I woke screaming her name.
Maud. Maud. Maud.
Throat raw, lips chapped, I panted through a panic attack while I adjusted to my surroundings. I was tucked so deep in the crack of the wall, the sloped ceiling rested on top of my head.
Snatches of conversation, too faint for me to remember, too devastating for me to forget, echoed through my head, pinging off the walls of my skull then bouncing into oblivion as I woke fully.
What had I dreamed? What had I dreamed? What had I dreamed?
Already, the fine details eluded me, leaving behind vague dread and fresh grief.
“Are you finished?” a brassy voice snapped. “My ears are ringing.”
Climbing from my hidey-hole, I crawled to the edge of the loft and peered down at a flurry of activity.
Racks of clothes had been wheeled in and pushed against the walls. Boxes of shoes towered in one corner while purses and other accessories cluttered the couch. Wafer-thin women dressed to the nines fluttered between piles, cooing and flattering Meiko, who presided over the affair from the center of the room.
The scene wrecked me with its familiarity, and a sour taste flooded my mouth.
I’m safe, safe, safe.
The similarities proved too strong until all I could hear was that last conversation with Lena the night I executed my escape from Volkov, and the Master.
“Have you put any more thought into what I should wear tomorrow night?”
“I do have some ideas.” She hesitated, uncertain if I actually cared about her opinion. “Would you like me to show you?”
“I want to look my best.” I offered her my hand. “I might need help getting back in bed, though. Do you mind?”
“Not at all.” She carried me back to bed and propped me up with pillows. “Wait just a tick, and I’ll be right back with my top choices.” Her smile widened. “Then we can talk about accessories.”
The clothes. The bed. The flitting helpers. It was all too much. I hated all of it until my eyes crossed.
Linus. I needed Linus. Where was he?
“Cookie, Cookie.” Meiko sneered, her cherry lips curling. “Are there crumbs in his bed?”
“Why not ask him,” I said, aware I was being nasty but too stung to curb my tongue. “What is all this?”
“Your new wardrobe.” She cocked a silk-clad hip and planted a manicured hand below the chain mail belt cinching her emerald dress tight. Clothes. She was wearing clothes. And, of course, she looked as good in them as she did out of them. The fabric was the exact color of her eyes. “That was the purpose of last night’s debacle, was it not?”
“Yes.”
She tapped one toe made viciously sharp by her glittering pumps. “And your mission was unsuccessful, correct?”
“Yes.”
Tired of waiting for me to make the connection, she shrugged. “Then I don’t see the issue.”
Woozy. I was getting woozy. So woozy.
I told myself it was the height, but I knew it was memory warping the scene before me, twisting it into a nightmare tableau where vampire guards might storm the room and haul me before the Master at the slightest provocation.
“I’d heard you were broken.” She dismissed the others with a wave. “I suppose even rumor mills are bound to churn out the truth now and again.”
“I’m not broken.” Catwoman wasn’t snatching a morsel of progress from me. “I’m…mending.”
“Prove it.” She trailed a fingertip down the sleeves of the shirts on the rack nearest her, showcasing the department store she had brought to me. “Either you wear your past, or it wears you.”
A sick certainty knotted my gut. “You know.”
About Lena. About the clothes. About polishing me until I shined.
“Linus was right about me.” Her plump lips smashed together. “I am a liar.” She picked invisible lint from her gown. “Although I wasn’t lying when I said I can pluck your worst fears from your head.”
Meaning she had been taunting me with the naked-woman routine, but this… This was designed to hurt. “That’s comforting.”
“Believe it or not, I was trying to behave since you’ll be gone in a couple of days.” Her tone promised she would never see me again, and it made me question what Linus had told her about his long-term plans. “You’re not worth upsetting my applecart over.”
Again, I wondered what role she filled in his household, and again I reminded myself it was none of my business. “So, what’s all this about then?”
“Why go to the shops,” she said, smirking, “when we can bring the shops to you?”
“You don’t get it.” I sat down before toppling face-first over the edge. “Part of the fun—okay, actually all of the fun—was the experience of going out with my friend.” Buying the clothes was necessity. Goofing off with Neely would have been the only highlight of the experience. “He’s got an eye for this kind of thing, and I haven’t seen him much lately. This trip was going to be an apology for being a lame friend.”
“Your human is unavailable.” She clipped each syllable shorter than Boaz kept his hair on the sides. “That doesn’t change the fact you need clothes. I saw what you brought with you when I located your pajamas. Do you really want to step foot on Strophalos soil dressed in rags?”
“Jeans and T-shirts aren’t rags,” I grumbled, ignoring how many holes frayed each of mine.
“Linus has a reputation to uphold.” Her nose wrinkled. “For that matter, so do you. Do you want people to associate the Woolworth name with grunge rockers from the nineties?”
“No?”
“I’ve wasted enough of my time on this.” She tipped up her chin. “I’ll be back in an hour, and we’ll talk lunch. Make sure you’ve picked out at least a dozen outfits. It’s not much, but it’s a start.”
“A dozen? Outfits?” That was like—I did quick math in my head—thirty-six or more individual pieces. “I don’t know what to choose. You’ve seen what I wear.”
A calculating smile curved her pouty lips. “That’s why I pre-coordinated each piece here. You cannot go wrong. The palette is traditional. Whites, grays, blacks, and reds. These are the colors your adoptive mother wore, the shades associated with your family and your station.”
Surprise left me speechless. This was…a kindness. Meiko didn’t do kind.
The odds of her suffocating me in my sleep jumped by twenty-five percent.
“I’ll do your hair and makeup,” she informed me. “Fashion is armor where you’re going.”
The sentiment was visceral in its accuracy and yet… “Why are you doing this?”
“The sooner you accomplish your goals, the sooner you’ll go home.”
“He’s coming back to Savannah with me.” The taunt popped right out of my mouth without permission.
“This is his home,” she purred. “He belongs here, with me.” Her smile sharpened. “You’ll break his heart. You’re already half in love with someone else, and when you crush him, he’ll finally understand you don’t care about him. Don’t you get it?” She laughed, all sly venom. “I’m helping me, not you. He needs to let go of this fantasy of you. Make your choice, and put him out of his misery. You might not love him, but surely you care enough to want what’s best for him?”
“Linus doesn’t care about me that way,” I said, hearing my own uncertainty.
“You saw his office.” A grimness tightened her eyes as she plucked her keycard from her cleavage. “You know the truth. Run from it if you like, deny it if you must, but remember this: There’s nothing wrong with lying until you start telling them to yourself.”
The door clicked shut on her heels, and I was left alone with a loft full of clothes and the budding certainty I might not have been the only one nursing a teenage crush.
Meiko might be a liar, but her hurt over his rejection rang all too true.