Night School

A sudden rush of adrenalin made her feel very awake. ‘We’ll be so busted if Jules finds out,’ she said, although she didn’t really care.

‘Oh, I can handle Jules,’ he said. Sitting on the floor beside the bed he stretched out his legs with a groan of pleasure – his lanky frame had been compressed on the window ledge, and he’d probably been running all night. ‘Besides, everything’s crazy today. Nobody will notice. Get into bed and let’s both try to sleep.’

After a second’s hesitation, Allie climbed off the desk and onto the bed. Feigning nonchalance, she pulled the blue blanket off the footboard and handed it down to him. But when their fingers touched as he took it from her they both froze for a second.

‘Do you need a pillow?’ she asked, forcing her voice to be steady.

‘Thanks – no, this is good.’ He sounded calm but she could see how tight his jaw was as he unfolded the blanket.

Allie stretched out and tried to relax but her body was rigid – every muscle tensed as if for flight. She put her hands over her face.

‘I can’t do this. I’ll never sleep.’

Carter lifted one of her hands off her face and held it. ‘Did I ever tell you that I used to have panic attacks?’

Surprised, Allie rolled onto her side so that she could see him. ‘Did you? When?’

‘A few years ago.’ He was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. ‘I was going through a rough patch and I started having these … episodes. A good friend helped me through it. And one thing he taught me was to stop thinking about what was freaking me out, and to concentrate instead on things that made me feel safe. Even … happy. To force better thoughts into my head. What makes you happy, Allie?’

She thought hard. Christopher, alive and well and normal. Being part of a normal family. Being here. Until last night anyway.

‘I don’t know,’ she whispered.

Carter was quiet for a while, holding her hand against his chest. When he spoke again, she could feel the rumble of his voice through her fingertips.

‘Imagine … we’re somewhere else. Somewhere really beautiful. Maybe on a beach with white sand and blue water.’

She tried to see herself sitting with Carter in the shade of a palm tree, sand between their toes.

‘You’re safe here,’ he said, his voice low and steady. ‘Maybe later we’ll snorkel and watch the fish swim. Bright colourful fish. Can you see them?’

Focusing on his words, she thought she could see them – flashing by in the blue water. She began to hear the rhythmic rumble of waves. His voice was so calming, her shoulders relaxed at last as bright shoals of tiny blue, red and yellow tropical fish scattered across her imagination. Her breathing became more steady. She felt herself sinking into the warm water – slowly and deliciously.

‘It’s beautiful.’ Her voice was thick with sleep.

‘Yes it is,’ he said, still holding her hand.

In her mind she surfaced, and saw a ship on the horizon, sails unfurling as she fell asleep.





SEVENTEEN


When Allie woke some time later, she was alone, but she had the not unpleasant feeling that Carter had been with her most of the time. She’d half-woken several times from bad dreams and in her exhausted daze thought she’d heard him whisper: ‘It’s OK. Sleep.’

Sitting up, she looked at the alarm clock. It was just before seven o’clock.

Morning? Or night?

A glance out the window revealed a summer evening. She’d slept all day.

As she stretched her tired muscles, her stomach rumbled so loudly at first she didn’t know what she was hearing.

‘Starving,’ she announced to the empty room.

Jumping out of bed, she headed straight for the door then skidded to a stop when she caught a glance of herself in the wall mirror. Her hair stood on end, her face was smudged with soot and she still wore the same clothes she’d put on in the middle of last night, now almost unrecognisably wrinkled.

She made a face at herself. Oh balls. Even I can’t go out looking like this.

Grabbing a hairbrush off the desk, she forced it through the tangled waves, then quickly changed clothes, hopping up and down on one leg and swearing under her breath when her skirt caught on the shoes she’d put on first.

Still buttoning the waistband, she rushed out of her room, stopping briefly at the mirror to wipe the soot off her face, and headed down the empty hallway to the landing, where she stopped.

It was quiet. Unnaturally quiet.

An awful thought crossed Allie’s mind: What if everybody left while I was sleeping, and they just forgot me?

Even though she knew it was absurd she felt a rush of fear as she raced down the stairs, hearing only the rubber patter of her shoes on the steps. As she neared the ground floor, though, she saw crowds of students moving in a subdued hush to the dining room and she slowed her pace. She felt ridiculous.

Of course they hadn’t left.