“You two were so intense, so young.”
Owen had been intense, but he hadn’t been young. Not in the way everyone else had. Which meant he should have known better than to touch Becca. He had known better. But that hadn’t meant he could stop himself. Then, once he’d started, once he’d known what love was … Nothing had mattered but her.
That was why he’d left. Owen had had nothing. If he’d stayed, Becca would have had nothing too.
“Young people make huge mistakes. They don’t think. They only feel. And then it’s too late. I wasn’t going to let that happen to her. She was destined for great things, and she wouldn’t have been able to achieve them if you…” His voice drifted off.
“If I’d have been hanging around her neck like a dead albatross.”
Carstairs shrugged, which Owen took as a yes.
Owen felt again like that boy from the wrong side of the forest, with the crazy mom and no money who’d had the audacity to fall in love with the town princess. He’d been a fool to hope that Emerson Watley’s change of opinion might translate to everyone.
Wasn’t going to happen. Others might shake his hand and call him a hero, but this man never would. Owen had broken his trust, and he couldn’t really blame Becca’s father for still being angry about it.
“You aren’t going to tell her, are you?” Carstairs asked.
“Tell her?” Owen echoed.
“What I said back then.”
The man was afraid the truth would come out, and he’d become the villain instead of Owen. Owen wasn’t certain that would happen even if he spilled everything to Becca. He’d still lied and left. Her dad had only lied.
“If I didn’t tell her then, I sure wouldn’t tell her now. I’m not staying.”
“No?” Becca’s dad glanced pointedly at his leg once more.
Owen ground his teeth. “I’m going back to my unit.”
“And if you can’t?”
Panic blazed. Reggie lifted his head, let out a huff, as if to clear his nose. His ruff lifted. Either Owen had given off the sudden scent of flop sweat or the dog had heard his breathing enter the freak-out zone. Maybe both.
Now that he thought about it, Reggie’s behavior was similar to the behavior he exhibited to signal insurgent. Owen had always wondered how the dog knew the difference between bad guy and not a bad guy. The scent and the sound of nerves might do it.
“I’m okay,” he said.
Carstairs snorted. Owen’s fingers clenched. Reggie growled, gaze on Becca’s dad.
“Bly’b,” Owen repeated, then breathed in through the nose, out through the mouth several times the way he’d learned in rehab.
“How’s your mom?”
“The same.”
If she were any different—better or worse—someone from the Northern Wisconsin Mental Health Facility, where she’d been for a long, long time, should have called him.
“I’m selling the house,” Owen continued. “Even if she ever gets well enough to leave the facility, she shouldn’t live there.”
The place was too isolated—creepy even before it had become so broken down. Living there alone would make anyone crazy. If you were crazy to begin with … best to stay away.
“Don’t you want to live there?” Carstairs asked.
“When I leave the service, I am not going to come back here.”
“Why not?”
Owen cast the man an irritated glance. Even though Carstairs had done everything he could to make sure Owen left all those years ago, and seemed determined to ensure the same happened now, he seemed offended that Owen didn’t want to stay.
“I can hope all I want that what I’ve accomplished might change people’s view of me, but in a town like this that doesn’t happen. I’ll always be the son of the crazy lady.”
“That’s because you will always be the son of the crazy lady.” Carstairs lifted his hand in a halting gesture. “You should be proud of yourself, Owen, but you can’t change the truth. Crazy like your mom’s doesn’t go away and—” He let out a sharp sigh. “It’s in the blood. Who knows where it might show up next.”
“You think I’m gonna slip a gear?”
Carstairs spread his hands. “That or one of your kids might.”
“You’re not worried about my kids, you’re only worried if they’re her kids too.”
“Do you blame me?”
Owen did, but he also understood. He didn’t like it. Who would? But Carstairs was just a father trying to protect his daughter. That he was kind of an ass was irrelevant.
“I should never have agreed to let you live with us,” Carstairs said.