Safe at Last (Slow Burn #3)

“What is it, Zack?”


He huffed out his breath, remembering Gracie’s emotional tirade. That she couldn’t read minds anymore, that she wouldn’t even if she could. She’d said he’d taken that from her too. What the hell had she meant by that? It was the simplest solution. If only she would reach into his mind, then she’d know the hell he’d been through the last twelve years. She’d know that he’d spent more than a decade searching for answers—for her. And she’d damn sure know that he had nothing to do with her rape, that he would die before ever hurting her.

“Do you remember, when all that shit was going down with Ari, when I said that I used to know someone who read minds?” he asked quietly.

Her brow furrowed in thought, and she was silent for a moment, as if trying to recall the incident. Then her eyes flashed in recognition as she evidently remembered his long-ago statement.

“Yeah, I remember. But you never expounded. I’d forgotten all about it, to be honest.”

“I was talking about Gracie. She could read minds. I know it sounds crazy, but you of all people shouldn’t have a problem believing it. I mean after Ramie and Ari and all the crazy assignments we’ve had.”

Eliza’s features bunched into confusion. “But Zack, if she can read minds, then surely?. . .”

“Yeah, I know,” Zack said, cutting her off in midsentence. “The second time I saw her, in the art studio when she lost her shit and freaked out. When she was so terrified of me and hinted about this horrible thing I did. I told her to read my mind. It would be so simple, right? I told her to read my mind if she had any doubt, that she’d quickly know the truth and that whatever the hell she thought I’d done, she’d know I didn’t!”

Eliza continued to look puzzled. “So did she? You’re right in that if she truly has that ability it would be a simple solution. Then she wouldn’t be on the other side of this door scared out of her mind and upset over the idea of being in the same room with you. Obviously she didn’t—or couldn’t—otherwise she’d know, right? Why didn’t she, Zack? Wouldn’t she want to know the truth?”

Zack dragged a hand through his hair. “She told me she couldn’t. She said even if she could she wouldn’t. Then she said that I took that from her as well, and that it was the only thing she could ever thank me for. What the hell did she mean by she ‘can’t’? She made mention of never wanting to read anyone’s mind again. Said something about people being evil.”

Eliza’s eyes and expression were troubled. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t sound good. I think you should start there. Find out how or why she lost this ability. And you’re sure she was the real deal? I mean, was it something she claimed to be able to do or do you know for a fact she could?”

“Oh she was the real deal,” Zack said softly. “She hid it from everyone but me. She was terrified of what would happen if people knew. That she’d be treated like a freak and that she’d be a social pariah. You have to understand. Gracie lacked self-confidence. She was intensely shy and her self-esteem wasn’t the greatest. Her ability to read minds is what made her believe in my feelings.”

He broke off with a harsh laugh.

“Amazing, huh? She was able to read me like a book. She knew, and was confident in the fact, that I loved her. That what I felt for her was genuine. Her ability to read minds is what convinced her that I wasn’t fucking around with her or just trying to get into her pants. God, we waited. I never made love to her. She was too young and I thought we had all the time in the world. She would have given herself to me. She trusted me and believed absolutely that I loved her. But I wanted to wait. I didn’t want it to ever be in question that I, at twenty years old, took advantage of a sixteen-year-old girl. So it was my decision to wait. I wanted our wedding night to be special. It was a big deal to me that I would be her first—and only. That I would be the only man who ever made love to her.”

He broke off and covered his face with his hands.

“God,” he said, his words muffled by his hands. “Her first time was horrific, violent, painful. Nothing like what I had planned. I wanted it to be tender, exquisite, loving. To be the ultimate expression of my love for her. Instead her virginity was brutally torn from her by fucking animals.”

Eliza’s arms went around him, circling his waist as she leaned in and pressed her cheek to his chest. She simply held him as his body heaved with emotion. He wanted to cry like a damn baby. He wanted to weep for all that he’d lost, all that Gracie had endured—and lost. And for what they could never get back.