My mother had returned to the great room with two steaming cups in her hands, the faint smell of mint and chamomile drifting through the air. I settled next to her on the well-padded settee, tucking my chilled feet underneath me to warm them. She waited until I was settled to hand me a cup, and for a long time we both silently watched the fire. It felt comfortable and warm, and for the first time ever, the austere townhouse felt almost like home and Genevieve almost like a real mother. I clung to the feeling, letting it drive away the black thoughts threatening to overtake me.
“Where were you?” I asked. The water clock showed the time as five in the morning. I hadn’t slept for more than an hour. That I’d fallen asleep at all was astonishing.
“The Marquis’ salon.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, revealing her profile. In the firelight, I could see little crinkles were starting to form around her eyes, black little lines where the kohl had caught in them. “Some gentlemen he conducts business with are here from the mainland, and he wanted them well entertained.”
I hesitated, a question that I’d been dying – but also afraid – to ask burning on the tip of my tongue. “What exactly does that mean?”
She turned her head to look at me. “What,” she asked, raising one eyebrow, “do you think it means?”
“That you sing?” I ventured, because that was what I hoped. I might have been born in the morning, but not yesterday morning. I’d heard the gossip and the rumors, and though he’d never outright explained his dislike, I believed that was why Fred refused to have much of anything to do with her.
“Sometimes.” She set her steaming cup down on the table. “But mostly, I talk.”
Not what I’d expected her to say. I took a large mouthful, burning my tongue. “About what?”
“Everything. Anything.” She pushed out her bottom lip. “Women of the nobility, or at the very least, of quality, are limited by propriety in what they can discuss. I am not.” She pointed a finger at me. “Neither are you. And that makes us far more desirable company than any of their wives.”
I started to look away in discomfort, but she caught my chin. “That is why I sent tutors for you in the Hollow, Cécile. Because for you to succeed in this world, you must not only be beautiful, you must be educated, clever, and above all things, you must be interesting.”
Her eyes searched my face, and I got the impression that I was supposed to say something. Except I didn’t know what. All these things she thought I should be were fine qualities, but I didn’t like the idea that their only purpose was for the entertainment of rich men.
“The Marquis keeps us in very fine style,” she continued. “He pays for all this,” she gestured around the house, “and for everything you have, for everything you know.” One finger coiled around a lock of hair, her eyes intent. “But I am not getting any younger, and soon he will tire of me and look for a replacement. You could be my successor.”
I pulled my chin out of her grasp and looked at the fire, everything becoming clear. That was why she’d wanted me educated, trained, and brought to live with her in Trianon. Not because she wanted her daughter close, but because she wanted insurance that she’d be kept in the style to which she’d grown accustomed. To live off the coin I could secure by being interesting.
“The Marquis must not have much regard for you if he’d put you aside for aging,” I said coldly. I watched, waiting for her eyes to light up so that I’d know my barb had sunk deep.
Instead, she smiled and lifted her chin. “Such is the nature of men, Cécile. They will keep you only so long as there isn’t something better within their reach; then they will discard you. Best you hear that from me now than learn it the hard way later.”
The smoke from the fire made my eyes burn and water as I took in her words. “Papa didn’t discard you.”
The room seemed to shrink, sucked in and made small by the silence.
“Is that what you think?” she whispered. “Is that what he told you?”
The truth was, my father never spoke much of it at all. It was Gran who’d told us the story of how we’d come to be in the Hollow, but I knew as well as I knew the back of my own hands that my grandmother was no liar. It was my turn to lift my chin. “Are you saying it happened differently?”
She rose abruptly to her feet, tripping on the hem of her skirt as she walked swiftly over to the sideboard. I heard the clink of glass and a splash of liquid. “I should have expected that you’d believe his side of the story.”
My heart skipped a little. Was there more to it than what Gran had told us? When I was a child, I’d daydreamed that my mother had only allowed us to be separated by necessity – that secretly, she’d always wanted us to stay together as a family. Time and much evidence to the contrary had beaten those dreams out of me, but what if my child-self had been right? “It’s the only side that’s ever been told to me,” I said, trying to keep my greed for the truth out of my voice. “But if there’s more to hear, I’ll listen.”
“What’s the point?” she asked. “I told your brother, and look how well it served me.”
Fred knew? And hadn’t told me? “I’m not my brother,” I said, irritated that he’d be so petty.