His crutch skidded on the paving stones, but he caught himself before falling. “But you can’t. No amount of power can break through the barrier, it’s been attempted time and time again.”
As if I didn’t know that. “I must try.” And try, and try until my heart stopped beating. At a certain point, I knew logic, reason, and sanity would abandon me in my single-minded pursuit to obey Cécile’s command, and that I would tear all of Trollus asunder in a mad attempt to break free. Word had travelled ahead of us, as through the gloom I could see the guards at the gates mobilizing, preparing themselves for my arrival. Not that they could stop me.
“I’ve little time,” I said. “But there is something I need to say to you before the… the end.”
“I’m listening.”
It was an effort to collect my thoughts, but as much as I knew the fight was over for me, I didn’t want it to be over for everyone else. “For the longest time, I thought this fight was between half-bloods and full-bloods,” I finally said. “But I was wrong. It’s a fight against a flawed ideology. A fight for a different way of life. What sort of blood is flowing through your veins shouldn’t and doesn’t determine how or what you think. If nothing else, what we saw tonight proves that much.”
I cast a backward glance at my city, taking in the towering columns of stone I was leaving behind. “You have Marc and the twins to help, but I think it’s you who needs to unite those who want to see this tyranny overthrown.”
“We need you,” Tips said, despair thick on his voice. “You are our leader.”
“No.” I met his gaze, forcing my feet to stop moving for enough time to say what needed saying. “Others will rise up. They already have. This city is desperate for change, my friend, and you don’t need me to make it happen.”
Tips hesitated for a painfully long moment, and then to my surprise, he bowed low. “It has been a privilege, Your Highness.”
He wouldn’t give up, I could see it in the square of his shoulders. And somehow, that made it easier. “For me as well,” I said. “Goodbye, Tips.”
The time for words was over. Turning to the gate, I swept aside the guards and their magic, then tore the steel blocking my way from its moorings, tossing it aside. I started to run, faster and faster down the slick road toward the world outside. Toward her. It was over, and I didn’t want it to be. It was over, and I was relieved by it.
Cécile had made a choice. For herself. For me. And it could not be undone.
The fresh breeze full of the smell of salt and life and freedom struck me in the face, the faint glow of dusk appearing ahead of me, and in that moment, I hated her.
I loved her.
The point of impact loomed, and I braced myself. For the pain. Please let her survive was my last thought, and then I threw myself at the barrier.
Thirty-Three
Cécile
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Chris standing at the back stairs of the opera house. The safety of my friends was a small blessing in this night of failures.
“Sabine found you and warned you?”
He nodded. “While I was with Fred. Who is, by the way, an even worse liar than you. She didn’t call him out on what he’d done, because she was afraid he’d warn Lord Aiden that you’d escaped. I don’t think he would, though. I think he regrets what he did. Were you able to get your book back?”
“I searched every market, but I couldn’t find her,” I said, hating how well I felt, as though my countless sleepless nights had been washed away by blood. “So I tried to break them free another way. It didn’t work.” I swallowed a lump in my throat, not ready to explain exactly what I had done, how I’d felt her triumph when I failed, and how a fit of madness had taken me and I’d screamed Tristan’s name until I’d collapsed in the sand like a madwoman.
“Sabine told me what you two overheard,” Chris said. “She’s inside, although everything’s all chaos because your mother left for the Marquis’ country home, claiming she was ill.”
“She isn’t ill, she’s angry at me,” I muttered, pressing a hand to my forehead. I hadn’t just failed to free the trolls, I’d failed to protect her, too.
“What are you going to do?”
“Wait for the messenger to come find me,” I said. “Let him and Catherine help me catch Anushka, bring her face to face with the King, then set her free.” I waited for some passersby to move away, and then I continued, “And what will happen will happen. But at least we’ll live to fight another day.” My chest was tight. “I’m not giving up, Chris.”
“Then there’s still hope.” He squeezed my hand. “How’s Tristan?”
I closed my eyes and shoved away the sick euphoria I felt. “Not well.” And I was noticing it much more than I had before, which could only mean he was getting worse.
“Cécile, thank heavens you’re all right.” Sabine came flying down the steps. “We didn’t know where you’d gone. We came back here like you asked, but…” She frowned. “Why are you all wet?”