Or maybe not.
The betrayal shining in his eyes bruised me all the way to my soul. I’d destroyed whatever trust he’d had in me, and that electrifying warmth his gaze had taken on recently? I’d totally killed that.
Not that that part mattered. I was going to marry Brian, even if his wasn’t the face I saw when I closed my eyes or the voice that whispered my name in my dreams.
So then, why did the new chill in Jace’s eyes sting like an ice dagger shoved straight through my heart?
Faythe sank onto the living room couch next to me, holding two bowls of chili. She moved gracefully in spite of the change to her center of gravity, and under any other circumstances, I would have asked if I could feel the baby move. I’d felt little Greg when she was pregnant with him, and that had been like laying my hand over a miracle.
Or over that incubating gut-monster from Alien.
Faythe handed me one of the bowls. She’d ringed the inside edge with a row of corn chips and had topped the whole thing with a layer of shredded cheddar.
“Thanks.” I scooped up a bite of chili with one of the chips, then chewed slowly so I couldn’t answer the question she obviously wanted to ask. For a while, we ate in silence except for the crunching, and I listened to the buzz of various conversations from the rest of the house, where the other Alphas and enforcers had gathered in small groups to talk about…well, me.
Jace’s was the only voice I didn’t hear. He’d gone for a walk in the woods.
“So,” Faythe said when she’d eaten the last of her corn chips, “what was that all about?”
I pushed a bean around in my bowl with my spoon. “You’re the last person I expected to criticize my career choice.”
Her right brow rose, and I lowered my gaze in a gesture of apology. I’d managed to piss off three Alphas in the span of an hour. I might have assumed that was some kind of record, if I hadn’t known Faythe when she was a teenager.
“I’m not criticizing. In fact, I think you’ll make a great enforcer.” She scooped up a bite of chili with her spoon. “But you had no intention of becoming one until half an hour ago, and we both know it.”
“Actually, I’ve been considering accepting Jace’s offer after I graduate.”
She studied me for a moment, looking past that partial-truth for the whole story. “When were you going to tell Brian? And your parents?”
I shrugged. “It didn’t feel fair to upset everyone before I’d made up my mind.”
“But it felt fair to spring it on everyone during a council meeting?”
“No, that just kind of happened.” I stared into my bowl. The chili smelled amazing, but my appetite had fled. All I could think about was the look of betrayal on Jace’s face.
“So, why the sudden rush to do it today instead of next June?”
I scraped cheese from the side of my bowl with my spoon while I considered my answer. The whole truth wasn’t an option, and my best chance for getting away with the necessary lie was to keep it close to the truth. Though that didn’t really assuage my guilt for being less than honest with her.
If there was anyone I wished I could confide in, other than Jace, it was Faythe.
“It’s this case,” I said while she chewed. “The murders. If I wait until this summer, that’ll all be over, and I’ll just wind up patrolling the territory on foot with Chase or Teo.”
“And that sounds boring to you?”
Not really. I looked forward to any excuse to prowl in cat form. There weren’t many chances for that at school. But it was too late to back out of the lie now, so I shrugged. “Yeah.”
Faythe looked disappointed. “Abby, is the excitement of a murder investigation really worth quitting school? I mean, even if things are dull in June, that won’t last long. It never does, unfortunately.”
“I know, but—”
“And even if you start tomorrow, you’ll only be in training. Jace isn’t going to give you much involvement in something this dangerous as a rookie. Especially since…” She shrugged, leaving me to my own conclusion.
“Since I forced his hand?” I desperately wished I’d realized what I needed to do in time to give him a private heads up, but truthfully, that was only one of the do-overs the universe continued to deny me.
Faythe nodded. “I’m not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed that you know exactly what you just did to him.”
“Yeah, me neither. As many lessons as I’ve learned the hard way, you’d think I’d be a little wiser.”
Faythe exhaled slowly. “What’s wrong, Abby?” She set her empty bowl on an end table and twisted on the couch to face me, folding one leg beneath the other. “What’s this really about?”