chapter XIII
Sawtooth mountains of Idaho, present day
“LOOKS LIKE KIM’S OUT cold,” I said.
Michael looked over his shoulder. “No kidding,” he replied. “Maybe you should get her a drool cup.” He smiled wickedly in the dark.
I rolled my eyes. “That’s my Kim.”
“You think she’ll ever forgive me?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Yeah. In time. But she’ll fight it, make you think she’s still mad at you. Just how she is.”
“Good to know.” He paused. “What about you?” He cringed as he asked.
“Huh,” I said, “Michael, my forgiveness for you was total before I…before I drowned in the water.”
“What?” He looked genuinely surprised.
“It wasn’t hard to do. I was just looking up at you and saw you for who you are. It’s never hard when you can see things—see people for who they actually are.” I touched his shoulder. “You’re…I mean…” I was stumbling for words. “You’re amazing—but I’m a girl, and sometimes what I really believe and what I feel may not be the same. I know. It sounds crazy even to me, but it is what it is.”
Michael nodded as if he understood what I was saying. “About all this, the fight, the killing, and you…I want to fix it, to make it better.”
I wasn’t sure about any of that. Part of him honestly repulsed me when he acted like that. It was like when he just kept apologizing over and over. I just wanted him to get over it. “All right, dude,” I said, trying to change the mood a little bit. “Tell me something.”
“Uh-oh.”
“When did you know?”
“Know what?”
“That I was different; one of the—what do you call them?”
“Them? The Immortals.” He paused for a moment, eyes on the spray of light made by the headlights as we drove along the twisty two-lane road. “I was suspicious when you fainted at football practice. On our date, I put it together. The kidnapping too…pretty much gave you away.” He smiled.
I kept on. “And when did you decide to not kill me? To betray your father?”
Michael sighed. “I thought I would be able to clear my head when I left. You know, when I disappeared?”
“When Kreios let you go, you mean?”
“Sure. Stanley was furious, though. He got me to tell him where you were…but when he left to go after you…I knew that I couldn’t allow him to do what he wanted to do anymore. I had to resist him. On some level I knew that it would require force…I knew that there would be consequences. I just never knew how deep all of it would go.”
It was hard to hear him talk about it, but I needed to process. “Well, I’m…I’m sorry you had to kill him…”
“He was dead already, really.” Michael’s eyes were narrow, piercing the darkness as it came at us over the hood, smacking the windshield, rushing around the doors and swirling into and through the wheels as we sped on through it. “The Bloodstone took over his mind. It will eat you from the inside out. It’s just too much. Too much power.”
I reached out and found his hand. He interlaced his fingers with mine and everything felt right again. I could feel my pulse quicken with his heartbeat through his hand, as if we had the same heart.
I thought about asking how many people he had killed before me. But I didn’t. I wasn’t ready for what he might say, I decided. I didn’t know if I would ever be ready to hear that. “This is all so much. I don’t understand even what I am. I mean, I have pieces of the puzzle. But so much is dark. Hidden somewhere. I don’t know where to look.”
“Maybe it’s not important right now. I wish I had the answers. But I’m looking for my own answers too.” He was quiet for a moment. “Just remember that you’re special.” He squeezed my hand.
“It’s funny. I always wanted that, looking back. Though I never would have admitted it. I would have said to anyone who asked me that I only wanted to be real, normal, find my own way to fit into the world. And now that I am special…different…there’s no going back. And that’s real clear. It feels like all I want is whatever I can’t have. I just feel so unsafe.”
“I know exactly what you mean.”
“Really?”
“Totally,” he said.
“I guess I can see that. I mean, see how you could. You’ve been through a lot. We both have. You probably more than me.”
He was silent for a moment. “I know sometimes life makes you break your word. No one can say what they will or won’t do. Not with any guarantees.” He was silent again for a moment. “If I know anything, I know that most of the crap we’ve been fed is a total lie. You know, like you were talking about.”
“Like what? I bet you really want to tell me.” I smiled at him. I could tell he was getting riled up, that side of his personality I had seen so briefly on our first date.
“Well…okay, I know you well enough to know that you’ll appreciate this. Let’s just look at our cultural obsession with fame. That whole American Idol thing. I mean, the minute anyone shows the slightest talent for singing, and this is just a little for-instance here, but people always just assume if they have talent that automatically means they should be rich and famous. But that’s stupid. There’s all this pressure to do the impossible. I mean, whatever happened to singing a song just because you want to express a feeling, tell a story, enjoy doing something well?” He took a breath. “People just don’t think. They don’t realize what they give up to chase after stupid stuff.”
