Pure Blooded

“Thanks, but we’re not planning on coming back,” my brother said. Then he whispered too low for him to hear, “At least not in your lifetime.”

 

 

“Well, then, moonshine whenever you need it.” He fished something out of his front pocket. “Just gimme a call. We ship anywhere in the world.” Tyler took the card and grinned as he passed it to me.

 

It read:

 

 

JIMMY’S MOONSHINE

 

Better than yo’ mama’s moonshine.

 

We ship anywhere in the world.

 

www.jimmyshooch.com

 

 

 

“Thanks,” I said, tucking the card away. “If we find a need for it, we’ll be sure to get in touch with you.”

 

We began to walk up the banks to a dirt road. Right as we got there a brightly colored van turned into the drive. The vehicle was orange with lime-green accents—which appeared to be hand-painted drawings of tall swamp grass with a few alligator heads poking out. The side was crudely printed with EVERGLADES TOURS. SEE DEM GATORS UP CLOSE.

 

“Good criminy,” Ray muttered. “These people are beyond backwoods. They’re so far back, they’re only a step or two up from cavemen.”

 

“They are quite… uncivilized, aren’t they,” Nick added. He had joined us this morning, and insisted on accompanying us home. He’d been relegated to watching over the camps during the takedown of Marinette and the priestess, which I knew had been my father’s way of making sure he stayed safe. Nick was a fox, and if he’d been taken by the bokor, it would’ve ended very badly. My father loved him like a son, and even though I knew Nick was unhappy with my father’s decision to keep him back, he didn’t complain. That wasn’t his style. “But they do have a certain charm.”

 

“This must be what happens when you’re born and raised in a swamp,” I said. “But they deliver. We asked for a vehicle, and we got one within three minutes. Beggars can’t be choosers.”

 

“That thing looks like it’s made of Legos, constructed in some kid’s garage,” Ray grumbled. “These guys don’t have two brain cells to rub together.”

 

“They’re harmless,” Rourke said. “And now they owe us. We brought their boat back, and that buys us considerable loyalty.”

 

Ray shrugged. “It might, but what are they really going to do for us?”

 

I gestured toward the van. “That.”

 

The driver got out of the car and Marcy reached in the window and honked the horn. “We’re ready to go,” she called. She’d been negotiating with Teddy since he’d arrived. He was supposed to be the tall guide’s nephew, but he appeared to be older—considerably older. We walked toward the van. Marcy came around the front. “James is driving and I’m riding shotgun. Anyone complains, I don’t give two hoots. I have to make a quick phone call before we head out so I can wire Teddy here some money for his beautiful van.” She nodded toward Teddy, who with his long, grizzly beard had a ZZ Top vibe going.

 

Tyler made a show of inspecting the vehicle as Marcy borrowed a cell phone from the shorter guide to make the call. “Will it make it eighteen hundred miles?” he asked Teddy, skepticism in his voice.

 

“Sure ’nough,” Teddy said as he spit on the ground in front of us. “This here van is sound. My twin brother, Glenn, is a mechanic.” He patted the hood. “She’s been rebuilt more than ten times. Won’t be no issue for you.”

 

Ten times? I hoped Marcy wasn’t paying him much.

 

“Last rebuilt when?” my brother asked.

 

“Oh, about seven years ago,” Teddy answered. “But that ain’t no problem. He tinkers with it a lot.”

 

Before my brother could tell him off, I held up my hand. “Thank you for bringing it over so quickly. I’m sure it’ll get us home just fine. If it doesn’t, we’ll cope.” I turned to Tyler. “And here I didn’t think anything could trump the bright yellow Hummer you bought for us. Looks like you and Teddy have similar taste in vehicles, and I’m sure Glenn did a great job on the most recent rebuild.”

 

“That Hummer was built to withstand a war. This thing smells like it burns oil and gas every time the tires spin,” Tyler countered, irritated with me. “And that many rebuilds means its engine has parts from fifty different vehicles. It’ll be a miracle if we can limp back home in this piece of sh—”

 

“Done.” Marcy clapped her hands as she gave the cell phone back to Shorty and turned to the vehicle owner. “Teddy, the money is in your account. You can go check if you don’t trust me. We’ll take it from here.”

 

“Oh, I know you’re good for it, Red,” he said, tossing the keys to James, who was heading for the driver’s side. “Just like my uncle’s boat, feel free to bring it back anytime.” He winked and grinned at his own joke. I think we’d underestimated ol’ Teddy. Wrapping my head around how he was the taller guide’s nephew was too much trouble, so I turned and piled into the back with everyone else.

 

“How much did you pay for this thing?” Tyler grumbled as he climbed in behind me.