chapter 22
I’d loved Rosefield before, but I loved it even more now. It was a safe haven, surrounded by roses and filled with books. I knew by some instinct that Lord Jasper was trustworthy; I’d been mistaken before to suspect him. I could finally begin to imagine myself as a real person, not simply a pawn in Mother’s endless quest for riches and prestige. Everything felt bigger—the room I slept in, the small trunk with my few dresses, the very air. There was finally a measure of space not taken up by her uncertain temper.
And perhaps I wouldn’t have chosen the life of a medium, but I couldn’t deny that it was thrilling. Everything seemed to be falling into place for me, except for one thing—I missed Colin.
It would be awful to have to leave this place and return to the yellow coal fog of London and the harrowing maze of Mother’s moods, but at least Colin would be there. Even as she dragged me about to public halls to make money off my newfound talent, he, at least, would be there. It might be almost bearable. I’d stopped thinking of him as the irritating boy who prowled our house with his big feet and arrogant smirk. Now he was the one I might finally escape with; he was handsome and strong and he understood me. It was an intoxicating combination. I pressed a hand to my warm cheek.
I might have sat there a little longer, immersed in thoughts of Colin, but the press of spirits was in the room. There was that subtle shift in temperature and pressure that I was beginning to recognize. There was the smell of strong Turkish coffee and the sound of footsteps on the rug. But there was no one else in the library, just me, curled in a leather chair. I squinted, caught a flash of mist in the shape of a dress with silver-netted panniers. As usual, that one glimpse made all the other glimpses easier to see.
And quite suddenly it was rather crowded in the empty library.
The woman with the wide dress had a heart-shaped patch on her cheek covering a smallpox scar. She gave a ribald laugh as she floated to the top of the bookshelf and pulled down a book I felt certain I wasn’t allowed to see. She drank coffee from a crystal cup.
Behind her, a young boy with dirt on his face grinned at me.
A cat attacked the motes of dust hanging in a beam of sunlight. I had no idea if he was a real cat or a ghostly cat.
“I thought I might find you here,” Lord Jasper said from the doorway where he’d been watching me swat away invisible people. Perfect.
“It’s so peaceful here,” I said, hastily lowering my hand. Even with all the dead people.
“You know about your third eye now, from the reading I gave you?” He leaned against his cane.
I nodded.
“Picture it now then, and see it closing, as if it were asleep. That way, you’ll only see the spirits when you choose to open the eye.”
“But what about the ones I want to see?” I was thinking of Mr. Rochester. I’d miss his furry, clever little face.
“You can half-shut the eye, as if it were drowsy.”
I tried it. Immediately, the shadows receded a little. It felt itchy still, as if a headache loomed, but it was better than the alternative. I beamed at him. “Thank you!”
“It will take some time to master properly, of course.”
“Lord Jasper?” I asked when he turned to go.
“Yes, my dear?”
“You have psychical talents too, don’t you?”
“I did.” He paused and smiled sadly at me over his shoulder. “A long time ago.”
Tea was served in the main parlor for the guests. Lord Jasper’s sister Lucinda sniffed at me when I dared pass her chair. She turned her head, giving me the cut direct. She clearly didn’t approve of my return. Her friends followed her lead, sticking their noses in the air. I went to hide in a chair by the door, behind a cabinet of curiosities.
Everyone else was talking about the farewell ball tonight, which would be even more grand than the one last week. Instead of wishing I could waltz with Colin under the ruby-glassed oil lamps, I was wondering how I was going to solve Rowena’s murder if I had to go back to London permanently. She refused to leave Tabitha’s side, and Tabitha was keeping to her room, according to Elizabeth.
“You look disgruntled. Have a scone.” Elizabeth sat next to me, offering her plate. “Cook puts candied rose petals in them. It’s tastier than it sounds.”
“We’re running out of time,” I said, taking the bite she offered me. Her mother glared at us sourly from the other side of the room, rising to her feet.
“Uh-oh.” Elizabeth sighed. She crammed the rest of the scone in her mouth in a huge, unladylike bite. “Mother doesn’t approve of me eating sweets,” she mumbled though the crumbs.
