chapter SEVENTEEN
Eric. I needed Eric. He’d know what to do. But he was crazy. I kicked a snow drift as I walked through its center outside of Collin’s home. The dry snow flew through the air and back into my face. It stung like little needles as it clung to my skin and melted on contact. The Valefar were gone. The Martis were gone. No one was here. I was alone. I wiped my face with a gloved hand. I’d borrowed some of Collin’s winter clothes, since I had none. The leather coat smelled like him. My fingers slid into his gloves and made me remember his hands on my body. I suppressed the memory.
It was pointless.
And to make matters worse, I actually thought about giving myself to Kreturus. The lack of his presence concerned me, but just because I didn’t see him, didn’t mean he wasn’t nearby. Maybe he made Collin say those words. Pressing my eyes closed, I walked onward through the snow, to nowhere. I could effonate, but I needed to feel something. I let the cold bite into the flesh on my face, as snowflakes and wind whipped through my hair. My curls were wet as they clung half frozen to my shoulders.
Eric. Eric knew where the Satan’s Stone was. That rock could be the answer to everything. It could undo everything. It could heal me, free Collin, and stop the war that was about to begin. The gates of Hell could not and would not open. Not if I could stop it. The stone could stop it. The stone had stopped it before.
Maybe Collin was right. Maybe I hadn’t accepted my fate. I didn’t have time to consider it. I had to find that stone. I had to find Eric. It surprised me that Eric made no effort to find me after our last meeting. I kicked more snow into the air. Speckles of white blinded me for a moment as I walked through the cloud of snow. The sting on my skin felt good.
Since I’d been learning from Ilecica, my ability to feel sensations had been hindered. Hindered is the wrong word. My ability to feel was out of whack. I felt some things, but not others. It made me wonder if I could feel my arm if I set it on fire. I didn’t understand how I could feel good as Collin’s hands slid over my skin, but not feel the right emotions when he left. The entire time he spoke, it felt like someone was strangling me. If I’d felt something –anything—besides invisible fingers squeezing the air out of my lungs, maybe I could have changed things. Maybe I could have convinced Collin that we weren’t enemies. But I didn’t. And now he was gone.
I kicked another pile of snow and walked through it. Eric. I had to find Eric. He could find Satan’s Stone. He had the book. My fingers tensed, as I thought about it. I needed that rock. That stone was my salvation. That stone had fabled power that was stronger than any of us. I had to get my hands on it, but Eric had the book—the useless book that no one could read. The book that connected things Eric had once known about Satan’s Stone. Things he forgot because of me. It didn’t matter. He had the book. That was enough. We’d figure out how to read it, and I’d kill him if I had to. Screw Lorren and his ward.
My eyes scanned the winter white blanket of ground in front of me. I walked. My feet crunched over snow and ice and frozen ground. Barren trees stuck up out of the snow like bony hands reaching for the warmth of the sun. A smile slowly slid across my frozen face. I knew where he’d be. Without another thought, I effonated to the place.