“Well, we wouldn’t be having heart-to-hearts in the kitchen if you hadn’t been avoiding him all week.” Her voice was calm and sweet, but her words still cut through me like a knife.
“You told me to!” I could feel myself getting hysterical. “You told me to go make other friends and start cutting Ryland out of my life.”
“I was wrong.” She spoke so softly I barely heard her.
“What?” I asked.
“I was wrong.”
My head spun; my heart stopped beating. Was she saying what I thought she was saying? I didn’t even dare to hope. My mind swirled in a steady beat of confusion.
“I don’t understand,” I admitted.
“It was something Ryland said the other day. I don’t know; it just made sense.” She paused and I waited. I watched her in eager anticipation as she chewed her pizza.
“Oh, come on, Mom,” I whined when I couldn’t wait anymore. “Explain, please.”
“Okay. He told me he has had to fight his father for everything he has ever wanted, and ever gotten. Nothing has ever been handed to him, with the exception of money, of course. But with all his fighting and bartering, he has never been happy. And he would give up everything just to be happy and live the way he wants to live. It made me realize how wrong I was to dictate your happiness. When I told you to stay away from Ryland, I had your best interest at heart, but I don’t think that staying away from him can make you happy.” She paused. “I was wrong for that; I apologize. Can you forgive me?”
I nodded.
“But what about Timothy and his threats?” I whispered.
“I just got spooked, Joclyn. He can’t do anything to me,” she said, leaning forward over the table like she was telling me a secret.
“I guess that’s right,” I said.
“Besides, if he does fire me, I won’t have any trouble finding a job. I’ve already received about four offers.” She laughed and I joined in, although I wasn’t laughing at her job hunting success; I laughed at my new opportunities.
I wasn’t sure if this made everything easier or more complicated, but right at that moment, I didn’t care. I could decide for myself. I could kiss him, he could kiss me, or I could tell him to stay away from me forever. My heart soared away in endless joy. I wanted to run into his arms right at that moment. I wanted every single body-crushing fantasy to come true. At the moment, though, we still had manicures to complete.
I don’t think I had talked to my mother so much in my whole life. I told her everything. With the odd permission I had just received, I didn’t need to hold anything back. I told her how I felt about Ryland and how he made me feel when I was near him. I sighed as I explained the look he always got when he thought about something difficult. I cringed as I retold the story of the first time I came in contact with Timothy, a story she had never heard before.
I didn’t have to lie. I didn’t have to hide. My mom listened and laughed and sighed in all the right places. And when my toenails and fingernails were painted a shocking shade of pink and hers a bright yellow, we both began to cry as I thanked her for giving me such a wonderful, entertaining life and for letting me be who I wanted to be. It was a little bit of an odd thing to say, but it felt right, and so I didn’t hold back.
Before I knew it, I had texted Ry to announce my arrival, and I sat in the car, waiting for him to make it out of the kitchen door in front of us. I couldn’t back out now; the time with Ryland had come—the time I had been half-dreading and half-anticipating. Now, with my mother’s blessing, I needed only anticipate. I didn’t even care about Edmund and his opinion. There was only one thing for me to work out: was it worth risking a relationship in the possibility of finding true love? As he stepped out of the kitchen door, dark curls hanging low on his smiling face, my answer was clear. Yes. Yes, it was.
Fourteen
Ryland stepped away from the kitchen door and right to the passenger side door. He opened it, letting the evening air and the fragrance of the rose bushes waft into the car. He leaned right in, his body hovering close to mine, so he could talk to my mom.
“Thanks for driving her here, Mrs. D.”
“No problem, Ryland. Just make sure to have her home by midnight.”
“You have my word. Home by midnight. Not harmed, scratched, or beaten. Perfect condition only.” He held his hand up in the Boy Scout salute like he was making a vow to her then moved his head further in, stopping my progress out of the car.
“Oh, and, Mrs. Despain, thanks for everything.” Ryland leaned even further into the car and pulled my mom to him, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. Her eyes grew wide before she registered what was happening and returned the hug.