I felt certain that wasn’t the only thing Elizabeth’s mother disapproved of.
“Elizabeth,” Lady Ashford said, pointedly ignoring me. “Come along.”
Elizabeth blinked. “But I’m not finished with my tea.”
“All the same. This is not appropriate.”
“I’ve just finished,” she grumbled, brushing crumbs off the front of her silk dress.
“You know very well that’s not what I mean. Don’t cause a scene.” She gripped Elizabeth’s elbow and hauled her to her feet, despite her admonitions about causing a scene. Nearby chatter paused. I swallowed hard, hoping I wasn’t flushing red with anger and mortification. Elizabeth looked like an apoplectic radish.
“Mother!”
“Now, Elizabeth Anne.”
She shot me an apologetic glance before letting herself be dragged away. I drank the rest of my tea to give myself something to do while I willed everyone to stop sneaking glances my way. I felt like an animal in one of the cages at the zoological gardens, being gawked at. They wanted me to talk about the dead, wanted me to weep at being snubbed, wanted me to provide as much scandal as my mother had accidentally afforded them.
I just wanted to hide in my room with a book.
But I couldn’t do that until I’d solve Rowena’s bloody problem.
Mr. Travis stood by the buffet table, holding a raspberry tart. His eyes were shadowed again, his thin shoulders stooped.
I might not be an earl’s legitimate daughter, I might not have had tutors and governesses and riding lessons, but I had talents of my own that had nothing to do with spirit visions.
And it was time I put them to good use.
I meandered slowly toward the buffet table. I took a plate and piled it with thin slices of ham, cucumber salad, and sugar-dusted blackberries that I had no intention of eating. I stopped next to Mr. Travis, who turned toward me. I leaned to get a honey-glazed pastry, deliberately out of my reach.
A little more humiliation wouldn’t kill me.
I was already accounted a clumsy girl with no breeding; no one would think twice.
I had to remind myself of that before I tipped the plate of food onto Mr. Travis. Blackberries bounced off his arm. A slice of ham landed on his shoe. There were gasps and titters. Elizabeth’s eyes were so round I had to look away in case I giggled.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed. The red in my cheeks was perfectly authentic. I grabbed for a napkin and patted his coat. The cream filling in the pastry smeared over his lapel. I fluttered and worried at him.
He never noticed when I slipped my hands into his coat pockets while I was making the stains worse with my napkin. The first pocket was empty, the second had a folded letter tucked inside. The wax seal gave under my nail.
I stole it.
Just in case. It might be nothing, a bill or a list of supplies for his mother. There was only one way to find out.
I tucked the letter under the flounces of my dress and hurried out of the parlor, still apologizing and blushing while a maidservant took Mr. Travis’s coat for cleaning. He wouldn’t find out the pocket was empty for a while yet. And if the letter wasn’t important, I could leave it in the drawing room and he’d just think it had fallen out in the commotion.
I would have taken the stairs two at a time if my gown allowed it. Inside my room, I shut the door tightly and climbed onto the bed to unfold the letter. The handwriting was delicate, feminine, and the parchment smelled faintly of lily of the valley.
I tried to read it but was distracted by the boot sticking out from under my bed. It was black and scuffed—and I wasn’t entirely sure if it was ghostly or human.
I only knew I wasn’t alone.
And that anyone hiding under my bed wouldn’t have honorable intentions.
I couldn’t remember if I’d seen Peter taking tea with the others.
Edging off the bed slowly, I reached for the iron poker by the fireplace. I held it up against my shoulder like a carpet beater, as if I were about to whack dust from a parlor rug. I crept closer. The foot didn’t move.
“That’s it,” I muttered, swinging the poker down next to the foot. “Get the hell out of my room!” I added a vicious poke.
“Bollocks!” a voice roared from under the feather mattress.
A familiar voice.
Colin scrambled out, smudged with dust and scowling. “What the bleedin’ hell are you—oh, Violet. It’s you.”
“Of course it’s me! Who else would it be? What are you doing here?”
“I thought you were one of the maids.”
