Tears burned the edges of his eyes and carved a path down his cheeks.
Knowing the sight of her distracted him from his main purpose, he reluctantly blocked her out, focusing his entire energy on her captor. Images blurred and raced chaotically through his mind. Caleb’s view of the inside of the killer’s mind was a view of insanity. Utter derangement. Evil emanated from him in waves.
His head ached vilely but he pressed on, determined not to give up until he knew where Ramie was being held. He’d free her if it was the last thing he did, and then he’d get as far away from her as possible. Never would she live in fear of him again.
The barrage of images abruptly stopped and silence blanketed the pathway between Caleb and Ramie’s tormentor. Caleb floated, detached from the immediate surroundings of a maniac. He leaned forward, anticipation making him eager.
Caleb had managed to push through into the killer’s subconscious. He was in.
He absorbed the knowledge as if they were actual memories of his and not the killer’s. It was an eerily spooky sensation to be inside the head of another, to see the world as they saw it.
His head popped back, pain snapping him back to himself. Back to Eliza, Dane and Beau, who all stood staring while Eliza popped him again in the face to get his attention.
“Snap out of it!” Eliza yelled. “Get your ass back here and tell us where to find Ramie.”
The edges of his consciousness began to fade and grow dark. He panicked for a moment because back there was where Ramie was and he didn’t want to leave her alone. She had to be terrified, no hope of anyone coming for her after what Caleb had done to her.
He closed his eyes as grief consumed him once more. He swayed, nearly toppling over as he opened his eyes to see the others all standing around him.
He stared bleakly up at Eliza, his chest so tight he couldn’t breathe. When he tried to speak, he choked on the words, bile rising up his throat.
Tears slipped unheeded down his cheeks. Eliza’s gaze was as grief stricken as his own.
“I hurt her,” Caleb whispered. “I did this to her. How can I ever get past something like this? I don’t deserve to go unpunished. I hurt her. She deserves justice.”
“She does, indeed,” Eliza said quietly. “And that’s why we’re going to give her justice by going after that son of a bitch and taking him down once and for all.”
Caleb struggled to his feet and then blurted out where the killer—and Ramie—were located. Eliza gently pushed him down onto one of the sofas. “It’s probably best if you don’t come.”
Caleb shot to his feet again. “The fuck I’m staying here! Ramie is mine. I love her. And I can’t for one minute let her continue to think that I did this to her! That it was me who handed her over to a psychopath.”
“I understand,” Eliza said in a placating tone. “But you have to see it from Ramie’s perspective. If we go in and rescue her and she sees you, there’s no telling how she’ll react. She’s already damaged enough. Seeing you right now would likely crush her.”
“I can’t stay here and do nothing,” Caleb seethed. “Not when she’s out there dying an agonizing death. Because of me,” he said bleakly. “Because of me.”
His words ended in a whisper and he lifted his haunted gaze to Eliza, Dane and his brother. “I put her where she is right now. It seems all I’m capable of is hurting her. First Tori’s captor and all I forced her to endure so Tori would be saved and now I hand her over, bloodied from wounds I inflicted. How is she ever to believe I love her? Or that I’d never do something so horrific? How can I even believe it myself? Do you know how it feels to watch yourself do the unthinkable to someone you love and be absolutely powerless to stop it?”
Eliza’s expression softened, and a glint of sympathy flashed in her eyes. Beau’s face was a wreath of torment as he watched his brother completely break down.
Caleb didn’t bother to wipe the tears away. “I have to go. I can’t stay here. I can’t allow her to think even for a moment that I wouldn’t come for her.”
Eliza looked clearly torn but Dane shook his head at her. “Think if it were someone you loved, Lizzie. You wouldn’t stay back no matter what.”
Eliza sighed. “No, you’re right. I wouldn’t.”
“Then let’s get the hell out of here,” Caleb said in a tortured voice. “You can call the police for backup on the way, but I have to get to her first because they’re going to arrest me on sight. And I’m not waiting on them before we go in and take this guy out. He signed his death warrant when he used me to hurt the woman I love.”
THIRTY-SIX