TWENTY-SIX
Restraint
Harper had been missing so much work lately that she picked up a Saturday at the library. That meant she wasn’t able to take Gemma for their usual visit out to Briar Ridge to see their mom. Harper had told Gemma how it had gone last week, so Gemma knew she couldn’t miss this week, lest Nathalie have some kind of breakdown. Besides that, she wanted to see her mom.
After much discussion, Brian finally relented and agreed to let Alex take Gemma. Her car still wasn’t working, and Brian thought Gemma would be less likely to run off again if she had a chaperone.
Ordinarily, Gemma would’ve been mad that Brian was still avoiding Nathalie. It’d been years since he’d last seen her, and that drove Gemma nuts. But today she was happy to be able to spend some time alone with Alex.
Since she’d been back in Capri, she’d hardly been able to see him, except for when Harper let him come over. Brian had her on lockdown, and while she understood his reasons, it was still driving her crazy not to be able to see Alex.
On the car ride to Nathalie’s group home, Alex and Gemma hardly spoke, but she was content just to hold his hand and be with him. Sometimes he’d just look at her and smile, and that was enough.
When they pulled in the driveway, Alex had barely turned off the car before Nathalie came running out of the house, waving her arms like a madwoman.
“Gemma?” Nathalie was yelling, and Gemma got out of the car as quickly as she could.
“Mom?” Gemma said. “Is everything okay?”
As soon as Nathalie saw Gemma, she froze. She put her hands to her face and let out a loud sob. Then she ran to her daughter and nearly knocked Gemma down when she threw her arms around her.
“I missed you so much,” Nathalie said, crushing Gemma to her. “I was so worried about you.”
“I’m okay, Mom,” Gemma said, her voice coming out in small grunts since Nathalie was hugging her so forcefully. “I missed you, too.”
“Nathalie?” Becky, one of Nathalie’s staff, had come out of the group home and was waving her back in. “Why don’t you and your guests come inside and visit?”
Nathalie finally released Gemma. “Do you want to go in the house? Should we go in?”
“Sure,” Gemma said. “That sounds great, Mom. Do you remember Alex?”
“Alex?” Nathalie’s face scrunched up in confusion. “Is that your father?”
“No, Mom, it’s not. That’s Alex.” Gemma motioned to where Alex stood next to the car. He’d gotten out after they parked, but Nathalie had been so focused on Gemma that she hadn’t even noticed him.
“No, I don’t know him.” Nathalie shook her head, then looked sadly at her daughter. “Should I?”
“Probably not,” Gemma said. “It’s been a really long time since you met him.”
Alex had moved in next door to them about a year before Nathalie’s accident. He’d been over to their house a number of times before she got hurt, and he’d even been over during her brief attempt at living at home after the accident.
But considering that Nathalie couldn’t remember her own husband anymore, it wasn’t surprising that she’d forgotten the boy next door.
“Hello, Mrs. Fisher.” Alex walked over to her and shook her hand. “It’s so nice to see you again.”
“Call me Nathalie.” She smiled at him and looped an arm around her daughter’s shoulders. As they walked toward the house, she whispered loudly, “He’s so cute, Gemma!”
“He sure is,” Gemma agreed, and Alex laughed nervously as he followed them inside.
The visit went really well, as far as visits with Nathalie went. She was very hyper, but she was in a good mood. She seemed especially excited to see Gemma, hugging her many times. Once or twice she got a little overly affectionate with Alex, hanging on him or holding his hand. Alex handled it well, and when Gemma reminded Nathalie that Alex was her boyfriend, Nathalie stopped what she was doing.
Nathalie even took a run at braiding Gemma’s hair. Unfortunately, Nathalie wasn’t so great at fine motor skills anymore, so it turned into a knotty mess. It was incredibly painful to endure as Nathalie yanked on her hair, but Gemma smiled through it.
When Gemma and Alex left, her hair was still tied up in a messy “braid.”
“How bad is it?” Gemma asked on the drive back home.
“It’s really … it’s really something.” Alex smirked as he glanced over at her.
“Thanks.” Gemma laughed and flipped down the visor mirror so she could admire it herself. “I think it’s sweet that she tried to do it. She hasn’t attempted to do my hair since I was about seven.”
“And you can pull it off. Not many other girls could wear a rat’s nest, but on you it works.”
“Too bad it hurts like heck.” Gemma flipped her visor back up and started pulling at the tangles and knots, trying to undo them. “I have to take this out before I get a migraine.”
“So when we get back to Capri, you just want to go home?” Alex asked.
“Dad said I’m supposed to,” Gemma said. “But he didn’t tell me what time I had to be home. So maybe we could go out to the cliff?”
Alex grinned. “Sounds good to me.”
In another age, the cliff might have been called “Makeout Point” or something silly like that. It had a wonderful view of Anthemusa Bay, and it was rather secluded, surrounded by cypress trees and loblolly pines.
Alex pulled up the gravel path that wound through the trees and parked as close to the edge of the cliff as he could. Gemma had finally gotten her hair free of the mess her mom had put it in, and she got out of the car, letting the wind blow through her hair.
“It’s a beautiful day,” Alex said, getting out of the car after her.
“It sure is.” Gemma walked to the edge of the cliff and sat down, letting her legs dangle over it. “Come on.” She patted the dirt next to her. “Sit by me.”