“I meant here in Wiltshire,” I said, dropping the poker. My heart dropped back to its regular rhythm. “Scaring me half to death.”
He smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.” He touched my cheek briefly. “Didn’t you miss me a little, love?”
“Maybe.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Did you miss me?”
“That’s why I’m here, in’it?”
I admit it. I melted. This new Colin was entirely too charming for his own good. His thumb trailed under my ear and along the back of my neck. Even my knees shivered.
“And I was worried about you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re chasing a murderer,” he returned drily. “I know you don’t need to be molly-coddled but I can’t help worrying about you. You get into trouble the way debutantes get into ball gowns.”
“I do not. Speaking of trouble, where on earth are you sleeping?”
“I’ll find a spot in the stables. No one’ll know.”
“But …” I frowned. It wasn’t right. He should have a better bed than a hayloft. Especially since I was eating chocolates and sleeping under brocade bed curtains.
“Don’t worry about me.” He waved off my concern. “I like horses better than the fancy anyway. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” I assured him, smiling. It was so good to see him. It had been only two days. I shouldn’t be missing him yet. “The ladies are snubbing me. Lord Jasper’s a little naive, isn’t he?” I asked. “He thinks he can make everyone accept me. He has no idea what those women would do to me. On a more positive note, I threw a pastry at Mr. Travis today.”
“You really do have lamentable aim.”
I grinned cheekily. “But I can out-pickpocket you any day.”
“Let’s not be hasty,” he snorted. “And is ‘pickpocket’ even a verb?”
“Do you want to quibble or do you want to read what I found in Travis’s pocket?”
“Let me see it.”
I held it out of his reach. “I haven’t even read it yet. You can look over my shoulder.”
His smile was crooked. “Bossy.”
I unfolded the paper. It was soft from too much handling, as if it had been read every single day, like a favorite poem. But even I hadn’t read The Lady of Shalott enough to alter the paper it was printed on, and I knew it by heart.
Colin twitched his nose at the perfume. “Why do girls do that?”
“It’s a love letter,” I explained.
“She must have spilled an entire bottle on it.”
“Shhh,” I said softly. “Listen,” I added and began to read.
Dearest Reece,
I know you think it improper, or at the very least imprudent, for us to write to one another, but I don’t care. There are too many rules as it is and they would choke me if I let them. Between corsets and lessons and curtsies and etiquette, I am hardly myself, and that is how they want it. They would prefer we all dress and talk and think (or not think) alike, like paper dolls.
I do not wish to be a paper doll.
Surely you can see that I am stronger than that. I don’t give a fig for the scandalbroth or the gossipmongers. Let us remove to Paris, where no one knows us to care and where they dine on scandal with éclairs every morning.
You will say again that it is impossible but I refuse to believe it. I know with every touch of your hand on mine, with every stolen kiss, that nothing is impossible.
Perhaps love isn’t meant to be simple. Perhaps this is merely a test, such as Psyche went through to prove herself to Cupid. Would you have me count lentils, beloved?
And as you claim I have the most to lose, I pray you will let me decide for myself what it is I want and need.
Which is you.
Not silks or lobster soup in crystal bowls or diamonds around my neck.
Just you.
You say again and again that you love me.
Prove it.
I lowered the letter. “He’s in love.”
“I reckon that explains the mad weeping.”
I turned to stare at him. “This can’t be a coincidence. Rowena showed me a letter at the séance last night. She jilted Peter and wanted to marry someone else.”
He stared back. “Travis? Rowena Wentworth was in love with that morbid beanpole?”
“Perhaps he wasn’t morbid before she died.”
He shook his head. “Daft. She’s an heiress. I guess he was jealous she was going to marry Peter? Some lover.”
I shook my head slowly. “I don’t think that’s it. Her father gave her his permission,” I added, tapping the letter on my thigh. “So he can’t be the murderer. At least not for that reason.”
“Maybe she tired of him.”
“Maybe. Or maybe Peter found out and flew into the boughs. Elizabeth said he has a nasty temper.”
Colin frowned. “He’s a high flyer, no doubt. Going to be an earl and all that. His pride might’ve driven him off his nut when he found out.”
