“Small, maybe. Definitely not insignificant.” He sat next to me, and we watched the empty road. “Everyone knows who you are.”
That didn’t sound like a good thing. I was that Ana. “Aside from you, no one bothered talking to me. Not even Li.”
“Last life, no one could get him to shut up.”
I almost corrected, “Her,” but bit my lip. It was hard to remember that my mother, definitely a woman, had been male before. Different body. Different life. Instead, I said, “What about everyone else? Did Li forbid it? Or did they just not want to bother?”
Sam took a knife and a wedge of hard cheese from his bag and began cutting. “Honestly? I think people aren’t sure it’s worth getting to know you. It would be like you deciding if it was worth befriending a butterfly, even though it wouldn’t be there in the morning.”
It hurt to breathe. “What about you?”
“Surely you know by now.”
I didn’t, but I didn’t want to admit it. “Nothing stopped you from seeing me before. I could have used”—not a friend, that was too familiar—“someone to talk to me.”
He gave one of those half smiles. “Li stopped me. We haven’t gotten along in lifetimes. And I didn’t know how she was treating you. If I had, I can’t say I’d have been able to do anything, but I might have tried.”
Might have. It didn’t matter what he said about me being powerful. I was just a butterfly to everyone, and why would anyone in their right mind rescue a butterfly from being ignored by a cat?
He offered a slice of cheese, but I wasn’t hungry anymore. “You have to eat.”
“Says the man who just told me I can do whatever I want.” I flinched away—Li would have slapped me for that—but he just turned back to his lunch.
“Okay.” He ate the entire meal by himself and didn’t offer anything else. When he was done, he folded the blanket and slung the bag over his shoulder. “Time to go.”
Part of me felt like I should apologize, mostly because I didn’t want him to ignore me, but neither of us had actually done or said anything wrong. We’d just kind of . . . gotten mad. I sighed and fiddled with my bandages for the next mile before I rested my palm on his shoulder, gently so as not to irritate my healing skin. “Sam?”
He stopped walking. “Are you hungry now?”
I shook my head. “I’m glad you talk to me.” In the cabin, especially. Maybe he’d only rambled for hours to keep me from weeping in agony—maybe he’d only wanted to save his own ears—but he had, and he’d been careful and gentle. That meant everything. If only telling him that didn’t mean telling him that. “I won’t expect anyone else to be like you.”
“No one knows if you’ll be around very long. If people have been less than welcoming, that’s the reason why.”
“I’ll be around my whole life,” I whispered, not quite under the breeze in the forest, the pounding of my heart and the beating of my invisible and incorporeal wings. “That’s a long time to me.”
He brushed a strand of hair off my face and nodded.
.....................................................................
Chapter 7
Walls
AS WE BROKE through the forest, a white wall soared high into the air, like smooth clouds below the cobalt sky. It stretched in both directions as far as I could see, flowing like water on the dips and crests of the plateau that carried the city of Heart.
Gates of iron and brass guarded the Southern Arch into the city, but as wide as the entrance was, I couldn’t make out anything beyond. Just darkness.
“Look up.” Sam stood next to me, one hand twisted in Shaggy’s lead, and the other shoved into his pocket.
His cheeks were bright with chill, but his smile was wide and relaxed. Stubble darkened his chin like shadows, and his lips were chapped from wind. It had been a long walk, and he’d chatted constantly. He’d pointed out ruins, mostly derelict cabins, but there were a few mysterious mounds of rock. We’d walked by five immense graveyards, which we’d stopped to look at while he told me stories about the people buried there.
Apparently I hadn’t responded quickly enough. He glanced at me, his expression a cross between teasing and curiosity. “Not at me.” He nudged me with his elbow. “Look at Heart. Look up.”
Above the wall, an enormous tower jutted into the sky, taller than a hundred ancient redwood trees stacked on one another. It vanished into a cloud, white stone making that vapor look dirty in comparison. “What is it?” My chest felt too tight, like something squeezing and reminding me I was a nosoul. I resisted the urge to back away from it, lest it see me.
“The temple.” Now he peered at me with concern, something he did too much. “Are you okay?”