Night School: Resistance (Night School 4)

Although tempted to say yes just to watch her squirm, Allie shook her head.

‘I just … I thought I could …’ She made herself say it. ‘Could I ask you a weird question?’

Katie brightened visibly. ‘Please tell me you want makeup tips. I’ve been dying for you to ask me.’

Allie paused. ‘What’s wrong with my makeup?’

‘Oh, Allie,’ Katie said, shaking her head mournfully. ‘Everything.’

On some level Allie wanted to discuss eyeliner for half an hour and forget all about Sylvain and Carter and life. But she couldn’t forget.

That was the problem.

‘It’s not about makeup,’ she said. ‘It’s a random thing just about, like … boys.’

Katie pursed her lips. Leaning forward in her chair, she lowered her voice. ‘I’ve noticed things are weird between you and Sylvain. What’s going on? Is it a sex thing?’

‘No, it’s not a sex thing,’ Allie glared. ‘It’s … well, it’s something else. And we’re not having problems.’ She added the last line hastily. ‘We’re fine.’

That wasn’t true but … whatever.

‘Well, what is it, then?’ Katie looked as if she couldn’t imagine a problem between couples that did not involve sex.

Allie was already regretting this conversation. But she had to talk to someone.

‘It’s not about me and Sylvain,’ she lied. ‘It’s for someone else. They asked me and I didn’t know what to say because … anyway. I didn’t know. And I thought you might.’

Katie studied her steadily.

‘What does your … friend’ – she emphasised the word – ‘want to know?’

‘OK, so …’ Allie couldn’t look at her. She kept her eyes on her hands, which were twisting the hem of her short skirt into a knot. ‘If a boy tells you he loves you and you can’t say it back, does that mean you don’t love him? Or are you just … I don’t know. Weird. Or something.’

Katie’s smile faded. ‘Oh. A real question. Right.’

As she paused to mull this over, Allie sat miserably, wishing she’d never brought it up.

When Katie finally spoke again, her tone was surprisingly thoughtful. ‘It could mean she doesn’t love him back. Sometimes it does. There’s nothing like someone telling you they love you for you to realise you don’t feel the same way.’

Allie’s heart sank. How could I not love Sylvain? Is that even possible? He’s beautiful and he kisses like fire. And he loves me. Katie was still talking, warming to the topic.

‘On the other hand, it could also mean you’re— Sorry. I mean, she’s not ready for that kind of commitment yet.’ She looked at Allie seriously. ‘It’s a really big deal. If you say you love someone then suddenly everything gets super intense. You could really like him but maybe he just said it too soon.’ She seemed pleased with her own assessment. ‘Tell your friend to take her time. Nobody should rush anyone into “I love you.” Frankly, I’m surprised Sylvain would put pressure on you like that.’

Allie, who was still processing all of this, replied automatically.

‘He’s not pressuring me—’ Realising what she’d said, she blanched. ‘I mean, she’s … I didn’t mean …’

Katie wore the serene countenance of the victor. ‘Of course he isn’t. He’s far too mature for that.’ Allie got the feeling she enjoyed her new role of romantic advisor. ‘Love is a big deal, Allie. You can’t say it if it’s not right. I don’t think I’ve ever said it. Not yet.’

Allie mumbled some sort of garbled thanks, and Katie beamed at her.

‘If you ever need more advice, come to me,’ she said brightly. ‘I’m like a sexpert.’

If Allie had thought talking about this would make her feel better, she’d been wrong.

She felt utterly confused.

How could she not love Sylvain? They were perfect together.

But then, if she did love him, why couldn’t she just say so?

And why did she feel so empty when Carter walked away?



After Night School that evening, the group stayed behind for more weapons training. Allie waited until it was just the six of them before standing up. She’d thought about this all afternoon. It was time to settle this. And get things back to normal.

‘Before we get started, there’s something I want to say. What happened in the chapel – the way I agreed to the parley without asking you first – that was wrong. And I’m sorry.’

She saw Rachel’s eyes widen. The cautious approval on Nicole’s face.

The puzzled boredom in Zoe’s expression.

‘I know it made you all angry and upset, and I don’t blame you. Please believe me.’ With her eyes she sought out Sylvain’s face. His expression was hard to read. ‘I won’t do anything like that again. I promise. We’re a team. We decide things together.’ Tugging at the hem of her black exercise top, she stepped back. ‘That’s all I wanted to say. I hope you can forgive me and I’d really like us to get back to normal. If we can.’