I toss it back in the bag.
A lump forms in my throat as I steal down the darkened hall to the guest room where Meredy is staying with Lysander while her sister Elibeth is busy helping repair the Crowther manor and other homes in Noble Park destroyed by Shades.
All is quiet outside Meredy’s door. No trace of light glows from underneath. Not even an occasional grumbling snore from Lysander.
I press my cheek to the cold wood for a moment and close my eyes. It’s hard to believe I once thought her a brat. That I was so befuddled by calming potions, I couldn’t see her for the warrior she is. I’m going to miss her steadying touch when I’m at sea, feeling off-balance around so much that’s new. Squaring my shoulders, I stride quickly away, before thoughts of her can call me back, before she senses the presence outside her door and wakes.
Slipping through an exit not often used, I sling my bag over my shoulder and start off into the night, off to explore the great unknown like Evander always dreamed.
*
The banners of the Paradise billow in a nighttime breeze, beckoning me toward the harbor. I take a misstep and knock over someone’s potted shrub, grinning guiltily because I must still be slightly tipsy from the Festival of Change. After fighting for our lives, we all needed another celebration more than we realized.
A glimmer of moonlight on sleek feathers catches my eye. I turn, gazing up the hill to my right, back toward the palace.
There, pecking the last blackberries of the season from a row of neatly tended bushes under cover of darkness, is a pet peacock with a suspiciously crooked wing.
I raise a hand in greeting. The bird stretches out its long neck and squawks in return. I haven’t broken it after all, only changed it in my moment of carelessness, for better or worse, like Karthia was changed by the actions of a madman.
“I’m really sorry,” I whisper. But sensing movement on the distant ship, I realize there’s no time left for regrets or apologies. The crew is preparing to set sail.
As I run toward my new beginning in the harbor, the salty night wind combing my hair, I realize there are some changes I don’t regret. Ones I’m glad for, even, like Valoria’s inventions—some of them, anyway.
By the time I step on board the Paradise, the sky holds a faint trace of gray.
“You sure you want this?” Kasmira asks, looking me over with mild concern after I explain my intentions and press a hefty payment into her hands. “You’ve been through a lot, Sparrow. More than most people endure in a lifetime. All I’m saying is . . . this is a big decision, and I won’t turn my boat around for anyone.” She smiles and squeezes my shoulder. “Not even my favorite people in the world.”
“I’m sure.”
I follow Kasmira to the sleeping quarters, where I stow my bag in the tiny room I’ll be calling home for Vaia knows how long. I sit on the narrow bed, resting my chin on my hands, trying not to think about anything more than why there are several extra bags shoved in the corner next to a table and water jug.
It looks like my hard-earned money bought me a bed in the storage room.
When the sky has lightened a few more shades, Kasmira raps on the door, beckoning me to the main deck in time to watch the ship pulling away from shore. As I reach the rail, my stomach does a flip. I stare at the sea below, unsure whether I want to watch Karthia retreating into the distance as we glide toward open water through the early morning mist.
“Are you sure you’re in the right place?” a familiar voice asks. “Because we’re not turning this ship around just because a highborn lady forgot her hairbrush. Or so I’ve been told.”
I whirl around.
I must be hallucinating again, some long-ranging side effect of all those calming potions, because she looks different than I remember. Maybe it’s the plain trousers and black blouse beneath her fur-trimmed cloak, or the kohl thickly lining her eyes. Maybe it’s her glowing skin, or the way her smile isn’t so tightly controlled, or that her wine-red hair is half in a braid, half down, falling in waves around her shoulders.
But when she cautiously reaches out to touch my arm and it makes my mouth go dry, I know it’s really her—the person I was trying most to escape, stuck on this too-small boat with me.
I open my mouth to shout to Kasmira at the opposite rail, to demand that she turn the boat around. She catches my gaze and winks, and that’s when I’m certain there will be no turning back. This is really happening.
“Where’s Lysander?” I stammer, glancing around the deck.
“Making sure Kasmira doesn’t take any of his things,” Meredy murmurs.
“His things?”
She gives me a hesitant grin. “Bones, mostly. I packed a lot of tasty grizzly food to make sure he won’t gnaw on anyone here if the fish are scarce.”
I turn slightly away from her, deciding I need to gaze at Karthia’s familiar rocky cliffs for as long as I can. “When were you planning on telling me you were leaving?” I blurt out. Some of the crew turn to stare, and the back of my neck burns.
“You’re one to talk!” Meredy gives me another strange look, like she did earlier at the festival. “I tried to tell you, at the party. You were in such an odd mood, though, that in the end I thought it would be easier to say nothing.”
I think of the emerald pendant I almost left her, and nod. Then I frown as a ridiculous and unpleasant idea occurs.
“Were you following me? Is that why you’re here?”
Meredy draws herself up, her eyes flashing. She pulls out a tattered leather-bound book from inside her cloak and thrusts it at me. “This is why I’m here. And for your information, I came here straight after the party. You weren’t on board yet. Just so we’re clear on who’s following who.”
As I flip open the book, she adds, “That was my father’s. I kept it all these years because it’s the one thing my brother and I had in common.” She taps the open page. “These are all my father’s notes on Karthia’s provinces. His personal maps.” She flips toward the middle of the book, where the pages are blank except for a few water stains. “And these were waiting to be filled in by Elibeth or Evander—or me.”
Shaking, I lean harder against the rail, but that only makes me feel like I might fall overboard at any moment. I straighten. “Why now, though? Why this voyage?”
Meredy arches a brow. “I don’t know of any other ships leaving Karthian seas anytime soon, do you?” Retreating behind her mask of coolness, she adds, “Besides, it seemed the smartest thing to do, given . . . recent circumstances.” She pauses, narrowing her eyes at me. “Now. What are you doing here?”
I shake my head. “Believe it or not, the same as you.” When she frowns, I add, “I thought I’d fulfill Evander’s dreams since he’ll never have the chance.”
Meredy sighs. “Well, since we’re both here, we’ll just have to make the best of things, no?”