THE PHONE SCREAMED. I CLAWED MY EYES OPEN. Twelve minutes after 2 a.m. I had gotten in about two hours ago—Teddy Jo wanted to chat, and while we chatted, the magic crashed. It took me forever to get home, and my skull hummed like someone was beating a kettle drum between my ears.
I yawned and picked up the phone. “Kate Daniels.”
“That was a custom weight bench!” Curran snarled.
My voice dripped bewildered innocence. “I’m sorry?”
“You welded the press bar to my bench.”
“Perhaps it would help if you started at the beginning. I take it someone broke into your private exercise facility in the Keep?”
“You! It was you. Your scent is all over the bench.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why would I vandalize your bench press?” Think, Curran. Think, you idiot.
A lion roar burst through the phone. I held it away from my ear until he was done. “Very scary. I feel it’s my duty to remind you that threatening a member of law enforcement is punishable by law. If you would like to file a petition regarding your breakin, the Order will gladly look into the matter for you.”
The phone fell silent. Oh God, I gave him an aneurysm.
Curran made an odd noise, halfway between a snarl and a purr. “There is catnip all over my bed.”
I know, I dumped my entire supply on your comforter. It was a hell of a bed, too, enormous, piled with thick mattresses until it was almost four feet tall. I had to literally climb onto it.
“Catnip? How peculiar. Perhaps you should speak to your head of housekeeping.”
“I have to kill you,” Curran said, his voice oddly calm. “That’s the only reasonable solution.”
Apparently, I had to spell it out. “There’s no need to be so dramatic. I understand that having someone enter your extremely well-guarded private territory, wreak havoc in it, and then escape, unscathed, can be quite upsetting.”
He said nothing. He didn’t get it. I treated him to a pass on his terms and he didn’t get it. I had just made a fool of myself again.
“You know what, never mind. You’re dense like a rock.” I’d chased him as he had chased me and he couldn’t even figure it out.
“I’m leaving the catnip where it is,” he said. “You will remove every piece of it. And you’ll do it naked.”
“Only in your dreams.” And I meant it, too.
“Of course you know this means war.”
“Whatever.” I hung up and exhaled.
The attack poodle gave me a bewildered look.
“I’m in love with an idiot.”
The dog turned his head to the side.
“Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut.”
The poodle whined softly.
“I don’t need any criticism from you. If you can go a day without barfing or destroying my house, then I might listen to what you have to say. Until then, keep your opinions to yourself.”
I fell back into my bed and put a pillow on my head. I’d just had a conversation with a poodle and accused him of criticizing me. Curran had finally driven me out of my mind.