When he sat down, he moved more carefully than Gemma and eyed the waves crashing against the face of the cliff warily. He slipped off his shoes before dangling his legs over the edge. Once he was settled, he took Gemma’s hand, holding it gently in his.
From this vantage point, they could see the entire bay. Closest to them were the docks where her father worked, large barges pushed up to the pier. Farther out, there were rows and rows of personal boats, some of them huge yachts and some boats even smaller than Daniel’s.
The public beach was full of people. It was a gorgeous day, and a holiday weekend, so it was packed. Red, white, and blue decorations were hung up anywhere there was room along the beach.
Where the soft sand along the coast started giving way to sharp rocks, the crowds disappeared. The rocks led up to a cypress forest, the same forest where Alex and Harper had found the bodies a few weeks ago. A thick belt of trees wound all the way to the cove, which sat almost directly across from the cliff where Gemma and Alex were.
Then, a few miles away from the cove, sitting by itself in the ocean, was Bernie’s Island.
“My dad’s renting out the island to Daniel,” Gemma said.
“Really?” Alex said. “That’s cool. Right?”
Gemma nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” She paused. “I guess Daniel is Harper’s boyfriend now.”
“Wow,” Alex said.
“I know, right?” She smiled. “I think they’re cute together, but I kinda never thought Harper would ever date. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah, I do,” Alex agreed.
“But I’m glad she is,” Gemma said. “It makes me feel better about all of this. Now I know that no matter what happens, she won’t be alone.”
“Gemma.” Alex squeezed her hand. “Don’t talk like that. We’ll find a way to keep you safe.”
“But what if we can’t?” Gemma turned to face him, pulling one knee up to her chest. “Or … what if we shouldn’t?”
“What do you mean?” Alex asked. His dark eyes were full of concern and confusion, and Gemma didn’t know how to answer him.
Seeing the trees where Alex and Harper had found Luke and the other boys reminded her of how horrible Alex had looked afterward. And Gemma didn’t need any reminders about how she’d killed Jason. She was waking up from nightmares about it every night.
She’d been trying so hard to pretend that everything was fine, to forget the horrible things she’d done, the creature she’d become, and just enjoy the moment she was in. With the full moon approaching in a matter of weeks, there was a very real chance that Gemma might not live to see it.
Sitting here with Alex, Gemma found it hard to swallow back her current thoughts. They needed to find a way to kill the sirens, definitely, but only if the sirens came for her. And maybe they never would. Maybe they would just replace her instead, letting her die alone and away from them.
Either the sirens would come for her and they would probably all die in the fight, or she would die before they did. With options like that, Gemma had begun to accept her own death, which was feeling more and more inevitable. She was attempting to make peace with it, and wanted to relish what time she had left with the people she loved.
“Gemma?” Alex put his hand on her knee and leaned toward her. “What’s wrong? What are you thinking?”
There was no way she could look into his eyes. She couldn’t tell him what was really bothering her—that she was a murderer, and the best-case scenario was that she would be dead soon.
Gemma lowered her eyes. “There’s something I should tell you.”
“You can tell me anything,” Alex said.
“I know, and I…” She swallowed hard, and she accidentally looked up at him. That’s what did it. As soon as she looked in his eyes, she lost all her nerve, and she blurted out, “I kissed someone else.”
“What?” Alex’s face twisted in confusion, and his eyes flashed darkly, so Gemma hurried to explain. She didn’t know why she thought confessing that she’d kissed Sawyer would be the way to go. Clearly she’d panicked.
“It was an accident. No, I mean…” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “It wasn’t an accident. I didn’t like him, though. I didn’t want to kiss him. It was … a siren compulsion thing. But almost as soon as I kissed him, I stopped. I didn’t want to hurt you. And I’ll never do it again.”
“It was a siren thing?” Alex asked.
“Yeah,” Gemma said sheepishly. “That sounds like a cop-out. But for, like, five seconds, I wasn’t in control of my body. This weird … urge took over me, and I kissed this guy. But then I took back control of myself, and that was it. It meant nothing. I never would’ve done it if I wasn’t a siren. But I thought I should tell you. And I’ll understand if you hate me.”
“Hate you?” Alex actually laughed at that. “Gemma, I could never hate you.”
“Oh, I’m sure you could.” She forced a smile at him and was surprised to find tears brimming in her eyes. “There are things I could do that would make anyone hate me.”
“No, Gemma, listen to me.” He moved to face her completely, so he had to kneel in front of her, and he took both her hands in his. “There’s nothing you can ever do that would make me stop caring about you.”
“Alex, you don’t know…” She trailed off, because if she kept talking, she would cry, and she didn’t want to cry.
“I have known you for years,” Alex said. “You’ve always been kind, considerate, smart, determined, and stubborn. You have a good heart, and you’d never let anybody change you. That’s part of why I fell in love with you.”
“What if I can’t stop it, though?” Gemma asked, wiping at her eyes. “What if the sirens are making me evil, and I can’t control it?”
“You can,” Alex insisted. “You’re too strong and too stubborn. You can fight this. We will beat them. Together. I promise you that, Gemma.”
“You really think so?”
He nodded. “Yes, of course I do.”
“And you’ve really fallen in love with me?” Gemma asked, and Alex smiled at that.
“You think I would’ve spent a week searching for you if I didn’t?” he asked.
She laughed a little. “No, I don’t suppose you would.”
“I love you, Gemma,” he said softly.
“I love you, too.”
She leaned forward, kissing him fully on the mouth, and wondered how much longer she’d be able to do that.