“I hate her so much.” She popped the last of the sandwich in her mouth and peeled a banana. “I’m not used to hating somebody that passionately. I hope I get to see her turn to dust.”
The drawn, tight look to her features had eased, and a healthy flush of color banished the paleness from her golden skin. Squatting beside her, he opened the bag to look inside. There were more bottles of water, chocolate bars, a bag of granola mix, some single-portion packages of cheese, a couple more sandwiches wrapped in the distinctive paper of a well-known deli in San Francisco, another banana and a few apples.
“Look at that,” he said. “He really brought you good food.”
She said bitterly, “I guess this was supposed to be my reward for doing whatever he wanted.”
Julian met her gaze. Letting go of the bag, he stroked her hair off her face and pressed his lips to her forehead.
“I have such extreme, conflicting urges,” he murmured. “I still need to tear him limb from limb, but at the same, I also wish you could have gotten the chance to stake him twice. Because damn, Melly, now that I know you’re all right and my heart isn’t going to explode out of my chest, I can tell you, it was a mighty fine thing to witness what you did.”
Leaning against him, she sniffed. “I done good, didn’t I?”
“Yes, you did.” He laid his cheek on top of her head, and they rested together like that for a few minutes, without words of anger or pain spoiling the air between them.
There was, however, plenty of sexual tension. He would have to be truly dead not to notice the way her soft, plump breast felt as it pressed against his bare chest, or the way her fingers curled around his bicep as he stroked her hair.
But it was a tension he held under strong control. Not that long ago, she had been in tears, and he still had a pack of ferals to kill.
That left room for her words to come back to him.
I told you I wasn’t going to leave you.
No matter what you might think of me, or what anybody else might have said, I always keep my promises.
She had made promises to him before. Not forever promises or formal vows – they hadn’t gotten that far in their relationship – but still, she had said things that he had internalized and relied upon. And he had believed her when she had said them.
If keeping her promises meant so much to her, why hadn’t she kept those promises she had made to him then?
It felt excruciating to have Julian hold her, to kiss her on the forehead, to stroke her hair. Melly felt as if she were the one who was being staked, as a heavy nail of pain drove into her heart. Worse, she welcomed the pain, just so that she could feel his arms around her again.
Any moment now, she was going to get a spine and reject his overtures, but not just yet, not when he held her with such evident, overabundance of care, as if she were a person who had incalculable value to him.
Then she did something dumb. She closed her eyes and pretended the last twenty years had never happened, and that all of the emotions she felt for Julian were strong, bright, shining and true.
But she couldn’t maintain the pretense, because the twenty years had happened. She had become a different person. She was older, more cynical and guarded, and this powerful man who held her so gently, and treated her so kindly, was still the same bastard he had always been. A leopard did not change his spots. A battle-worn lion did not lose his scars.
Oh, soldier, how did we come to such a place?
With a shock, she realized she had murmured that aloud, as he whispered into her hair, “Damned if I know.”
Well there, she had a spine after all, because suddenly it decided to start working again. She stiffened and pulled out of his arms. “You need to feed,” she said abruptly. “Then while you go kill things, I’m going to eat a candy bar. After that, we’re going to waltz out of here. Got it?”
He had lines on either side of his mouth that deepened as he almost smiled. “Got it.”
She held out her wrist. He took her hand in his and held it, as he speared her with a hard, intent gaze.
“We need to get one thing straight, you and I,” he said, his voice soft and ruthless. “And we’re going to do it before I bite you, so we don’t have the bloodlust interfering with either of our thinking. I have every intention of taking you again. And taking you. I’m going to make you want it so bad, when I finally sink my cock in you, you’ll cry from the relief.”
She felt her eyes widen from shock. Once again, he knocked her breathless. Senseless. Her mouth worked, as her brain tried to sputter out something pithy enough with which to lambast him.
She had to lambast him. She had to drown out the teeny, tiny part of her that had clapped its hands and squeaked finally, yay!