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I looked away. I had left a lot out. I had left out the part that explained that being with me meant being in danger, because my blood made me a target. Having sex with me meant sharing some of my magic.
Being with a normal person made me selfish, because I couldn’t protect them if I was found. Hell, I couldn’t protect myself if that happened.
Being with a powerful person made me stupid, because as soon as they figured out what I was, they would either kill me or try to use me to their advantage. I distinctly remembered the first time I realized this. His name was Derin. He was a wizard. I was seventeen and wanting very badly to jump into somebody’s bed. His bed looked pretty good. Years later looking back at it, I had to admit Derin wasn’t all that, but for my first time, well, it could’ve been worse.
And Greg did what any good guardian would do: he sat down with me and very gently explained to me why I could never see Derin again. A one-night stand in another town was the safest option for me. Hide your blood. Bide your time until you’re strong enough. Trust no one. I had known all of that, I just failed to realize the complete implications of it. My guardian had enlightened me. I hated him so much for it, I had agreed to enter the Order’s Academy just to get away from him.
The magic splashed us, strong, intoxicating. Curran’s hair shifted and grew another inch.
I knew exactly what drew me to him: if we fought—really fought—I wasn’t sure I could win. No, scratch that, I was sure I couldn’t win. He’d kill me. Wouldn’t even blink. He scared me, and the more scared I got, the louder my mouth became.
“Your turn,” I told him.
“What?”
“Your turn. I told you why I wanted them together. Now you tell me why you want them apart.”
Jealousy, pride, love, all good enough reasons for an egomaniac like you. Take your pick.
He sighed. “She’s weak and he’s a selfish asshole. He’ll use her. She’s making a mistake.”
I didn’t expect that. “But it’s her mistake to make.”
“I know. I keep waiting for her to recognize she’s making one.”
I shook my head. “Curran, she begged the ex-girlfriend of her fiancé to arrange her wedding. If she’s willing to humiliate herself in that manner, she’ll do anything for Crest’s sake. She doesn’t seem like a person who handles pressure well. If you keep delaying the wedding, you’ll just drive her to suicide again.”
“You saw the scars?”
I nodded. “People must make their own choices, no matter how wrong those choices are. Otherwise they can’t be free.”
A careful knock echoed through the room.
“Enter,” Curran called.
A young man stuck his head into the door. “It’s awake.”