—I’m hungry. I don’t want to die when I’m hungry.
—We’re not going to die, Alex. We’re going to single-handedly start a global thermonuclear war, and we’ll be the only two idiots to survive. We’ll have plenty of time to eat our sandwich then. Get your arms in, I’ll do the rest. Front is closed. Did you put on weight?
—More muscle.
—Of course. Put your gloves on, Arnold. My turn now. Of all the places we could cross into Korea from, I can’t believe they chose this one. I love the sense of irony.
—I don’t understand.
—Do you know what the bridge between Dandong and Sinuiju is called?
—Something Chinese?
—It’s the Sino-Korean Friendship Bridge.
—Hey, what are friends for?
—I’m all strapped in. Are you ready to get shot at?
—Sure.
—Katherine, our computer tells us we’re 6,420 meters from the river at 116 degrees. Can you confirm? I don’t want to overshoot the river if we’re not welcome.
[Vincent, the nerds here are nodding.]
All right. That should do it, give or take a step. Ready, Alex?
—If you say so.
—Friendship Bridge, here we come …
—Oh my God!
[What? Oh my God what?]
—Relax, Katherine, it’s the bridge. It’s full of lights. It lights up the water underneath. It’s really pretty.
[Damn, you guys. You almost gave me a heart attack. What about the tanks?]
We can’t see anything with the city lights. It’s dark on the Korean side. They can see us, though.
[Are they firing?]
Do you think we’d mention the bridge being pretty but forget about the North Korean Army firing at us? I think we’re good. Either that, or they’re— —Oh my God!
[What? Something pretty again?]
—You could call it that. There’s a giant robot full of bright green light on the Korean side of the river.
[Lapetus is there? In North Korea?]
I’m afraid so. Should we leave?
[Stand by.]
Shit, it’s walking towards us.
—What do they want?
—I don’t know. I think it just waved at us.
<Hi, Dad!> Fuck.
—Is that—?
—Yeah. It is.
FILE NO. 2196
MISSION LOG—WARRANT OFFICER EVA REYES AND LT. BARBARA BALL, U.S. MARINE CORPS, MECHA DIVISION
Location: Aboard Lapetus. Seoul, South Korea
—Can I call you Eva?
—As opposed to what?
—You’re a warrant officer in the Marine Corps. I can call you ma’am. I can call you chief if you like.
—Eva’s fine.
—Good. I’m Barbara.
—Do they often switch pilots on you at the last minute?
—Nope. Never happened before.
—First time for everything, I guess.
—Second time, actually. Both today. I usually ride with Captain Hough. To be honest, he’s much better than I am with the legs. I get the arms. Then they tell me I’ll ride with Benson, and now you. I don’t know what’s wrong with them today.
—I know why Captain Hough isn’t here. He has a broken arm.
—How do you know?
—I broke it.
—What?
—He touched me.
—Bodie grabbed you?
—He put his arm around my shoulder. I asked him to remove it. He didn’t.
—Haha! I’m sorry, that’s not funny at all. I can’t believe you broke Bodie’s arm! He must be so pissed. He’s been dying for a combat mission.
—He’s a dick.
—Eva, I think you and I are gonna get along fine. Do you know why they removed Benson?
—I think they want me to prove myself?
—Why? How? We’re just here to scare the Chinese away. They won’t cross into Korea with us standing there.
—They might. Themis is with them.
—Shit.
—Shit is right. My father’s inside.
— …
—You can say it. The traitor, right?
—No. I’m sure he has his reasons … Do they expect us to fight?
—Either that, or they think my dad’ll back away.
—That’s fucked up.
—You can say that again.
—Are you … OK with this?
—It doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice.
—I’m sorry. I mean that. I’m truly sorry. This is just sick.
[Lapetus, this is Central, change of plan.]
Roger, Central. Are you gonna tell us what the new plan is?
[Themis is at the Yalu River, alone.]
Where are the Chinese?
