“Maryanne,” she said, smiling. “Marian.”
A warm rush swept through my body. I’d never heard my given name sound so beautiful, so lovely before. “Maryanne,” I whispered. I touched her cheek, and she blinked but kept staring.
“She likes you,” she told me. “Do you want to hold her?”
I nodded, earnest.
She handed her to me, and it were easier to take her than yesterday. My hands were still a little sore, but I didn’t mind the soft weight. She wriggled a bit and settled into me, shutting her eyes again.
“It’s strange,” Bess said with a sigh, leaning back. “To see you as a noble lady, and with a baby. A year ago I wouldn’t have known such a thing could happen with Will Scarlet, the village rascal.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I wasn’t a rascal.”
“You had a lot of ladies sighing after you. The lot of you did. Everyone fancied they were in love with one of you.” She laughed. “I remember telling Ellie at Tuck’s that I thought Robin must have been of the wicked sort, the way he looked at you.”
I laughed too. “Easy to say that now! Rob and I couldn’t tell how we felt about each other; how could you?”
She shook her head. “Do you remember that night when Gisbourne came to Tuck’s, and he was looking for you lot?”
“When he killed that boy,” I said soft.
“And nearly killed Much,” she breathed. “And you shot up into the trees like a squirrel and Rob were on the ground. He were right near me and he looked—” She shook her head. “That look, I’ve never seen the like of it. I was sure that he loved you then, boy or not. You can’t look like that at someone—worry about someone like that—without loving them true.”
I sighed. “He does love me. I just don’t know if that will ever be enough for us.”
“What do you mean?”
My shoulders lifted, and Maryanne opened her mouth and shut it. “John were the first one who told me love isn’t enough. You have to choose that person, over and over again, every day. And Rob—we don’t choose each other first, not like John chose you. John put you above everything else. And I don’t know that Rob and I will ever do that.” I shivered. “I don’t know that I can do that.”
She smiled. “John told me that. It was what finally got me to agree to marry him—he told me he’d choose me, every day. Of all the women he’d ever been with, he’d choose me. Day after day. Moment after moment.” She shook her head. “But the bad things—you don’t choose those, Scarlet. You deal with them. And if I’ve only ever listened to one moment of everything Much has ever said, you two make each other strong. Strong enough to make choices that the rest of us can’t make.”
“What if we had a family?” I whispered, looking at Maryanne.
Her hand fell on my knee. “Then maybe we would get the chance to protect you,” she told me.
I left her when Maryanne slept, and Bess wanted to sleep as well. I shut my eyes as I closed the door, trying to hold on to the feelings that I had while I had that baby in my arms, to tie them round my heart in some secret way.
“My lady,” someone called.
I opened my eyes to see one of the Nottingham knights there. He were tall, red bearded, and without his armor. “Yes?” I asked.
“There’s a problem in the forest, my lady,” he said. “I was told to fetch you.”
“The forest?” I asked, frowning and going with him. “Do we need horses?”
“It’s just beyond the city gates, my lady,” he said, bowing his head. “I don’t believe so, unless you would prefer.”
“No, we can walk,” I said. “Take me there, please.”
He bowed his head again. “My lady.”
We walked through the main street, and I smiled at him. “I know you’ve just arrived,” I told him. “But I’ve seen how dedicated you are. You and your fellows must have cleared four houses yesterday.”
He didn’t look at me. “It’s my duty, my lady. I’m happy to serve.”
I nodded. “Still. I want you to know your service matters, and that it’s appreciated. Most knights I’ve met are not so hardworking.”
He looked at me for a moment and nodded. “Thank you,” he said.
I saw Rob, meeting his eyes as I walked past. He smiled, and I smiled too, following the knight.
We were almost at the gate when I saw Essex coming in. I frowned. “What’s wrong?” I asked him.
He frowned back, looking at me and looking behind him. “What do you mean?”
I glanced at the knight. “I was told there was a problem in the forest.”
“If there is, I don’t know of it. Do you want my aid?”
“Certainly—” I started.
“It’s for your eyes only, my lady,” the knight said.
“What exactly is the matter?” Essex demanded, scowling at my knight.
“It’s a woman,” the knight said. “From the village. A woman . . . problem.”
“Oh, good Lord,” I muttered. “Is someone else having a baby?”