“Death,” George answered.
Ken turned white.
“Your actions can be construed as a prelude to sexual assault. It’s alarming that your alphas didn’t realize that, since it’s their job to know things like that and impress that understanding onto the members of their clan. Is forced mating common in Clan Wolf?”
The audience turned to look at the wolf alphas. Daniel startled. Jennifer clenched her teeth.
Ken showed all the desperation of a man trapped on a chunk of ice in the middle of a raging river.
“No.”
“So your alphas do not encourage rape, to the best of your knowledge?”
“No!”
“Very well. I’m ready to rule.” I looked at Sandra. “You may say something if you would like.”
She shook her head.
I looked at Ken. “You acted like an idiot and got eight bullets for your trouble. Count yourself lucky that she didn’t shoot you where it counted. If it had been me, I would’ve cut off your head and filed a police report after you were done bleeding out on my carpet. Suck it up, learn from it, and move on. You get nothing. Apologize to Sandra for scaring her and then causing her a load of embarrassment by having this matter dragged before the Pack assembly.”
He stared at her wild-eyed. “I’m sorry.”
“This proceeding is over.” I glanced at the wolf alphas. “Would the alphas of Clan Wolf please see me on their way out.”
The auditorium cleared in record time. I leaned back in my chair.
Daniel and Jennifer approached my desk.
Both of my boudas moved closer.
“Jezebel, Barabas, leave us,” I said. The fewer witnesses we had to this, the better.
Barabas reversed his course in midstep and went out the door. Jez hesitated, snarled something under her breath, and followed him out.
Just me, Jennifer, Daniel, and George.
“It’s been fun,” I said. “The game ends now.”
“What game?” Jennifer asked.
I shrugged. “You have three choices. First, you can quit fucking with me and walk away. Second, you can challenge me, and I’ll kill you. It would be good for me. I need the practice.”
Jennifer bared her teeth. Daniel put his hand on her forearm. I could take her alone. Both of them with magic down would be hard.
“Third, you can keep pestering me, in which case at the next Pack Council I’ll move for your removal. I can do that, can’t I, George?”
“Yes, you can,” George said with a big smile.
“On what grounds?” Jennifer snarled.
“Incompetence. I’ll cite this proceeding as evidence. This matter concerned two members of the wolf clan, which placed it under your authority. So either you didn’t know how to deal with it, or you didn’t want to deal with it, due to laziness or due to actively condoning rape. Either way, you should be removed and an investigation must be launched into the mating practices of the wolf clan.”
“They’ll find nothing,” Daniel said.
“Five hundred wolves, of which there are probably at least what, a hundred and fifty couples? How do you think they’ll react to having their mating rituals examined?”
“You can’t do that!” Jennifer spun to Daniel. “She can’t do that.”
“Technically, she can,” Daniel said. “It’s over, Jennifer. You can’t win this.”
Jennifer’s eyes went completely green. “What the hell would you even know about being an alpha?
You’re a human. The only reason you’re here is because you’re fucking Curran.”
Nice. “I don’t know much, but I’m learning fast.” I rose. “And I’m here because I killed twenty-two shapeshifters in two weeks. I’ve earned my place. How many challenges did you have, Jennifer? Oh, that’s right. None. Enlighten me, how did you become an alpha again?” I turned to Daniel. “Help me out here. Who was she fucking, Daniel? Was it you? It must be especially good for you, because that’s the only way you’d have gone along with this for so long.”
I barely saw Daniel move. One second he was standing there, loose, and the next he clamped Jennifer in a hug. It was a very careful hug—it looked gentle, but I could tell she couldn’t move an inch.
“We apologize for any offense to the Consort. We meant no disrespect,” he said.
“Apology accepted.”
“Stop talking like I’m not here,” Jennifer ground out.
“We look forward to working with you in the future,” Daniel said. “With your leave?”
“Please. Have a pleasant evening.”
Daniel moved, and Jennifer moved with him. Together they walked out of the auditorium.
I waited until the door closed and fell into my chair. George stared at me. “Oh my freaking God. I can’t believe she went that far.”
I closed my eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m tired. My knee is hurting again and I’m trying to teleport myself upstairs.”
“Um, Kate, you can’t do that.”
“I know. But I’m trying very hard. Let me know if I start fading?”
Sadly, teleporting didn’t work. I climbed the stairs, got into the shower, washed off the dirt and blood, and put on clean clothes.
The rooms felt empty without Curran. I stood in the doorway of the bedroom for a while and looked at the bed.
I didn’t want it all to turn out to be one big lie.
A small part of me wanted to leave. Just leave now, without any explanations and disappointments.
Disappear. That way if this was a lie, I’d never know.
But then I didn’t run from my challenges. I met them straight on and bashed my head against them, until it left me hurt, bloody, and dazed.
I hugged myself. When I was with Curran, he filled the empty space. If I was sad, he’d make me laugh.
If I was pissed off, he’d invite me to spar. I was forgetting what it was like to be on my own. And I was on my own. Aside from Roland, there wasn’t another human being this screwed up for thousands of miles.
If tomorrow I woke up and Roland waited on the Keep’s doorstep, I would die. Pretty quickly, too.
Evdokia was right. I had all the training with the sword I would ever need, but when my father and I met, the fight wouldn’t be decided by the sword. I needed magic training and a lot of it. And I had no idea how Curran would react to it. Hey, baby, you don’t mind if I practice turning a vampire inside out on the Keep’s grounds, do you? Please ignore the torturous screams of your people when things go horribly wrong.
It was one thing to know you had mated with Roland’s daughter. It was another thing entirely to have your nose rubbed in it.
Ultimately, I didn’t have to figure out whether Curran truly loved me. All I had to know was whether I loved him enough not to care why he was with me. I knew the answer. I just didn’t want to admit it. If he called right now, hurt, I would find him and save him, even if it cost me my life, whether he loved me or not. This was all sorts of screwed up.
No. I was wrong. If he was with me because he needed me to fight Roland, I had to leave. I couldn’t stay here, sleep next to him in this bed, touch him, kiss him, knowing that he didn’t truly love me but was bound by the need for survival. I would still love him, but I couldn’t stay. Had he laid it out for me from the start, before I had a chance to fall in love, I might have joined forces with him anyway. I wouldn’t have slept with Curran, but an alliance with the Pack would have strengthened me, and he and I might have gone for some sort of business arrangement. It was too late now. I wanted love or nothing.
I stole my pillow off the bed and curled up on the couch, wrapped in a spare blanket. Eventually he’d come home. Then we’d talk.