[About eight hours away. Your job is to get Themis to leave before they get there.]
And just how do you suggest we do that? Ask nicely?
[We’re giving you some operational discretion on this one.]
How much discretion? Are we clear to engage?
[Affirmative.]
… Roger that … Central, do we have the right crew for this?
[Lapetus, you have your orders. Turn to 320 degrees, 7 minutes.]
Are you up for this, Eva?
—Do you think they’ll let me leave if I’m not?
—Probably not.
—Then let’s just get this over with.
—Central, heading three, two, zero point seven. And change. Awaiting distance. Are we doing this in one jump?
[Any part of North Korea you’d like to visit along the way?]
Negative, Central. One jump it is. It just seems a little long if we’re to land in a river.
[Your concerns are duly noted, Lapetus. Unit size sixty-four. Distance three-five-three. In base-8, that’s a round one hundred for units, five-four-one for distance.]
Roger, Central. One-zero-zero. Five-four-one. Ready for jump.
[Lapetus, you are go for jump.]
Punching it in now.
…
—Uh, Barbara? I don’t think we’re in the right spot.
—I see that, Eva. Central, this is Lapetus. We’re about a quarter mile short of the river on the Korean side. We’re standing on some tanks. I repeat. We’re standing on tanks. More tanks all around. Looks like a whole regiment. I see foot soldiers to the east. It’s dark outside but it looks like a lot, five, ten thousand maybe.
[Can you see Themis?]
Affirmative. She’s in the river right in front of us. We’re walking towards them.
—Hi, Dad!
—Did you just wave at them?
—Yep.
[Lapetus. You should beam into the river, get away from those tanks.]
Copy that, Central. Punchin—Hot damn! They’re firing at us!
[Beam out of there, Lapetus. Get to the river.]
Can’t do that with our shield working. They’re lighting us up like a Christmas tree!
—Barbara, give me a weapon!
—You got it, Eva.
—How does that thing work? Last time I was inside one of these things, we had a sword, not a … ball of light.
—Point and I’ll shoot.
—They’re everywhere! Just shoot!
—Incoming missile, port side! Brace for impact!
—I’d be happier with a shield in my hand. Yokits! That hurt!
—Shit. Two more SAM launchers to starboard. Are those tanks ever gonna stop?
—Forget the tanks, let’s get rid of those missiles first. Fire!
[Lapetus, we’re showing half a dozen MiGs heading your way. Repeat, six MiGs. ETA 1 minute.]
—Copy, Central. You can stop with the good news. We’re as happ—AAARGH! FUCK! Where did that one come from?
—Behind us, two more trucks with big rockets on top!
—Screw this! Switching to a wide beam. We’ll just swing around and wipe them all out.
—There are ten thousand men over there, Barbara. Do we have to kill them all?
—Sorry, Eva, but that’s what you get for standing next to the asshole firing missiles at us. What the—? Central, Themis just appeared in front of us. She’s attacking!
—No! She’s not! She’s firing at the tanks!
—Why is your dad helping us?
—He’s not helping us. Vincent’s trying to stop us from overloading and wiping out everyone. He’s trying to save the Koreans.
— …
—Trust me, Barbara! He’s not gonna hurt us.
—All right, I’ll play. Narrow beam. Point at the SAM launchers.
—Fire! Fire!
—Now to starboard.
—Got it! Fire!
—Behin—
—I know! There! How’s that feel?
—I think we got them all?
—Down there. There’s one tank left next to our right foot.
—Not anymore. Central, there are no more hostiles. Guys on foot are running away.
[Is Themis still there?]
Affirmative. It’s just the two of us— —Barbara!
—AND A BUNCH OF MiGS! Fuck, they’re firing. That one’s gonna hurt! Brace! Brace! Brace!
—Yokits!
FILE NO. 2195 (CONTINUED)
MISSION LOG—VINCENT COUTURE AND SERGEANT ALEXANDER VASILIEV
Location: Aboard Themis. Sinuiju, North Korea