That was without a doubt the most overused phrase in any Alpha’s repertoire, and it sounded strange coming from Jace. As if he didn’t really believe what he was saying. But further argument would do me no good, so I sucked in a deep breath and made myself meet his gaze. “Fine. Give me ten minutes.” Then I turned and headed back to the dorm without another glance at him. No matter how badly I wanted to know if he was watching me walk away.
What had happened on fall break wasn’t Jace’s fault. If I’d told him I was leaving campus, as I was technically obliged to do, he would have sent a pair of enforcers—probably my own brothers—to watch out for me, hidden in the trees in feline form. I’d kept Jace out of the loop because I didn’t want to be watched, and he had probably caught hell from the other council members for letting one of the country’s few and precious tabbies put herself in mortal danger.
But he must have taken full responsibility for what I’d done, because no one had yelled at me for my lapse in judgment. Not even my parents, during our bi-monthly video chat.
I owed Jace, even beyond the normal respect due an Alpha from one of his pride members, and paying him back with insolence was unacceptable.
In our dorm room, Robyn finally turned away from the window to watch me throw clothes into my duffel. “You’re leaving? Now?”
“My dad wants me to come home for Christmas.” I threw my toothbrush, its charger, and a nearly empty tube of toothpaste into my toiletries bag on top of the small, square box I hadn’t unpacked after my previous trip home. Then I scooped my makeup into the bag with one swipe of the counter. “Will you be okay here on your own?” Since she was staying on campus over the holiday, we wouldn’t have to pack up all our stuff and vacate the dorm room, a convenience I hadn’t truly appreciated until that moment.
“Yeah. The nightmares are practically gone. I’m fine, Abby. Really.”
I studied her in the mirror, trying to decide whether or not that was true. She had few physical scars from what had gone down in the woods over fall break, and those bastards hadn’t gotten the chance to molest her. Still, she’d seen three of our friends slaughtered right in front of her, and most people weren’t used to witnessing violence or death, up close and personal.
More than anything in the world, I wished I wasn’t either.
“Okay. Knowing my parents, I’ll probably be gone for most of the break, but I can come back sooner if you need me.” I pulled her into a hug. Robyn had been through so much in the woods, and no matter how fine she claimed to be, I knew better than most how long that kind of trauma could take to overcome. If she was staying over the holiday, I should be staying with her. Reluctantly, I let her go. “Call if you want to talk. Okay?”
“I promise.” She smiled at me in the mirror. “Now go have Christmas with your family.”
Christmas with my family.
My mother would hover over me and analyze everything I said for evidence that I hadn’t recovered from that summer four years before. My father would watch me out of the corner of his eye and not so subtly mention what an accomplished enforcer Brian had become, looking for any sign that I was ready to settle down and turn my parents into grandparents.
My brothers would follow me into town so I couldn’t get snatched off the street during any last-minute Christmas shopping, and they’d mentally dismember any guy who had the balls to even look my way, in spite of my large fraternal guard detail.
Going home for Christmas sounded about as pleasant as Thanksgiving spent in prison.
On the bright side, there’d probably be ham.
“So, what’s the big emergency?” I threw my duffel onto the rear floorboard, then slid into the passenger’s seat of Jace’s SUV. His gaze landed on my thighs, where my skirt had ridden up, and the sudden jump in his pulse was…gratifying.
He’d seen me naked—and I him—a million times, but nudity means little to most shifters because it’s required for the transformation to and from feline form. Shifters are aroused by what they don’t see. What they almost see. By the intent implied by flesh displayed behind or beneath strategically placed panels of lace or silk. Flesh that is put on display in private, for a specific intended audience.
Jace had never looked at me like that before. As if he wondered what my underwear looked like. As if I might be something other than a child in need of protection.
I desperately didn’t want Jace to think of me as a child. I was old enough to hold his attention. I was old enough to warrant his attention.
Wait.
I shook my head, jarring loose dangerous thoughts and foolish desires. An Alpha held an authority equivalent to a corporate manager, a parent, and a ruler all rolled into one, and even if dating an authority figure wasn’t completely inappropriate, Jace was too old for me. Too experienced for me.
And then there was Brian.
Not that any of that mattered. One glance south of my neck didn’t mean Jace was actually interested. It just meant he was a guy.
I shifted in my seat and Jace’s gaze snapped up to my face. He looked flustered for a moment, then he stared straight out the windshield and made an obvious, concerted effort to slow his pulse.
I decided to call that a compliment, even if it didn’t really mean anything.