“Good, my love.”
Ah, if there were two words she could listen to him say over and over, it was those—my love—even when he said them in Greek. She’d thought to distract him and ended up telling him she couldn’t live without him. Then why couldn’t she bring herself to say what she should have said long ago? That she was an assassin. Where was her courage?
She watched him stride away through the rain.
She could feel the words straining at the back of her throat to be said. I’m an assassin, and I may have been meant to kill you. Please don’t go without me.
How did she say something that might end her world? This was like knifing herself. She could see herself cut down in an instant once Theo and Dankyo understood everything. She’d betrayed them both, but especially Theo. Her Theo. And she’d bleed for it. He’d throw her away like a dirty rag.
Yet if she stayed silent, he would go off without her and without Dankyo. And who else could protect him if he truly was the assassination target? If he died… Oh, that would be worse than ending this little paradise she’d found. She loved him. She thought he loved her back, but the person he loved wasn’t real. He loved someone he trusted absolutely. Not her.
Theo was halfway to the airship. She quivered with indecision, felt the anguish and the words struggling inside her. She’d break in a moment. Shatter from the awful agony of wanting two impossible things at once. He took more steps, drew away. Now! Say it now! There’s time.
He was almost to the stairs leading up. When he went up those, it would be too late.
She choked. Took one shaky step, then picked up her flounced skirt and ran. Mud splattered her ankles.
In a few minutes, the airship would lift off and sink into the fog of rain and wind, dwindling to a red smudge. Her mind seethed with grief and self-condemnation and more sadness, the emotions feeding on one another like circling sharks. Run!
For a few fleeting seconds, she even hit sharp time. People blurred. Raindrops fell, wobbling before her eyes, drifting like snowflakes.
Theo turned, slowly. He saw her and stopped; his broad shoulders seemed to jerk as if she’d shocked him. She wove through the two men in her way and fell to her knees at Theo’s feet. The rain soaked her dress, stuck her hair to her neck and forehead, but she barely noticed.
“I’m sorry,” she gasped out. “I…”
“Claire—” Theo put out his hand, cupped her chin. He sighed, a half smile on his face. “Very well. You may come. I never thought this would upset you so much.” Someone else ran up. “You too, Dankyo. Arrange for some clothes for the both of you, please. Come with me.” He dragged her up and to his side, then turned to the metal steps that descended from the belly of the airship.
Behind her, Claire heard Dankyo snapping out orders. He must have been right behind her, all the way, as she ran.
“You can remain in the airship while parliament goes through the stages of revoking the Frankenstruct Euthanasia bill.”
Relief flooded her as they went up the steps together. She was safe again, and so was Theo. Everything was back under control. Perfectly safe. She didn’t need to reveal any more of herself. She’d panicked for no solid reason. For an assassin to panic, well, they’d have failed her at classes, that was certain, and all because of one man. Strange, and it made her feel so queer. Going to her knees on the wet grass had been overly dramatic.
That her hands still trembled, she dismissed as a sign of the cold rain affecting her.
At the top of the stairs a uniformed woman cleaned her muddy feet with a cloth.
When they were behind a timber door, in some sort of lounging room, Theo sat on a tan leather sofa and pulled her onto his lap. She snuggled in. Her head found that ever so right space beneath his chin at his shoulder. Bliss. The engines of the airship had settled into a regular rhythm, and the rain seemed a distant event, lightly tapping on the porthole glass as if asking politely to be allowed in. Warm, comfy, and she had her man again.
“Happy?” Theo asked, his fingers playing in her hair.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Thank the Lord for that,” he muttered. But she could hear the amusement beneath the exasperation. She reached up and held on to the hand on her head. “Disobedient woman. I wonder what is the best way to punish you. I don’t think I packed a whip.”
She froze. Oh, no.
Theo chuckled and tugged her hair. “Don’t worry, I’ll think of something.”
That almost sounded worse.
Chapter Twenty