“It doesn’t matter. It was your choice to make.” His eyes, that sometimes burned so hot, were cold as he said it.
“But it’s not what you think I should’ve done. Admit it.” I could see it there in his face, and I needed to hear it. “I can handle the truth but respect me enough to say it to me. I don’t need to be handled with kid gloves.”
“I would’ve let her die.”
That hadn’t taken much prodding. “Why?”
“Does it matter?”
“To me it does.”
He didn’t speak and I thought he wasn’t going to explain. We paused within view of the boat, he finally said, “Because I couldn’t let anyone have that much control over me.”
I’d expected something along the lines of sacrificing one for the greater good.
“You would’ve let her die because of your control hang up?”
“No. Not because of my hang up, because of what could happen if they did ever have control over me. It could’ve been much worse than arming him with a few more people. Like so many other things, it’s all in the numbers. Kitty’s life wasn’t worth the possible damage. No one’s life is worth that many, no matter who.”
It had been what I’d thought after all. I got it. In the larger scheme of things—as a whole—it made sense. But standing there, being the one that had to walk away and let the single one die, I wasn’t built that way and probably never would be.
The fact that he would make the same choice if I were the single life … . That was why I needed to keep my distance. Because if it had been him, I wouldn’t have ever given up.
“And what exactly are you that would be so lethal? I highly doubt you were ever supposed to be human. You finally going to tell me?”
“Depends. What are you willing to pay for the information?” He smiled.
I faked a smile in return, trying to forget what his earlier words had meant, that he would sacrifice anyone including myself if that was what it took to save the whole. I wouldn’t. Justified or not, it caused a hurt somewhere deep within. Seemed even if I didn’t acknowledge how I felt about him, it didn’t stop the feeling of it.
“There it is,” I said, motioning towards the large yacht I remembered. The door I’d crashed through had new glass and lights were shining inside.
“Do you want me to do it?” Fate asked as we got to the ladder that would lead us up to my target.
“No. I saved him; I should kill him.”
He paused with hand on a rung. “It’ll be easier for me.”
He had no nerves. He was calmer than the water in this inlet, gently swaying the boats to and fro as if they were rocking a baby to sleep.
“I know. But it still has to be me.”
He wasn’t human; he never had been, and I doubted he ever would be. The idea that he would be capable of having a relationship with me was ludicrous.
Even watching him now, I could feel something potent growing. Preparing for obstacles, it replaced the flirting Fate, who had just resided in his place, with a more ruthless creature.
We were so different on the most fundamental level. It was pointless to pine for something that could never be. I’d fallen into this position by some crazy twist of luck. I’d do my time, see if I could get Paddy to spring me early for good behavior, and go back to a normal human life. There was something animalistic in Fate that took to this life. The two of us would be like a bunny and a wolf mating. Even if I were to become the most vicious bunny in the warren, it just didn’t work. We were different animals.
“You ready?” he said, but I could tell he was wondering what had made me pause.
“Yeah,” I said as I nodded, trying to shake off my thoughts and get my head back in the game.
He nodded and started to climb up onto the deck. I took a deep breath and followed after him, thinking of how sturdy the ladder was this time around. The Universe really didn’t like when you messed with its plans. Now that I was trying to correct them, it seemed much more magnanimous to my presence here.
We hit the deck and crossed to the door, then made our way into the lavish interior of the boat. A guy walked into the room and stopped short, clearly startled to find us standing there. I recognized him immediately. It was the man that would’ve shot his partner. I wished he were the one I needed to kill. Pulling the trigger would’ve been a lot easier.
“You!” he said, looking directly at me.
“Where’s your partner?” Fate asked.
The guy threw his hands up. “I don’t know what beef he had with you people but I don’t want any trouble. He’s gone. I know he was involved in some shady things but I just want you all to go away.”
“Gone where?”
“He’s dead.”
I advanced on the guy, ready to bang his head into the wall until I got the truth. “Dead? Why didn’t I see an obituary?” I’d done extensive research and nothing I’d found had led me to believe Malokin had got to him already.
“He disappeared a couple of weeks ago. They declared him today.”
The guy was sweating bullets, and I was starting to believe his story. I’d known my target was missing but I’d thought that he was hiding on the boat. “Fate?” I asked.
“On it,” he said, pulling out his phone and checking. Only a couple of seconds elapsed before he confirmed the information. “Yep, declared today.”
I turned toward Fate, not caring if the guy took off anymore and knowing my reflexes were quick enough to stop an attack from a single human, back turned or not. “Let’s go. Nothing left to do here.”
“Would it make you feel better to kill him?” Fate asked, pointing to the guy.
I watched the potential target’s back as he ran from the room. I waved my hand to let him go when Fate raised his eyebrows. “No. I wanted to kill my target.”
He walked over and patted me on the shoulder in a slightly mocking way. “It’s okay. There’ll be other murders.”
“I know. It’s just so disappointing.” I’d really thought this one would be a slam-dunk.
“Come on, I’ll buy you an ice cream.”
Chapter Seven
The Honda spluttered like it was on life support as we pulled out of the parking lot. The disappointment was so thick that I was having a hard time keeping it contained.
“I think we need to focus more on Malokin. These names on your bucket list mean little to nothing.”
I knew what he was trying to accomplish but it didn’t make me feel any better. “Maybe by themselves they don’t but as a whole, they can’t be helping the situation.”
“It’s more important to locate Malokin.”
Frustration and disappointment warred within me, and I wanted to bang my forehead into the cracked vinyl of the steering wheel. It did always come down to finding him, slippery eel that he was. I’d hunted him down before. Malokin didn’t get found until he wanted to.
“Turn left over here,” Fate said, pointing.
“Why? What’s down there?”
“You losing your memory? Ice cream.”
“I thought you were kidding. I really don’t want any.” Ice cream would sit like cement in my stomach the way I was feeling.
“I want it.”
I turned my head toward him. “You don’t eat it.”
“I do once in a while.”
“What, once every century?”
“No, once a decade or so.”
The sound of my phone vibrating in the middle console filled the car. We both looked down. It was ringing but no number came up on the caller ID. That could only mean one thing. Maybe he was coming to us.
I hit speaker on the phone. “Malokin.”
His voice was as smooth and genteel as ever as he spoke. “I’d like to offer you a proposition.”
Propositions from Malokin never leaned in my favor. “Which is?”
“I’d like to discuss it in person tomorrow night.”
“She won’t be coming alone,” Fate added making his presence known.
“Didn’t expect her to.” And from the sound of his voice, he really hadn’t.
Malokin rattled off a time and place before hanging up abruptly.
I let the shock of what had just happened filter slowly into my system for a minute before I spoke. “I’m not sure how I feel about that. Why would he agree to meet us when I’m sure he knows we want to kill him?”
Fate threw his hands up as I passed the ice cream stand. “Where are you going?”