Meanwhile Chloe was in a frenzy over the presents. Grace looked wryly into Chloe’s agonized face and said to herself, yep, I walked right into that one, didn’t I?
Life narrowed and became one foot in front of the other again, one step at a time. Her higher thought processes took a hike. Even the babbler fell silent. She blew up the inflatable pool until she was dizzy, put it in the backyard in the corner near a shady tree, and yanked the old leaky hose over to add water to it. Not much. Enough for them to splash and have fun, but a small enough amount so that the sun could warm it quickly.
She put towels and sunscreen at one end of the table, and gave Chloe the task of ripping the packaging off the plastic water toys and stacking them in the red bucket. Chloe set to work with single-minded intensity. Grace turned her increasingly cloudy attention to lunch. A hot meal, dammit. Nothing fancy; they didn’t have anything fancy in the house. Simple comfort food.
What did they have to work with? She started grabbing things out of the cupboard. Egg noodles. Mushroom soup. Tuna. Great, a tuna casserole. Quick to throw together, easy to bake, and maybe she could sneak some peas past the food Nazi in Chloe’s head. That girl, that girl.
Chloe sang under her breath. Max scuttled around on the kitchen floor, dragging his love object/baby blanket along with him. Grace blanched noodles, threw everything together in a bowl, splashed some milk into it.
All her thoughts bled together in a jumbled mishmash.
Khalil’s hands. His mouth, working her with such gentle urgency. His presence, everywhere.
What was she forgetting?
Gram, swimming beside her in the dark sea. You’re almost out of tuna.
Was that actually what Gram had said? Tuna? Or time?
Gram really would have liked the kitchen ghosts, but they were loud today and restless. Chloe was loud too and getting louder, her singing escalating up the music scale.
Phaedra, screaming. That fragile, rare connection.
Grace filled the casserole dish. Set the mixing bowl in the sink, and filled it with water to wash later. Forgetting something. Oh, duh. She hadn’t turned on the oven yet. Good thing the air-conditioners were on. Otherwise the old oven would heat the house up terribly.
She had left her body when Khalil made love to her. Not figuratively. She really had left her body.
That was unusual.
You left your body once tonight, the goddess had said in her dream. You can do it again if you want to badly enough.
She needed to remember that. It might have meaning.
Forgetting. Dammit, the oven. Food would help to clear her head. Then she would take the kids out to play in the pool. She turned the oven on and pulled out a chair to sit down with a sense of relief. Soon the next step would be to eat something. That one was easy.
Don’t stay in the house when you bake the casserole.
Grace smiled as she remembered seeing Gram, even if it had been just a dream.
Actually, the house did get pretty hot when the oven was on, even with the air-conditioning working. She looked into Chloe’s agonized face. She would never get the little girl to eat, unless they went outside first.
She asked, “Do you want to play in the pool while lunch cooks?”
“Yes!” Chloe screamed. She hit a perfect high C, which was like a needle going into the brain. She grabbed the bucket’s handle and raced out the back door.
Grace and Max looked at each other. “Come on, you too, little man,” she told him. She scooped him up, grabbed the towels and the sunscreen, and went outside too. She stripped Chloe down to her panties, left Max in diaper and diaper cover, liberally sprayed both of them with sunscreen and then sprayed herself. The kids went into the pool with the toys, while she eased down onto a towel.
She could actually relax for ten minutes or so while the oven preheated. Yowzer.
Max’s wonder and Chloe’s delight were a joy to watch. Grace let her mind fill with clouds as she watched them play in the pool. She caught herself up with a jerk as she almost fell asleep. Ugh, dammit, not when the baby was in the water. He was only sitting in a couple of inches, but still.
Time to put the casserole in the oven. But not without the baby.
She stood first and pulled him out of the pool. Max, who was normally so placid and easygoing and an all-around cool guy, stiffened in outrage and yelled. “Whoa,” she said. “It’ll only be for a minute, buddy.”
Unfortunately he didn’t have the language to understand, but he did have object permanence, and he had developed some mad love for that little pool. He kicked and screamed. The sound scraped against her already abused eardrums. She said loudly to Chloe, “We’ll be right back.”
Chloe nodded without looking up. Grace walked toward the house while she tried to control Max’s chunky, protesting body. She couldn’t even hear herself think, let alone figure out why all the ghosts of the old women rushed at her, their indistinct, transparent forms loud with distress—
You’re going the wrong way.
Which was ridiculous. That was from her dream. She was only going to the kitchen.