A slight shake of my head. “We were so foolish.”
A quiet grunt. “Yes, we were.” His nostrils flared, green eyes still meeting mine. “It’s truly remarkable two people such as us let this happen.”
My smile was icy. “It happened because we weren’t the same people as we are now.” I rested my head against the couch. “Before the mind rape. Before this war. Before our experiences made us who we are now.”
“That wasn’t quite what I meant, even if also correct.” He lifted his boots onto the table and began running his hand lightly up and down Isa’s back again. “My point was, I can tell we are both of like mind in intelligence and duplicity, and we were that way even before the mind rape.” He stared at his hand’s movements. “The videos showed that plainly enough.” He kissed Isa’s tiny, soft head. “It’s hard to imagine we were irrational enough to get caught.”
I watched his actions with her, practically feeling his love for her vibrating through the air, even if his features were still hard. I breathed softly, again feeling jealous and worried about his potential for wreaking havoc with my relationship with my daughter, but I found myself saying, “I’m pretty sure I put up a fight when the punishment occurred, and possibly you, too.”
Green eyes snapped to mine. He stayed silent. Waiting for me to continue.
I lifted a portion of the grey t-shirt I was wearing where the material was still darker than normal even after so many cleanings, the blood staining it. I pointed at it, fingering the soft cotton. “I was wearing this when I first woke after the mind rape. I had bled on it and it still held the barest scent of one man.” I dropped the material and peered back up to him.
He stared at the small bloodstain. “Was the scent the same as mine?” His eyes lifted, unblinkingly gazing at me.
My lips pinched for a moment before I stopped the action, because there was something else in his gaze I couldn’t quite decipher. I analyzed him slowly, trying to figure out the meaning. I scented the air slightly as he waited, and gradually saw his agitation begin to grow the longer I took in answering him.
My lips lifted condescendingly when I figured it out, even if he was just as brilliant as me at masking his expression. “To be honest with you, the scent was so faint by then I couldn’t tell you if it was yours or not.” I paused, debating being ornery, then decided to be decent with him in the hope it would pay off where Isa was concerned. “You can calm down. I’m an extremely loyal individual when it comes to those I care about, which I’m sure was no different before my mind rape. I’ve also been — unknowingly — faithful to you since then.” It was truly unbelievable to know that this man, who loathed me just as much as I did him, could still be possessive where I, his wife, was concerned. “Sex has been the farthest thing from my mind.”
His nostrils flared at my words; he was obviously irritated I had figured him out, but after a few silent ticks, he rumbled, “I haven’t been with anyone either since the mind rape.” Truth. Amazingly, he unflinchingly held my gaze giving up that information, which I could tell from his tone it pained him to admit. “I wasn’t in the right place mentally.” He inhaled heavily and exhaled slowly, Isa rising and falling on his chest with the motion.
I nodded once, understanding the issue completely. “Well, now that we know neither of us has gotten laid since we were together last,” my eyebrows rose in an effort to lighten this topic and move along, “I think we should come to an agreement on what we were discussing before the Elders left.” I bent over the arm of the couch to the diaper bag there, seeing Isa was beginning to drool on King Zeller’s chest where his white silk shirt parted, wetting his mocha skin.
I pulled a clean burping rag from the bag, and stood to bend over her. Tilting her face gently, I dabbed at the wetness on his chest, stating, “I don’t see why we can’t come to some sort of an agreement on the knowledge you have of the Mage Elders.” I wiped Isa’s cheek and mouth before placing the blanket under her head and spreading it so it covered his skin before resting her head back against his chest. I pulled the blanket where it bunched a bit by her mouth, a paranoid mother’s instincts riding me as I made sure her airways weren’t blocked by the fabric. “And I could…try…to not put up too much of a fuss with you spending time with her.” Satisfied with the blanket’s placement, I lifted my head to him, saying, “It’s going to take some getting used to…” I trailed off, realizing just how close I was to him, my attention no longer on Isa. Fuck, my neck had been exposed for the taking while I had been concentrating on Isa’s needs.
I blinked, seeing where his attention was. Down the large-necked opening of my/his t-shirt. He was blatantly staring at my breasts.