“Emil is back, isn’t he?” I ask, as fear starts to choke me.
“He was just at the house in Crestwood,” he affirms. “You didn’t recognize him?”
“His particular brand of darkness was familiar,” I admit, “but I didn’t know who Emil was until Tau blew that whistle and sent me into my memory.”
“You scared me when you were unconscious. I thought you were never going to wake up,” he says, inching closer, touching the footboard of my bed. He looks so dangerous without his shirt on to hide the sinew and power beneath his skin.
“The last whistle blow—the one that closed the door to Sheol—it made me go back—I was Simone again. I was living her memories.”
“You had a dream?”
“No. I was her—I was there—in Simone’s body.”
“What did you see?”
I feel bleak. “I saw how Emil was with me—obsessed, but not with love—with hate.”
“He saw his opposite in you and pretended that you were the same—that he was like you. He always tried so hard to break you—to terrify you, but you’d been through it all before—pain, slaughter, death—you have lifetimes of experience with it.”
“What happened to her? To me?” I amend. “How did Simone die?”
Xavier tenses. “I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me,” he says with an urgency that startles me.
“Why don’t you know?” I ask in confusion.
“I was called back at almost the same moment that Simone died. When I arrived in Paradise, you wouldn’t tell me what happened between you and Emil in the last hours of your life and I couldn’t remember much of that last day there.”
“Why not?”
“Something went more wrong than just you dying—it was like you were protecting something—a secret. I asked you to tell me—begged you. You wouldn’t say—no, it was more like you couldn’t say. You were called then—soon after.”
“Called?” I ask.
He smiles again and my heart beats faster. I want to be indifferent to him, but I’m not. There’s so much between us; I can sense it, the weight of it. It’s in every look, every nuance of his expressions. I know them well—bone deep, I know them. This is the smile he uses when he’s hurt and doesn’t want me to know. I don’t know how I know that, I just do. “You were called for another assignment and you went to discuss it alone.”
“My going alone, is that unusual?” I probe.
“I always go with you,” he replies. “Russell is often there as well, but I’m always by your side.”
“As my guardian angel?”
“Yes—as your partner for missions, but this time when you met, I wasn’t invited to the discussion.”
“I must have told you what it was about—”
“You said that this was it for you—this was going to be your final mission. You wanted to be with me forever. Just me,” he explains, but then he frowns.
I read his look. “You didn’t believe me—”
He turns away from me. “Of course I believed you. You loved me as much as I loved you.”
“But there was something more,” I assess.
“You had a look,” he admits, his shoulders caving in a little.
“What look?”
“The sacrifice-your-soul look,” he replies. “I know it well. I’ve seen you wear it often.”
“What reason would I have to sacrifice my soul?” I wonder aloud. “Revenge? Emil was sadistic. Do you think I’d come back for revenge?”
He shakes is head. “You’re not vengeful, you’re forgiving. Can you think of another reason?” he asks me, probing my memory.
“I don’t know,” I mutter. I put my hands to my temples, trying to see inside my mind for the answer that eludes me.
“Emil is endowed with power like I’ve never seen until you—until now. Why was he granted such power? What happened between you and Emil in those last hours that would entitle him to acquire so much power?”
“I don’t understand,” I murmur. “Are you saying I did something wrong on my last mission?”
His jaw eases for a moment as he scans my eyes. He shakes his head and says quietly, “No, there’s nothing you could’ve done to have given the Fallen the ability to bestow such power on him. It couldn’t have been you—”
I bound out of my bed and pace the room in agitation. “Then what could’ve gone wrong?”
“I don’t know,” he admits, equally frustrated. “What I do know is it’s Emil’s soul who’s back. He has deadly powers, and we have to make him cease to be. Annihilate his soul so that it can never return.”
“Is that possible?”
“Not without your help. I thought that I could do it alone, but after what he showed us today, I’ll need you. You were remade for just this purpose. A special killer.”
“If I’m a killer, why was I given a conscience?”
His eyes darken with a grim shadow. “So you won’t fail.”