“How’s Caroline involved?” I wondered. “She lit that lamp on purpose. And Rowena threw a dead trout at her last night.”
“No wonder she chose you. Between pastries and fish, no one’s safe.”
A scratch at the door interrupted us. Colin dropped and rolled under the bed again. One of the maids poked her head in. “Miss?”
I tried not to look as if I was hiding a handsome young lad under the mattress.
“Yes?”
“Lord Jasper sent me up to see if you need help getting ready for the ball.” She smiled proudly. “I have a fair hand with a curling iron.”
“Oh. Thank you.” I needed to get Colin out before I ended up naked in the middle of my bedroom. “I, um, could I get some hot water? To wash my face?”
“Certainly, miss. I’ll have the footmen bring up the bathtub, if you like, before all the fine ladies start calling for their own baths.”
“That would be grand, thanks.” I’d never actually been in a full reclining tub before. We had a battered hip bath in the kitchen.
The maid curtsied and closed the door behind her. I let out a breath. Colin crawled back out. “They need to sweep under there,” he said, sneezing. “I’ll keep an eye on Peter for a while,” he added before slipping out of my room.
By the time I was bathed, coiffed with my hair in long ringlets, stuffed into a ball gown, and finally left alone in my chamber, I’d lost the rest of the afternoon. The ball was about to begin and I had no time to find Colin. Lord Jasper was waiting for me and I couldn’t be rude, not after everything he’d done for me. I’d have to put in an appearance and hope I could lose myself in the crowd as soon as possible.
The ballroom was even more sumptuously decorated than it was last week, with glass vases full of orchids and glass lanterns hung on jeweled chains from the painted ceiling. The orchestra was playing something liquid and beautiful, and couples danced in perfect circles. I curtsied to Lord Jasper, then kept my back to the wall, creeping behind the chairs set out for chaperones and wallflowers wishing someone would ask them to dance. I couldn’t see Elizabeth anywhere, or Peter, or even Tabitha—and she loved these events.
I snuck into the corridor, wondering what to do next.
And walked right into Mr. Travis.
“Miss Willoughby.”
He looked so weary and sad, I instantly felt sorry for him. In the space of one letter he’d turned from sinister to tragic. I felt horrid for stealing something so precious from him. I opened my reticule and pulled out the letter.
“I believe this is yours,” I said quietly.
He snatched it away instantly. “Where did you find this?”
“Was it from Rowena?”
He stilled in the act of putting it in the inside pocket of his formal coat. “What?”
“It’s all right. I won’t tell anyone,” I assured him, even as I watched for his reaction. He didn’t look guilty, just slightly bewildered.
“How did you know?” He grabbed my hand as if I’d made to walk away when I hadn’t actually moved. The music from the ballroom poured into the hall. “Can you really see her? I knew you could. Is she here now?” His eyes were a little wild.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “She’s not here. I can’t call her up at will. She’s very stubborn.”
He smiled his rare smile. “She was exceedingly stubborn. How else would an earl’s daughter make provisions to marry a tailor’s son with no bloodlines to speak of?”
“She loved you.”
“She didn’t drown,” he said grimly.
“I know,” I replied, equally grimly.
“But I have no proof. Even a year later.”
Before I could ask him any questions, a footman stopped in front of me, holding a silver tray. “Miss Willoughby?”
“Yes.”
He bowed. “A message for you, miss.” He lifted the tray to offer me a folded note with my name scrawled across the front. I took it, tendrils of curiosity and dread unfurling like a poisonous plant inside my belly. I skimmed it briefly, then frowned. “That’s odd.”
“What is it?”
“It’s from Caroline,” I said. “She’s waiting for me by the hedges out front.”
I rushed down the hall and pushed out of the front doors and past the flickering torches on the lawn on either side of the white gravel drive. I ran to the hedges where Caroline waited, Mr. Travis on my heels. Caroline’s hair was frizzing out of its strict bun and her eyes were wide with worry.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
“Please.” I could tell she was trying not to cry. “You have to come. It’s Tabitha.”