My back prickles with fear. “I was really asleep that long?”
He nods, his dark hair and the leaf on his necklace dangling as he leans over me.
The memory of that night returns in sickening waves: a callused palm squeezing out my oxygen, thick, sticky powder coating my throat and scorching the skin inside my nose, my windpipe, my lungs. The hateful, excited voices too—Vesper’s and Jan’s. “Was I almost dead?” I ask Armonk.
He hesitates, as if he’s not sure I can handle the truth.
“Well?”
“You could say that,” he admits. “Your pulse was so fast it seemed as if you might explode,” he says. “Then it got very slow, and faint and stayed like that almost until today. You only woke enough for us to drip some water down you, but I guess you don’t remember.” He places the rag on a side table. “The others will want to see you. Here, drink this before I get them.” He reaches for a glass and holds it up to my lips.
I take a few tentative sips, and then fat, greedy ones that dribble goop down my chin. It’s a mossy, sour brew, but it tastes like rivers of paradise. “Thanks, Armonk. How’s Thorn, is he okay?”
“Um, he’s fine. Now rest. I’ll be back.” With this, he pads out. I watch him go—his limping walk, his leather quiver, empty of arrows that he stores in his room, his quiet, sure manner.
I gaze around me in the darkened room, the only light coming in from the half-opened door. I’m no longer in Bea’s room. This room is small and windowless, empty except for the bed I’m in, and the side table. And a drawing tacked to the wall by my bed.
I study it. A purple line drawing of the antlered beetle I caught weeks ago! Only this one is made to look like an enchanted queen beetle, with a purple, bejeweled crown and scepter. I giggle. Something like this could look so silly unless it was drawn with grace and spirit, and humor. This is Bea’s fantastic drawing.
“Do you like it?” I turn over to see that she’s standing in the shadow of the doorway.
“Bea!”
“I drew it for you.” She steps closer. “I was worried that you wouldn’t wake up, so I … I wanted something magical to watch over you.”
My eyes blur with tears. “It’s beautiful, Bea! I love it.”
“You’re not mad at me for drawing your secret? I know you wanted to keep it private, but I hoped it would cheer you up like nothing else.”
“It’s absolutely fine, Bea. Thank you.”
She drifts closer, and sits on the edge of the bed. “Sorry I didn’t defend you. It’s unforgivable what Vesper did. And Jan,” she adds under her breath. “It’s just that we’ve all been through such hard times. It drives some people mad, you know?”
“It hardens people,” I say. “But that’s no excuse for hurting someone.”
“No. Nevada punished them,” Bea’s quick to add.
“They’ll really hate me now. They’ll blame me for their punishment.”
Bea shrugs. “Maybe so. Stay away from them. You have every right to be here.”
“I have a mother I could go back to.”
“But you said that you couldn’t. You said that a man assaulted you.”
“What?” Shame rushes through me. “I never told you that!”
“You were talking in your sleep. Saying all kinds of things.”
“Oh, no.” My face heats up, inflaming my lungs and throat all over again. “What else did I say? Did it make any sense?”
“You talked about men in ships. Men that had hair all over them, men stealing people.”
I grimace. “Those were nightmares, that’s all.”
“Nightmares come from something real, don’t they?” Her shrewd eyes stare into mine, willing out truths. This fledgling friendship is so raw. Dare I trust her?
“I guess they do. I don’t know what exactly.”
“Maybe something yet to come?” Something in her surety sets my teeth to grind, my worries to creep in. This place feels as unsafe as the old compound ever did. And yet, here I have a new friend, and actually two, with Armonk.
“How’s Thorn?” I ask her, remembering Armonk’s hesitant tone when I asked him. “Is he really okay?”
Bea’s quiet for a moment, wringing her delicate hands.
“What? Tell me.”
“He’s disobeyed Nevada’s quarantine a couple of times now.”
I hoist myself up higher. “What do you mean? How?”
“He keeps escaping to the field. Armonk and Blane keep finding him curled up under a Fireseed plant.”
“Blane, oh, no. Has Thorn cut any more holes in the tarp?”
“Yes.”
I sink as if I’m in a freefall. This is bad, very bad. We’ll be kicked out now for sure. “What did Nevada say? What did she do?”
“The funny thing is, well … come out and see for yourself.”
Adrenaline pounds into my system, down my spine and into my legs. In one fluid motion that seemed impossible even a half hour ago, I bolt upright, rock my legs over the bed and to the floor and slip on my boots. Holding onto Bea to steady myself, we walk down to tier one and out the garden door.
Chapter 13