I did as told, lying on the bed, not bothering to tell her I still had my powers, so the silver excuse wasn’t viable. The exam needed to be done anyway. Feeling cold and bereft, I stared at the ceiling, while Antonio hovered, as Bindi started at my head, her hands glowing. Slowly and methodically she moved her hands over me, an inch away from my skin, leaving not one area untouched as she moved down over my shoulders, each arm, breasts, rib cage, and stomach. But when she got to my lower abdomen she froze, her hand hovering and then glowing brighter. Her body trembled, before her face blanked completely. In a monotone voice, she said, “I’ll need to do that internal exam, Queen Ruckler.” She licked her lips. “It’s not a shard of silver. You are, indeed, pregnant. I can feel the baby’s pulse, beating so faintly I’m positive even a Vampire wouldn’t be able to hear it yet, but it’s strong.”
In that instant, at the verification, something splintered inside my soul. If I thought I had been cold before, this was the arctic that slipped into my veins, uncontrollable as I stared at the tent’s shimmering ceiling.
I’d had sex with someone.
I couldn’t remember him.
Even that memory stolen from me.
So now I was having a stranger’s baby, when I didn’t even like brats to begin with, having spent time in King Cave babysitting the tiny monsters. Why had I babysat? I couldn’t remember, or even begin to guess why I had every other day stepped foot in a nursery when I loathed it so much. But peculiarly I…placing a hand over my flat lower stomach…yes, I wanted this stranger’s child.
My child. I definitely wanted it, and I didn’t have to remember anything to know that was all my own current knowledge. The baby was mine.
Eyes unblinking and my brows puckered, my thoughts began to coil as I began feeling nauseous again.
Why…
It didn’t make sense.
Why the hell would those memories have been taken from me?
A crime yes, but sex with someone?
No, that didn’t make sense.
I blinked as if waking from a dream, a new snaking coldness rushing through my veins.
Unless…
I lifted my right hand, and gently slid off the ring on my thumb. The one I stared at every night, wondering what it meant. I scrutinized it in a different light. Black and red. I blinked slowly, remembering there had once been a scent on the man’s grey t-shirt I wore to bed. The one I wore right now.
Abruptly, a cold tear trickled down my icy cheek.
I now understood the symbolic nature of the ring.
Black and red. Vampire.
Air left me, my gaze flying to my stomach, as realization dawned, only to demolish like morose obscurity, ripping away any real clarity because the possibilities were endless within the Vampire faction. I was mind raped because I’d had sex with a Vampire. Law 6002, one of the newest.
Breathless, I shook my head, letting it fall back on the pillow. My breathing hiccupped repeatedly. Someone had fucked with my mind because of who I’d had sex with. I placed the ring in front of my blurry eyes, tilting it to read the inscription as I had done a million times.
It read: The Beauty Is Found.
The Vampire must have loved me, just as I must have loved him — I wore his ring — for both of us to have risked something so dear as losing stages of time, our past. My mind. This was enough to make anyone go insane, and I sure as hell was already halfway there.
Yet we had done it anyway. Because of love. For some mysterious ‘Beauty’ that I remembered nothing of. And now, I was paying the consequences for an experience that was as much an enigma as mermaids were in fairytales, living my life alone in the glacial reality and pregnant with no knowledge of who the father was.
“Queen Ruckler!” Bindi shouted loudly. “Can you hear me?”
Having a pretty good indication she and Antonio had both been trying to get my attention for some time, both wearing identical expressions of worry as they hovered in front of my face, I slipped the ring back onto my thumb, one of the only clues to my memory loss, and asked with a voice that could have inflicted frostbite, “Can either of you tell me where the hell the beauty is in this? Because I sure as fuck would like to know.” At their confused silence, I shook my head hard, a cold shudder racking my body as I turned on my side, curling up, and stared at the ring. “I want to know who the father is.”
Neither of them said a word. Didn’t move, in fact.
“Still you two hold your silence,” my frigid gaze met Antonio’s, “and still you do nothing.” I snorted, my gaze returning to the ring. “There is something you could do, Antonio.”
Instant. “What is it?”
“I’ll need you to put a permanent spell on me, so no Vampires can hear the baby’s heartbeat, and when I start to show, you’ll need to modify my appearance for everyone else.” I twirled the ring. “I’m going to keep this child, but I sure as fuck am not giving up going into battle because I’m pregnant. Killing Coms is the only joy I have left, and I won’t have that taken away, too.”
Bindi made an odd noise in her throat, and then finally stated, “You need to think of the baby, since you’ve decided to have it, and literally fighting in a war is not healthy for it.” She paused, her voice garbled. “Besides, I haven’t done my internal examination, and I might yet find an indication that states you shouldn’t be up and moving around, much less fighting.”