Karma Box Set (Karma 0.5-4)

Something had felt off with me pretty soon after Paddy had taken a piece of him and somehow forced it into me. It was supposed to keep me connected, let me move on from this place someday and reconnect the link Malokin had broken. That little bit of Paddy, which was inside me, was the equivalent of my retirement plan. Without it I’d be stuck here, on Earth, forever.

I guessed there was an argument to be made for remaining on Earth, never aging, eternally young when you didn’t know what your retirement home might look like. Fate’s guys had chosen it. Lars, Bic, Angus and Cutty—none of them would move on from this world. This was it for them, and that was exactly how they wanted it. Plenty of people would want it.

But I didn’t. I’d made the choice. I wanted to know what lay beyond this realm, even if only for a short while before I was doomed to forget it all and walk the Earth again as a mortal. As much as I’d been mocked for once being human, there was a value to it that someone who isn’t a transfer couldn’t possibly understand.

Maybe the day-to-day minutiae of being human didn’t seem appealing to my current co-workers but they couldn’t possibly understand how much joy the simple things can bring. What it felt like to win my first case or go to the movies with a boy for the first time. The human experience was loaded with things that made your endorphins sing. I wanted to experience this place as a human again one day with all that it entailed.

But it looked like there was going to be a price to pay. This part of Paddy in me, the part that gave me the chance to go on and live another life, it was doing more than just keeping me in touch. I could easily have rationalized the pain away as my body adjusting to a foreign part if I hadn’t felt other things happening. Lying still on the bed, I could feel it spreading through me. It was too crazy to say aloud but I couldn’t shake the feeling.

Dr. Hamil had been my family’s doctor since I’d been a toddler. I still knew his number. Too bad I couldn’t call it, shoot in for a quick X-ray, get a script and be good to go in a week.

I closed my eyes, trying to go back to sleep, but I just lay there, trying to think about anything other than what might be going on within me.

I went into the bathroom, downed what pain medications I had left in the medicine cabinet, and made a mental note to stop at the drug store tomorrow.

***

I rapped my knuckles on the open office door even though I knew Harold was aware of me standing there. He didn’t look up so I kept knocking and knocking. I could’ve walked in and sat in front of him, but somehow, forcing him to acknowledge me and utter an invitation was far more entertaining. My current frustrations needed some sort of outlet.

After a solid minute of knocking, he finally looked up. “Come. In.” His lips barely moved as he spoke, and I realized perhaps he’d missed his true calling as a ventriloquist. Hell, even his hair—as bright red and bushy as it was—would look perfect on a dummy. I’d never seen such a color occur naturally. There had to be some better career for him other than running this place.

I bit my tongue, holding back the lyrics from The Heat Miser, but failed somewhat as the melody slipped out in a hum. I smiled in greeting and walked in gingerly, taking the seat in front of his desk. His forehead had become one continuous wave of wrinkles. I should’ve known instinctively he’d recognize that song. They’d probably modeled the character after him.

Still, somewhere deep down, so far down I wasn’t sure I could find it anymore, I was still a southern girl. There were manners in here somewhere. I really needed to try and shake the dust off them and let them see daylight once in a while. “I think it would be nice if we had a little chat.” Smile, don’t forget the big smile. I put so much umph into it my cheeks hurt.

“Can I avoid it?” His droll monotone had my face muscles burning in rebellion. Harold was about as far from my side of the Mason-Dixon Line as he could get.

I’m sorry, Mama, wherever you are right now, but good manners are a total waste on him. I sucked air in through my teeth, most likely ruining the smiling effect but making a dramatic show of considering his question. Hanging on by a single raised pinky, I shrugged and said, “No.”

The sound of skateboards skidding across linoleum stopped me from continuing. The Jinxes were here and I was probably one of the only people happy about it. But when the shit had hit the fan, they’d been there for me. Were they rude, obnoxious and all sorts of undesirable? Yes. Downright repulsive? On occasion. They were the pariahs of the office and they embraced the position, but they’d become my little pariahs.

They entered the office seconds later. I held my fist up, knowing them well at this point, and they each cruised by in a line and fist bumped me as they found their places.

“Why are you three here?” Harold’s voice, always nasal, seemed to be hitting a new whine with the question. “Did she request your presence? Because I didn’t.”

“We don’t need a request. We’re her posse, douchebag.” The Jinxes were the antithesis of southern but as welcome as sweet tea on a hot summer day.

Bobby pulled up the chair that had been tucked in the corner, sat down and then kicked his sneakers up onto Harold’s desk. It was reminiscent of a move I myself had made not long ago, except my shoes hadn’t been caked with dirt in the treads, which now fell like sprinkles of love onto Harold’s never-ending paperwork. Oh, the charm of the Jinxes. Three pre-pubescent looking packages with more swagger than James Dean in his prime and more experience on the job than I could claim. I wasn’t sure how old they really were, but looks were deceiving and never more so than with them.

I tilted my head toward the door and, right on cue, Billy went over and slammed it shut. Buddy remained behind me, his small arms crossed over his chest as if he were my personal bodyguard.

Harold stared at the dirt on his desk and then me, his eyelids drooping ever so slightly more than usual. “What do you want? Let’s get this shit over with.”

I crossed my legs, repositioning my summer dress in supremely ladylike fashion. “I informed you not long ago, as have others, that we’ve got a problem.”

“And what do you want from me?”

“Something. Anything. The world out there is on the brink of falling apart and you sit here and do nothing.” I folded my hands on my lap, trying to remain composed. I didn’t want to encourage the Jinxes by turning into a raging lunatic. Their social graces were hanging on by the barest thread. One bad example could propel them into a black hole of social uncouthness they might never recover from.

“You’re being dramatic.” He lowered his head and returned to scribbling away at whatever useless notes he made.

This had been my last ditch effort to try and recruit Harold to my way of thinking. Hell, the whole office’s way of thinking. It would’ve been nice to have him on board for once but it wasn’t a necessity.

I stood, applauding myself for not contributing to the further demise of the Jinxes’ downfall in social skills, and walked out of there with the three of them trailing me.

“Why are we leaving? He ain’t doing nothin’ still,” Bobby complained as we left.

“It’s called rising above.” Memories of my mother’s voice, telling me a lady rose above the fracas, whispered in my ear like a bittersweet memory. I’d always thought that one day I’d be teaching my own children lessons like that.

Bobby elbowed Billy with a saucy grin on his face. “I want to rise above some people, just not that dweeb. I think we should sink real low, where it’s nice and comfy, and kick him in the teeth, if you ask me. This manners crap is bullshit. We look like a bunch of pansies letting him disrespect us like that.”

I looked at the three of them tagging behind me and wondered how many people had decided not to have children after meeting them. “Don’t worry, boys, you haven’t risen very far. I’d say you’re knee level at best.”

Donna Augustine's books