One of Telys’s hulking comrades spoke up. “He, not they. She was sharing lodgings with a youth when we found her.” Theseus grimaced in displeasure. The guard went on hastily, as if trying to distance himself from his king’s wrath. “They weren’t sharing a blanket. He was probably just her servant, nothing more. When he drew a sword against us, it was easy to kill him.”
To kill him… The words hit me like stones. A howl of sorrow stripped my throat raw as I sank to my knees. I’d feared Milo had been hurt, but this? This? I wailed until my voice shattered and all I could do was rasp air.
I let the lady Aithra help me to my feet and lead me away. I didn’t care where I was going or what would become of me. I was walking through a black tunnel, and the only light I could see in the distance burned red as blood.
I lay on a flower-scented bed for four days, not rising except when I had to. I slept without dreams, ate nothing, and only took a sip of water now and then because Lady Aithra wouldn’t leave me alone until I did. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want to live either. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, unless it was to escape from the unmoving thought Milo is dead.
When Hylas died, I’d mourned. I’d felt pain and loss, but this—this was different. It was a headlong plunge into darkness. Did I love Milo so dearly? The question wandered through my mind like a wisp of smoke, and the answer followed: Yes. I loved him, but not with the flare of love I felt for Hylas, or the steady-burning love my parents know, or Medea’s devastating blaze. O Aphrodite, will I ever understand all the forms your gift can take? My brothers were afraid Milo and I would share a bed. How to tell them that we shared a different bond of love? And now…he’s gone.
On the fifth day, my stomach creased with hunger so painfully that I ate the meal a slave brought for me. This was the first time I did more than stare dully all day at the filled cup and platter. The first nibble soon turned to a frenzy of gobbling, until my belly revolted and I threw up every mouthful. I fell back groaning onto the bed and the frightened slave ran to fetch Lady Aithra.
The king’s mother quickly saw to it that I was given some vegetable broth to drink, which soon settled my stomach. She watched with genuine concern while I made a second try at eating. It was the first time I’d received such care since I’d left Sparta, my mother, and my nurse, Ione. Warm memories of home mingled with the pain of losing Milo and turned into tears. I sobbed myself to sleep with Lady Aithra cradling me as if I were her own child.
The next time I woke up, I felt more like myself. I sat up and saw that Theseus’s mother was seated beside my bed, working on a piece of embroidery. She smiled when she saw me. “Better now?”
I got out of bed and knelt before her, embracing her knees. I didn’t know the custom in Athens, but when a Spartan petitioner was desperate to have his plea granted, this was how he approached the king.
“Child, what’s the matter?” the old queen cried, dropping her cloth.
“Lady Aithra, I beg of you, tell me that your son was only jesting about my being his bride. It can’t happen. Surely he realizes that? Please, speak with him. Tell him that he’s had his fun, but now it’s time to let me leave Athens. The gods will reward him for his kindness.”
“But, my dear, it’s all true,” Lady Aithra said, stroking my hair. “He loves you, you know. Even before you came to us, he spoke to me of how you’d met in Calydon and again at Delphi. ‘It’s a sign that she and I are fated to be together,’ he told me. You’re a very fortunate girl to have a man like my son in love with you.”
“If he loves me that much, am I free to go?”
The question bewildered her. “But—but if you go, how can you marry him?”
“I won’t,” I replied hotly, pushing myself away from her and standing tall. “Your son isn’t in love with me. He loves the Spartan throne. He thinks he’ll win it if he forces me to marry him, but all he’ll get is war. My father won’t allow—”
She interrupted me with a wistful little laugh. “Listen to you, you little firebrand! I used to turn the smallest thing into a big uproar when I was your age, too. Stop being silly. Royal marriages make peace, not war. Both of our peoples will benefit from that. Lord Tyndareus won’t raise a hand against Athens. What sane man goes to war against his own kin?”
“Marriage won’t make me kin to Theseus.”
“Your child will.” Her face was utterly serene. “My boy explained everything to me. He’s so very clever! No one knows you’re here. Well, no one but the people who were in the throne room five days ago, but they’re loyal Athenians, and the slaves know better than to speak out of turn. You’ll marry Theseus, I’ll pray to the gods that you’re blessed with a baby as soon as possible, and then we can send the good news to your parents. Think of how pleased they’ll be, to learn their daughter will be queen of two great cities!”
I felt cold. “Your son’s cruel, not clever. To wait until I have a baby…You know how long that can take!” I thought of Delphi, and the fisherman’s daughter. My friend Eunike had used her position as the holy Pythia to enable my adventures by saying it would be a year or more before I came home. Yes, but how much more? My parents wouldn’t wait forever. “My family will think I’m dead! And may the gods forbid it, but what if my father were to die before your son achieves his ‘brilliant’ plan? My sister, Clytemnestra, would take the throne. She’s a princess of Mykenae now. Do you think her husband would hand back Sparta without a fight? You will have war!”
Lady Aithra was unperturbed. “Then we’ll let your parents share our joy as soon as you’re pregnant. That won’t take long at all. You have become a woman already, haven’t you?”
“No,” I said. I had no second thoughts about that lie.
“Lady Helen, I didn’t mean that as an actual question. Your belongings were brought to the palace four days ago. A girl doesn’t need those woolen pads.” She shook her head sadly. “Really, my dear, you’ll have to trust me. I’m going to be your second mother.”
Not if I can help it, I thought.