Allie’s expression hardened, but Raj didn’t back down. He lowered his head to catch her gaze. ‘Leaving Carter wasn’t Isabelle’s call. Carter knew what the drill was going in. He knew everything that could happen – every possible way it could go wrong. He was ready for this.’
She didn’t want to argue with him but cold anger was creeping back into her veins like ice water. She squeezed her hands into fists, waiting to speak until she had her emotions under control.
‘Where is he, Raj?’ she said, letting the earlier conversation drop. ‘Is he alive?’
He didn’t answer right away. When he spoke, his voice was low.
‘I wish I knew.’
4
The rest of the day passed in a haze of exhaustion.
Allie went to the dining hall at lunch time to prove to the others how fine she was.
Completely fine.
As soon as she walked in the room, though, Katie Gilmore ran to her and wrapped her in an entirely unfamiliar hug.
‘Thank God you’re OK.’
After hating her for years, it felt weird being her friend. Not bad weird. Just… weird weird. And yet, Allie found herself hugging her back, clinging to Katie’s lean shoulders, her face buried in her long, red hair. She smelled of the world’s most expensive perfume.
‘It was awful,’ Allie heard herself whispering. And she wished she would stop.
How was anyone going to believe she was fine if she kept saying she wasn’t?
But Katie seemed to understand. Her beautiful face looked sombre – all of her arrogance stripped away.
‘I’m so sorry about Lucinda. I admired her so much.’ Katie’s voice was low; her words were meant for Allie alone. ‘She was a giant.’
Mention of her grandmother made Allie’s heart lurch.
Unlike Allie, Katie had grown up with Lucinda Meldrum – always head of Orion, always a tangible part of her life.
It would have been wonderful to grow up with Lucinda always there.
‘She was amazing,’ Allie agreed softly, ‘wasn’t she?’
The two exchanged a look of understanding. Then Katie cocked her head to one side and narrowed her gaze. ‘You should eat. You look like crap.’
And just like that the moment was over.
Lessons were cancelled, of course. And Night School. Having nothing to do felt like failure. If Allie hadn’t been so exhausted she would have run back to Raj and shouted at him. Demanded they all get back to work. Find Carter. Fix this.
But she didn’t. What good would it do? The truth was, they had lost. They were defeated. They’d failed.
Besides, the teachers were locked away somewhere having secret strategy meetings. She hadn’t seen any of them since she’d returned to the school. There was no one to shout at.
After lunch, the others succumbed one by one to the lack of sleep, disappearing to their rooms. But Allie refused to follow them.
The last time she’d slept she’d been lying in Carter’s arms in the safe house in London. The memory of that moment haunted her now.
She didn’t want to be in her room. Didn’t want to be alone.
She didn’t want to be safe when Carter wasn’t.
By late afternoon, though, she was punch-drunk with exhaustion. She hadn’t slept properly in two days.
She reeled through the tangle of hallways alone, trying to stay awake.
‘Someone to talk to,’ she muttered to herself as she turned into the common room. But it was empty, save for the cleaners, who were silently stacking used cups and plates on trays. The delicate clattering of the china echoed in the stillness.
She walked along the formal hallway as far as the classroom wing, where a cluster of marble statues kept watch. Then she turned and paced back again, fingers tracing the grooves of the carved panelling.
Eventually, she found herself standing outside the library, unable to remember exactly how she’d got there.
The door swung open with a soft sound, like an intake of breath.
This room was as familiar to Allie as her own bedroom. The long rows of tall bookcases with their tilted, rolling ladders. The dim, low light. It felt like refuge.
She walked in slowly – the high-ceilinged space felt hollow and empty. There was no sign of Eloise, the librarian. Or of any students or guards. The big metal light fixtures hanging from chains had been left on, as they always were. Green-shaded lamps glowed on every empty table.
Allie found herself walking slowly across the room. She was so tired her feet felt light. Like she was floating through the fiction section. Thick Persian carpets muffled her footsteps, adding to the sense of unreality.
Maybe she was asleep right now, and dreaming this whole thing.
When she reached the modern history section she turned. Her fingertips lightly brushed the gilded spines of the old books as she looked for one title. When she found what she sought, she slid it off the shelf and clutched it to her chest.
It was a heavy book with a leather cover. The title was Conquering the World.
Allie closed her eyes.
A month ago, she’d stood right here with Carter, bickering about their history assignment.
‘Here’s a good one,’ he’d said, handing her this book.