“Okay.”
She’s thrown Lucy’s book into the great outdoors, but without a second thought, she picks up her own book and carries it back to her rooms.
*
Ivy has kindly returned the jailbird umbrella to Jane’s worktable. When Jane walks into her morning room, Glitter Lucy catches the hot light in a pleasant, humming sort of way.
The umbrella wants Jane to go to it. It’s singing to her. She feels this, and she wants this too. She goes and presses her palm flat over Glitter Lucy’s image. Song shoots up her arm to the top of her spine. The glue is dry, but when Jane looks into her palm, small particles of glitter stick to her skin like jewels.
She lifts the umbrella by its handle and carries it to the sofa where Ravi slept only this morning. Propping the umbrella up, Jane sits under it and opens her book. Jasper whines, so she lifts him onto the sofa, where he nestles against her leg, still whining.
This time, Jane opens to the story “In Which Eeyore Loses a Tail and Pooh Finds One.” Eeyore, the gray donkey, misplaces his tail in the forest. Pooh goes to Owl for help brainstorming what to do. As usual, Owl turns out to have little to contribute besides bluster, but he does have a new bellpull, which captures Pooh’s attention. Oh, that? I came across it in the Forest, Owl says. In a moment of cleverness, Pooh realizes that Owl’s new bellpull is Eeyore’s missing tail.
In the story Jane remembers reading with Aunt Magnolia, Pooh brings Eeyore’s tail victoriously back to Eeyore. Christopher Robin, with great gentleness, fixes it back in place on Eeyore’s rump. End of story.
In the story Jane is reading, Owl pops Pooh’s nose off his face and hangs it up as a doorbell. Then he takes Rabbit’s ears and makes sashes for the curtains. Then he takes Piglet’s head and hangs it on his wall and instructs it to call out the time regularly like a cuckoo clock, though mostly Piglet just cries, because he’s frightened and wants his body back. This story fascinates Jane. But Jasper keeps trying to climb into her lap and knock the book out of her hands or knock the umbrella out from behind her. He’s flailing around like a basset hound who’s drowning, actually, and when he starts trying to close his teeth around Jane’s arm, she shouts his name. “Jasper! If you make any more holes in me, I’m going to lock you in the closet!”
Jasper keeps his mouth wrapped around Jane’s arm, but doesn’t bite. He stares up at her with reproachful eyes. Then, with an expression of tremulous hurt, he plunks down, goes into the bedroom, and finds some corner in which to whimper in solitude.
Something about this pricks Jane. She’s just spoken cruelly to the dog. Shame, she thinks. Pushing to her feet, she sways, unbalanced. She can hear the dog crying. My goodness, how sleepy she is.
She manages to make it to her bed, still clutching her book. Patches of the pale red paint on the wall behind the headboard are peeling, the wall beneath it, purple and wounded-looking. “Gross,” says Jane. Jasper comes out of his corner and dances around her feet, wanting to be picked up. She reaches down, scoops the dog up, and deposits him on the blankets.
“I’m sorry I said that thing about the closet, fuzzball,” she says.
Then her head touches the pillows and she’s asleep.
*
She’s dreaming of a house with an internal gash, like a circus performer who’s swallowed a sword and punctured his own stomach. The gash is an opening to another world. Whenever anyone passes through, stretching the opening, tearing its edges, the house screams in agony.
The screams of the house wake her. There are words to the screams, but she’s sweating and shaking and too trapped in the space between sleeping and waking to make them out. She kicks Jasper by accident—he’s under the covers at her feet. He grumbles and crawls up to where she can hold him.
“Jasper,” she whispers, having a moment of pure clarity. “I don’t like this house.”
Well. She’s awake now. The clock reads 5:08 a.m., but there’s no point trying to fall back to sleep. Lying in bed shivering until the sun rises doesn’t strike her as an appealing alternative, because the house is laughing all around her. Someone, somewhere, is laughing in the walls, and something needs to be done.
“I hate this house,” Jane tells Jasper, steel in her voice. Damn Aunt Magnolia and the promise she’d exacted from Jane to come to this house. Why would she do that? Jane wonders. Damn Aunt Magnolia for her easy courage, for the things that had never scared her. Not bull sharks, not poisonous squids, not giant clams. Not the weight of the ocean’s water pressing down on her, not the numbing cold. Damn Aunt Magnolia for going out into the cold, for not knowing, for not being more scared. Who in their right mind ever goes to Antarctica? Jane scrabbles around in the bed for Aunt Magnolia’s scratchy wool hat and holds it to her face, willing herself not to cry. Her knee touches the awful book. She pushes it over the edge so it thuds to the floor.
After a number of deep, jellyfish breaths, Jane pulls Aunt Magnolia’s hat onto her own head. “Jasper?” she says. “Come for a walk?”
Jane steps into the cold corridor, wearing a hoodie over her Doctor Who pajamas, happy for her slippers and Aunt Magnolia’s hat. She clutches its long tassels for security. The tiny lights on the walls that illuminate each painting flash on and off again as she walks, throwing Jasper and her into grotesque, shifting shadow. Of course she forgets Captain Polepants and almost breaks her neck.
She wishes the house would stop making breathy noises. Then she questions her logic and wishes it were easier to tell where the breathy noises are coming from. She expects they’re coming from herself.
Jasper gives Jane anxious, exhausted looks, but she doesn’t notice. Her feet take her down to the second story, then around the atrium and through an entrance that leads straight onto the library’s second-story level.
Jane is startled to hear the quiet voices of Octavian and Ravi just below. She can’t see them, because they’re under the balcony she’s on, but she can tell from their easy tone that they’ve stopped arguing. She breathes the smell of Octavian’s pipe. A strange, scratchy noise is hard to place, until Jane realizes it’s the record player, which has finished its record and been left to turn, endlessly playing nothing.
“I think the books change color while I’m not looking,” Octavian is saying.
“I think you need to get out of this house once a day and take a walk in the sun while breathing fresh air,” Ravi says, trying to sound amused, but only sounding tired, Jane thinks. “Remember when you used to travel, Dad? You loved to travel.”
“I’ll ask Ivy-bean to take pictures of the books from hour to hour,” says Octavian. “I’ll show you. You’ll see. The shapes on the ceiling change too.”
“Yeah, okay,” says Ravi. “I never thought I’d hear myself saying this, but right now I feel like Mum is the only member of the family with a grip on reality.”
“Shall we listen to it again?”
“Are you trying to kill me?”
“I’m trying to bring Charlotte back,” says Octavian.
“Explain to me how playing her favorite music will bring her back.”
“I can’t explain it,” says Octavian. “Haven’t you ever felt something in your gut?”
“Kiran’s friend Janie makes me feel something in my gut.”
“That’s not your gut,” Octavian says sharply. “And don’t be crude, boy.”
“Jesus, Dad,” says Ravi, sighing. “You always were a sanctimonious asshole.”
“Language!”
“Mm-hm. Sanctimonious.”
The scratchy noise stops. A moment later, Jane hears the guitar intro to the Beatles song “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away.”
Soundlessly, Phoebe Okada appears at Jane’s side. Jane’s body flies into a panic. She spends thirty seconds gripping the banister and trying to catch her breath.