‘Thank God for that.’
‘Look,’ Allie said. ‘I love Carter. I’m sorry about… everything. But I love him. It’s the most real thing in my life.’ She took a shaky breath. ‘Maybe the only real thing.’
If she’d hoped to move Katie, she was to be disappointed. The redhead squinted at her sceptically.
‘Come on, Allie. You have form on this. You love him today and hate him tomorrow. So ask yourself this. Is it love love? Like, actual love? Not the pretend…’ she waved her hand in an impatient gesture, ‘things are dangerous and you have muscles so let’s just do it’ love. But the messed up, ugly, painful, no-makeup love. Because if it’s not that kind and you break Sylvain’s heart…’ She took a step closer, fixing her fierce gaze on Allie’s. ‘I swear to God I’ll never forgive you.’
‘It’s that kind.’ Allie’s voice was ragged. ‘The ugly kind.’
Maybe Allie was imagining it, but it seemed like Katie’s face softened, just a little. Still, her response was cutting.
‘If it’s real love, I feel sorry for you. Because it’s going to hurt a lot of people. This kind of love leaves scars.’
A tear escaped and slipped down Allie’s cheek, but she didn’t reply.
There was nothing to say.
From the centre of the room, Zelazny’s harsh voice interrupted them. ‘All senior students: a five-mile run begins now. Junior students remain in the room, please.’
Relieved, Allie took a step towards the door, but Katie grabbed her arm, holding her back.
‘Allie…’ Her voice was low and urgent. ‘… be very careful how you handle this.’
The other students streamed past them towards the door. Rachel shot the two of them a curious glance as she passed. Across the room, Allie saw Sylvain turn back, his eyes scanning the crowd. Looking for her. As he always did.
‘Sylvain loves you,’ Katie whispered. ‘Ugly love.’ Her fingers were tight on Allie’s wrist.
‘This will demolish him.’
13
The conversation with Katie made everything worse. The next day, Allie could hardly look Sylvain in the face. Katie’s condemnation had left her feeling like a criminal.
Every time she passed her in the corridors, the redhead shot her a warning look. Sort this out, the look seemed to say.
But how the hell was she supposed to do that? With Carter missing and Sylvain utterly unaware of everything that had happened while he’d been away, Allie couldn’t see a way to handle this that didn’t end badly.
The only thing she could do was avoid the situation altogether.
As soon as her last lesson ended that afternoon, she tore up the stairs so fast her skirt fluttered around her legs from the breeze she created.
When she walked into Dom’s light-filled office, the faint sound of jazz swirled softly from hidden speakers. The room smelled of fresh coffee and Earl Grey tea.
Shak and another guard were working at the table. Isabelle and Raj were talking quietly in a corner.
‘Hi Allie,’ Dom said, looking up from her laptop. ‘What’s up?’
‘Any news?’ Allie asked, as she always did.
Dom shook her head, as she did every time. ‘Not yet. Hang tight, kiddo.’
Her pragmatic American sayings usually made Allie feel better. Today it made her want to cry. It must have shown on her face, because Dom got up from her desk and followed her across the room.
‘Look, Allie,’ she said, ‘this isn’t going to be fast, no matter what. It’s a big world out there, and we’ve got to find one seventeen-year-old boy in it. The people hiding him are very good at what they do. We will find him. But this could be a long slog. Nothing will happen overnight.’
‘I know,’ Allie said, biting her lip. ‘I just wish… it was faster.’ She glanced over to where Shak’s gaze was glued to his screen. ‘Look… I know my shift doesn’t start until eight. But I don’t have anything else to do right now. Do you want me to help out for a while?’
‘Sure. We can always use more ears.’ Dom waved at the table. ‘Grab some headphones.’
Rachel and Zoe walked in a few minutes later, as Allie was setting up.
‘Hey Allie.’ Rachel stopped beside her. ‘I thought you weren’t working in here until later.’
Ignoring them both, Zoe leaned over to see what Shak was working on.
‘Ooh,’ she said, staring at the incomprehensible code on his screen. ‘Awesome.’
‘I’m impatient,’ Allie said. ‘Overeager.’
There was truth in this explanation, and Rachel accepted it without question, but Allie felt a little bad about not telling her.
She knew it might seem like an odd decision to tell Katie the truth about Carter instead of her best friend. But Rachel would always find reasons to understand, to sympathise. Katie, on the other hand, would tell her the cold, hard truth.