Incarnate

The masquerade was coming up. No one would know me then.

 

It didn’t take me long to find Larkin, who sold dyed cloth. I mimed how much synthetic silk I wanted, and we discussed colors and prices before settling. Only then did he ask my name, but he fell into the category of people who didn’t care. That was a relief.

 

While he folded my things and wrote a bill for Sam, I scanned the market. The crowd hadn’t thinned at all. People still haggled over trinkets and shared bites of food. Children marched between stalls, behaving just like adults. I even saw an infant like that, quiet and mature as he directed his current parents to things he wanted. I must have been such a shock to the world, unable to communicate except by mindless screaming.

 

Armande spotted me and waved, as did a few others I had lessons with. I waved back, half wondering if Sam had sent them to keep an eye on me.

 

A tall figure appeared in the corner of my eye. She touched my shoulder.

 

“Stef, I said I—” I turned and stuttered, staggered back. “Li.” She looked just as she had on my birthday, fierce and ever-annoyed by my existence. My body turned wooden.

 

Larkin returned from packaging my items. “Here you go, Ana.” Then he was quiet, too.

 

“So.” Li plucked the bill from Larkin’s hand. “You found someone else to take care of you. Dossam has always been a fool.”

 

My throat was broken. So was my tongue. I wanted to snap back and say no one took care of me, but didn’t he?

 

“Nothing to say?” Li sneered and shoved the paper back at Larkin. “I suppose I should be impressed you made it here, what with your sense of direction.”

 

“You gave me a bad compass.” Part of me wished someone would step in to help. Most of me wished I could stand up to her on my own. “You nearly got me killed.”

 

“You know to check your equipment.”

 

“Go away.” My voice was surely lost beneath the crowd’s cacophony and the pounding of my heart. “You’re not part of my life anymore. Leave me alone.”

 

She pinched my chin and turned my face up. “On the contrary, I’ve asked the Council to return you to my care. You’re my daughter, and there’s so much I should teach you.”

 

I shook my head. “You can’t.” I hated this, feeling pitiful, feeling unable to fight back. After everything Sam and I had talked about, and as many times as I’d called him rude names when I actually liked him, why couldn’t I face Li? “He won’t let you.”

 

“He won’t have a choice.”

 

“The Council won’t let you.”

 

“Do you think people would coddle you as much if they realized what you really are? The beginning of more nosouls. The end of us. I doubt Sam would treat you so nicely if you’d replaced Stef. You’ve already replaced Ciana, though she might have been a phase for him. Like you are.” She smiled and sailed off.

 

No telling how long I stared after her, paralyzed, but Larkin said, “Ana, your things,” and I tried to thank him before I fled to the place I was supposed to meet my friends.

 

Friends? Earlier they’d felt like friends, but if Li was right, if the Council was right, Sam was my guardian and the others were doing him favors. I knew he cared about me, but still.

 

I dug the heels of my palms against my temples, struggling to compose myself before anyone found me.

 

“Ana?” Hands closed over my shoulders and I leapt backward. Sine released me, alarm on her face. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing.” I hugged my bags to my chest and started south, toward Sam’s house. He could meet me there. I didn’t want to see anyone.

 

Sine kept up easily. “You looked scared out of your mind. What happened?” She was on the Council. Maybe she could help.

 

“It’s Li.” I led her away from the crowds and checked the area for Sam or the others. No one. “Please don’t make me go back with her. I can’t do that again.” My throat ached from holding back sobs. “Please.”

 

“Why would I make you go back?” Sine shook her head. “Tell me everything that happened. Trust me, we have no plans to remove you from Sam’s care. Everyone says you’re doing fine.”

 

Shivering, I told her what had happened by Larkin’s stall, but even as I did, I felt stupid. Li hadn’t done anything. She’d barely touched me. She’d just been herself. “I’m sorry.” My head throbbed. “I shouldn’t go on about it. She just rattled me.” I should have kept my mouth shut.

 

Sine ignored my attempts to wave it off. “Li can be intimidating,” she started.

 

Beyond her, Sam and Whit arrived at the meeting spot. Sam glanced around. Just as he saw me, raised his hand and noticed my distress, thunder shook the sky.

 

The market went silent as everyone looked up. All at once. They seemed to be holding their breath.

 

That was weird. The sky was as clear as it had been this morning, only geyser and hot spring steam misting over the wall. The thunder came again.

 

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