“How about you sing me a song right now, then?”
Michael grimaced.
“No?” I was enjoying making him squirm.
“Um…nope. I just love you. Do you believe me?” He looked at me with those eyes and I melted a little.
“I believe you. I do.” I was overwhelmed by my feelings again. “I mean, I tried so hard to turn my back to you, force myself to stop caring about you, but I just can’t! And I don’t care if…”
“If what?” he asked.
“What is it about you?” I said.
“Airel…”
“Okay, here it is. I don’t care if…if in the end it doesn’t work out like we planned.”
We were both quiet then.
“I mean, I just want to be with you, get to know you more. And if we end up one big fat mess, at least the ride will be fun. You gave up everything you ever knew for me. I mean…that’s true love, isn’t it?” I asked.
“Sure sounds like it to me.” He looked at me and squeezed my hand. He brought it to his lips and softly kissed me there, making me crazy. “Well,” he said, “Here’s to today.”
“And living in the now. Right now. Right?”
“Right,” he said.
“Deal. Sun Valley up ahead. Wanna stop?”
“Sure,” I said, looking at the clock on the radio and trying to breathe. “Almost midnight.”
“I guess we should get a midnight snack or something…but what’s open?”
“Maybe a convenience store?”
Michael pulled into a gas station and parked under the lights, shutting the engine off. “Man, that’s nice and quiet,” he said. He looked at me, mischief suddenly in his eyes. He turned back to Kim and shouted at the top of his lungs, “HEY, KIM!”
She jumped out of her seat, screaming, “Bogo! It’s Bogo! Bo…. Wh—where?”
Michael just laughed, slapping his thigh as he got out of the car and stretched.
I shook my head at him. “That’s real funny, funny man.” I turned to Kim. “Sorry, Kim. You can kill him later.”
She wiped the drool from her mouth and got out, mumbling.
Airel’s hand felt good. Michael could feel her heartbeat thrumming away through her fingers. He looked over at her as they browsed for plastic-encased foodstuffs—doughnuts, chips, chocolate, trail mix. Her skin was perfect. Smooth and beautiful. She was talking and the way her mouth moved made him want to stare at her and nothing else.
He looked back to the shelves of junk food.
The dark voice inside whispered again. He couldn’t tell what it said but it scared him enough just knowing it was there.
His scar throbbed. He wondered if it would ever heal. Was this his curse? Was he to carry the voice and the scar with him as a payment for his betrayals? He bent his head to stretch his neck, flexing, trying to make the knot between his shoulders go away.
“You wrote in her Book. They will come for you. This will not go unnoticed.”
“What are you thinking, Michael?” Airel said.
The sound of her voice made him melt. How did she have this power over him? He didn’t know exactly what to do with it, but a part of him desperately craved being wanted, needed, loved. He had never been loved before. “I guess I’m trying to figure out whether I want powdered or chocolate. You know, end-of-the-world-type decisions.”
“Hmm,” Airel said, “I’d say neither.”
“Neither?”
“Yeah, moron,” Kim said, walking up to them from the restroom. “Everybody knows she likes the cinnamon ones. Sheesh.” And with that she breezed on by, walking outside.
“She gets grouchy when she doesn’t sleep,” Airel said.
Michael was trying to figure the ins and outs of Airel’s friendship with Kim. But all he could do was shake his head and look back at the donut rack. “Well, I like the powdered ones.” He grabbed a little pack of pure white doughnuts. “And I guess we’ll just have to get a packet of cinnamon ones too.” He smiled at her. “But what’s Kim’s fave?”
“Hmm. Going for brownie points, huh?” Airel said. “Actually, she likes the cinnamon ones too.”
“Really?”
“Yep. It’s actually all that holds our friendship together.” She turned to head toward the register. She turned back slightly and said, “I could tell you wanted to know that.”
Michael dutifully grabbed another one and followed her to the front of the store. He sighed and felt that dark feeling again; the one that made the pit of his stomach ache and throb. It was the call of the demonic. The scar running through his midsection wanted him, wanted him to do horrible things.
“I love you, Airel,” he said in a whisper half to himself as he joined her at the cash register.
“I love you too, Michael, and I like saying it.” She took his hand and held it.
Michael blushed a little. “Me too.” Okay, Michael, get ahold of yourself. You need to figure out how to find Kreios. And you’d better have a plan for how you’re going to survive him once you find him.
Shortly all three were back in the black SUV and headed south. To I-84 west. And Boise.