“The next thing to learn is to discipline the mind to do things that are not natural for it, such as think on one thing to the exclusion of everything else, or not to think of something, which is quite hard once you’ve been told what it is. I can do those things most of the time, but now and again I feel like there are some forces inside my head, crashing about, demanding that I do things in a different way. It’s like there was something else happening in my head than what Kulgan told me to expect.
“Each time I try one of the simple spells Kulgan has taught me, like making an object move, or lifting myself off the ground, these things in my head come flooding in on my concentration, and I lose my control. I can’t even master the simplest spell.” Pug felt himself tremble, for this was the first chance he had had to speak about this to anyone besides Kulgan “Kulgan simply says to keep at it and not worry.” Nearing tears, he continued. “I have talent. Kulgan said he knew it from the first time we met, when I used the crystal. You’ve told me that I have talent. But I just can’t make the spells work the way they’re supposed to I get so confused by it all.”
“Pug,” said the priest, “magic has many properties, and we understand little of how it works, even those of us who practice it. In the temples we are taught that magic is a gift from the gods, and we accept that on faith. We do not understand how this can be so, but we do not question. Each order has its own province of magic, with no two quite alike. I am capable of magic that those who follow their orders are not. But none can say why.
“Magicians deal in a different sort of magic, and their practices are very different from our practices in the temples Much of what they do, we cannot. It is they who study the art of magic, seeking its nature and workings, but even they cannot explain how magic works. They only know how to work it, and pass that knowledge along to their students, as Kulgan is doing with you.”
“Trying to do with me, Father. I think he may have misjudged me.”
“I think not, Pug I have some knowledge of these things, and since you have become Kulgan’s pupil, I have felt the power growing in you Perhaps you will come to it late, as others have, but I am sure you will find the proper path.”
Pug was not comforted. He didn’t question the priest’s wisdom or his opinion, but he did feel he could be mistaken “I hope you’re right, Father. I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me.”
“I think I know what’s wrong,” came a voice from the door. Startled, Pug and Father Tully turned to see Kulgan standing in the doorway. His blue eyes were set in lines of concern, and his thick grey brows formed a V over the bridge of his nose. Neither Pug nor Tully had heard the door open. Kulgan hiked his long green robe and stepped into the room, leaving the door open.
“Come here, Pug,” said the magician with a small wave of his hand Pug went over to the magician, who placed both hands on his shoulders “Boys who sit in their rooms day after day worrying about why things don’t work make things not work. I am giving you the day for yourself. As it is Sixthday, there should be plenty of other boys to help you in whatever sort of trouble boys can find.” He smiled, and his pupil was filled with relief “You need a rest from study Now go.” So saying, he fetched a playful cuff to the boy’s head, sending him running down the stairs. Crossing over to the pallet, Kulgan lowered his heavy frame to it and looked at the priest. “Boys,” said Kulgan, shaking his head. “You hold a festival, give them a badge of craft, and suddenly they expect to be men. But they’re still boys, and no matter how hard they try, they still act like boys, not men.” He took out his pipe and began filling it “Magicians are considered young and inexperienced at thirty, but in all other crafts thirty would mark a man a journeyman or master, most likely readying his own son for the Choosing.” He put a taper to the coals still smouldering in Pug’s fire pot and lit his pipe.
Tully nodded. “I understand, Kulgan. The priesthood also is an old man’s calling. At Pug’s age I still had thirteen years of being an acolate before me.” The old priest leaned forward “Kulgan, what of the boy’s problem?”
“The boy’s right, you know,” Kulgan stated flatly. “There is no explanation for why he cannot perform the skills I’ve tried to teach. The things he can do with scrolls and devices amaze me. The boy has such gifts for these things, I would have wagered he had the makings of a magician of mighty arts. But this inability to use his inner powers . . .”