Of course he would. That would give her all night to worry about it. “I’d like to stay with her,” I said. “She’s my mother, after all. I have a right to say goodbye.”
“I was just about to suggest the very same thing myself,” said Daxton in a dangerously cheerful voice. Whatever he had planned, it couldn’t be good, but I would deal with it when it happened. “Now enjoy yourselves, both of you. This is, after all, a celebration.”
If I had been in Celia’s position, I wouldn’t have been able to eat a bite. As it was, I could barely keep my dinner down, but she feasted on everything in sight. Plate after plate, entrée after entrée, as if she hadn’t eaten in a month and never would again.
But she wouldn’t, I realized. This was her last meal.
After that, I didn’t touch the rest of my plate, even avoiding the desserts that the servers brought around for us to sample. Daxton seemed abnormally happy throughout the rest of the meal, and he continued to chat about the execution as if it were some party we were all looking forward to. Celia focused on eating, while Benjy also stared at his plate, barely touching a thing. As much as I hated knowing he had to see this, too, at least this time Iwasn’t the only witness to Daxton’s depravity.
At last, once even Celia couldn’t eat another bite, Daxton stood. “Make sure Celia is comfortable,” he said to Benjy. “It is, after all, her last night.”
“She can stay in my room,” I said, trying to give my voice as much authority as I could muster. Daxton tilted his head, considering.
“Well, it’s a bit more luxurious than the cellar, but why the hell not. I’m feeling generous tonight.” He bowed. “Ladies. Benjamin. Enjoy your evening.”
As soon as he was gone, everyone in the room seemed to exhale with relief. Benjy stood. “I’ll escort you both back to Lila’s room,” he said. “And I’ll make sure the guards undo your shackles, Celia.”
“Thank you,” she said, and the guards took their places on either side of her. I joined them, and together we trooped upstairs and back to Lila’s suite. True to his word, Benjy instructed the guards to remove Celia’s binds, and as she walked into the room, it suddenly hit me that I would have to spend the next twelve hours convincing her that I was, in fact, her daughter.
Benjy touched my shoulder, and I looked at him, more scared than I’d been in ages. He didn’t say anything, but he held my stare for a split second and nodded slightly. I could do this. He knew I could do this.
The problem was, I didn’t want to.
As soon as the doors closed and the lock clicked into place, trapping Celia and me for the night, she crossed the room and embraced me, her frighteningly skinny arms wrapping around me with what must have been all the strengthshe could muster. Silently I hugged her back.
We stood like that for minutes—hours—I couldn’t tell, and it didn’t matter. I would stay like this for the rest of the night if she wanted me to. But eventually she let go and touched my face, gazing into my eyes. Lila’s eyes.
“When—” Her voice caught in her throat, and a tear rolled down her cheek. She didn’t bother wiping it away. “When did it happen?”
I opened my mouth to ask what she meant, but it suddenly hit me, and the words retreated. She knew. Of course she knew. “Late December,” I whispered. “It was instantaneous. She felt no pain, and she didn’t know it was coming.”
Celia took a long, deep breath and released it slowly before capturing me in a hug again. “Good. At least she didn’t suffer.”
“Not even a little,” I promised. “How did you...?”
“Lila is my daughter. I know her better than anyone in the world.” Celia ran her fingers through my hair. “As soon as I knew he had you, too, it was obvious he was only going to keep one of you alive. I’ve been watching your appearances. You’re good. You’re very, very good. But you aren’t her.”
No, I wasn’t. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It isn’t your fault, and you’ve done a wonderful job keeping her alive. But, Kitty...” She paused and took my hand, leading me to the couch, where we sat down beside one another. She wrapped her arms around me again, holding me like I really was her daughter, and she kissed the top of my head. “Don’t lose yourself in this, all right? The Blackcoats are down, but they aren’t defeated. The people are unhappy, and eventually the revolution will happen. When it does, you need to be there to believe in the impossible. That’s the only way change happens—when someone dares to think differently and does whatever they have to in order to make that a reality. You can’tdo that if you’ve lost yourself in the meantime.”
“I’ll try not to,” I said, curling up against her. “We haven’t given up.”