Jacob said nothing as he took another bite of jerky, staring off into the distance. The air finally started to feel a bit cooler, which was a welcome change. There was no breeze, however, which would have been better. The eerie silence remained. This was the first time they wondered if the total lack of nature’s songs would affect their sanity. It was just so unnatural! They sprawled down on the ground, trying not to think about it, not to think of any of it, but it was no use, as Morcel’s face drifted through their thoughts. There were no comforting dreams for anyone.
After a few hours’ rest filled with unsettling images dancing through their thoughts, it was time to move yet again. They repacked the bags with the little they had taken out and set off once more. Jade took position at the front without saying a word as the men fell back a bit to give her some space. She didn’t seem any less angry than before, and they saw no reason to make it worse.
Eric and Jacob continued on in complete silence as they kept watch in all directions, not trusting this forest one bit. The routine stayed intact for the next two days straight. They would stop a few times a day just to rest while Jade generally swiped a sack full of rations and slipped away to lean against the nearest tree. Jacob would still sit with Eric, but it was always silent, as their unspoken thoughts and worries remained so.
Even though they hadn’t known Morcel that long, they had considered him a friend. The fact that he had given his life for a cause not of his own haunted everyone—especially Eric, who continued to replay Jade’s words in his head. He knew she was right, of course. Many had sacrificed themselves for him, and all he did was question their motives. The truth in her words seared through him like fire as his guilt became a close a companion.
The evening camps were no different than the daily breaks that had become more and more frequent. Jade would sit alone against a nearby tree while the two boys sat together and ate quietly. Jacob wanted so badly to try and reassure his friend, to tell him everything was going to be fine; that Jade would snap out of this soon and it would be like nothing had ever happened. But as positive as Jacob was nearly all the time, he just couldn’t do it. He could see no silver lining here.
Jacob could always brighten a room with his wit and flashy smile. He was just being himself, which rubbed off on those around him. This, however, was just different. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t sure everything was going to be OK. He started to feel more like Eric had rubbed off on him.
The general mood had reached its lowest point. The boys no longer walked side by side. Jacob took up the rear. Everyone wanted their own space as the seemingly hopeless journey continued on.
Eric had finally come to a decision. He walked faster to share space with Jade. They needed to talk. He walked beside her for a time, but she looked the other way, trying to pretend he wasn’t there. She never so much as looked at him, but didn’t chase him off either. “So how much longer is this going to continue?” Eric mumbled as he played the same game, looking everywhere but at her. She finally spared him a glance as they continued down the leaf-covered path. “Look, I don’t know what happened back there. I didn’t want him to give up his life so recklessly for a cause not of his own. But he made a choice, and whether or not I agree with it, he made it!”
Eric aggressively grabbed Jade by the shoulder and spun her around so they were face to face. He saw the startled look in her eyes, but he continued anyway. This needed to be said. “He made a choice. ‘I’ never had that luxury! My life was once normal and good. I had a father!” he winced even as the words came out. “I never wanted any of this. It was forced on me!” He began shaking her as anger flooded through him. “And you— you had even less of a choice. Taken away as a baby with no memory of ever being loved. Forced to train like a savage every single day for a cause you never even bothered to question. Whipped like a dog! Did you think I didn’t see the scars on your back that you’ve been trying to hide all this time?”
He stopped shaking her as the blind rage subsided in an instant. Just now he seemed to realize for the first time what he had been saying, had been doing. He jerked his hands away as if Jade were made of hot coals. By then Jacob had run up and tried to step in between them.
Eric stared at his own hands in disbelief, as if they had acted on their own. Forcing himself to look up at Jade was nearly unbearable. Tears streamed down her cheeks as disbelief and pain filled her eyes. He wished he could crawl into a hole after cutting her so deep. “Jade,” he said as his own eyes began to tear up. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to—”
Thsssssssssp!