“We’ll do whatever we have to do to stop it.”
Fair enough.
Fairy Tails’ seats left a lot to be desired in terms of comfort. I shifted in my seat to cross my legs—at least I tried.
And I froze in complete revulsion.
The bottoms of my shoes were stuck to the floor.
Ian must have seen my horrified expression even with the sunglasses, and his right hand instinctively moved toward his gun. “What is it?”
“My shoes are stuck to the floor.” Each word was higher, squeakier, and closer to panic than the one before. I couldn’t help it.
“It’s spilled beer,” Ian hurried to assure me.
“Beer is sticky?”
“Beer could be . . . sticky.” Ian reassured me in the same tone he’d use to talk someone off a ledge.
I wasn’t having it. Panic was in the driver’s seat and had taken the wheel. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “It’s not beer.”
These shoes were going in the garbage as soon as I got home, if not before. Maybe I could convince Ian to add new shoes to his expense report. I loved these shoes. I’d spent more money than I should’ve on these shoes, but no amount of money was enough to pay me to keep them after tonight. And the bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse wasn’t nearly enough to wash this place off the rest of me.
I took a deep breath and tried not to think of my shoes and . . . beer.
Focus on the job, Mac. The nice job. The one you really like.
But Disney porn princesses, ATMs next to the bathrooms, fake fire, plastic goblets, even more plastic riding high in Red’s corset, and sticky floors from God only knows what. This wasn’t worth insurance and a 401k. Nothing was worth this.
Focus, Mac.
I glanced at my watch. It was a little before midnight. We had to find, apprehend, and deliver five leprechauns before dawn. And buy new shoes. This was New York City. There had to be all-night shoe shops. I’ll bet Elana knew.
Talk, Mac. Talking will help.
“You’d think that a leprechaun prince would have more . . .”
“Taste?” Ian finished for me.
“To say the least.”
Ian looked around with a dismal sigh. “Hate to burst your bubble.”
I wiggled my toes in my stuck shoes. “Oh, it’s long gone.”
I wasn’t the only one who was less than comfortable here. Mike and Steve the elves were both staring at Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty in open-mouthed disbelief. Elana had an impressive facepalm going, and her shoulders were shaking with laughter.
At a two-beat lull in the pounding music, I heard Steve say, “Can you say copyright infringement?”
Mike nodded in agreement. “Walt’s doing wheelies in his urn.”
Elana’s shoulders shook harder.
Ian put down his beer. “They’re not going to show. There’s something we’re missing.”
“Besides leprechauns—and new shoes?” I asked hopefully.
“Yes.” He stood. “We’re wasting time. Let’s get out of here.”
That was the best idea I’d heard all night.
I thought the next two clubs had to be better.
I was wrong.
And to make it even worse, I was running out of hand sanitizer.
Three sleazy strip joints. Three strikes. Same shoes.
Unfortunately, three strikes didn’t mean we were out by any stretch of the imagination, or that we could call it a night. Our night didn’t end until we found those leprechauns.
Ian had been talking on his Bluetooth, checking in with the other two teams. Not only were we running out of viable clubs to check, we were running out of night. The prince and his bachelor party were due home by dawn, and we weren’t any closer to getting the job done.
“Anybody else get lucky?” I asked, completely over any and all embarrassment I might have had letting a double entendre slip.
A larger problem for me than the lack of leprechauns in any of the first three clubs was the lack of a usable ladies’ room in any of them. I’d assumed they all had ladies’ rooms; it’s just that Satan would be serving sno-cones in Hell before I would’ve set foot in any of them. Even the time-honored squat ‘n’ hover method wasn’t an option. If the floors in the clubs were sticky, I didn’t even want to think about what the bathrooms looked like. And I really needed a clean bathroom right now. I’d been fairly certain our waitresses in the next two clubs hadn’t been trying to poison me, so I’d had more Coke than my bladder could comfortably hold. Not to mention, if Yasha hit one more pothole, I was liable to let out a burp that’d ring his windshield, right before I’d wet my pants.
“Aren’t leprechauns in the Seelie Court?” I asked Ian, trying to keep my mind off the impending rupture of my bladder. “And isn’t the Seelie Court the good guys?”