“What do you see happening, Amaia? Really. How are you going to be able to spend any length of time with him given his newfound knowledge and not reveal your secret? If he finds out that you’re a vampire, it’s incredibly dangerous for both of you.”
“I don’t have to let him know the truth. He knows he’s not a vampire. He’s going to assume that whatever is happening to him is happening to me. Besides, I’d like to know what he remembers. I have the memories of my life, and I wouldn’t mind knowing how he sees them. I thought I was in love with him once. I’d like to know how he made me think that. Maybe talking about our history openly will prevent this from happening again.”
Meg slowly shook her head with an expression that was part pity, part disbelief. “You’re going to go back to him and keep it purely about your mortal life?”
“Yes. Why not?”
“If it’s about your mortal life, then he’ll want to pick up where you two left off. He’s not going to accept simple friendship from you.”
“Well, he’s going to have to. It’s all he’s getting.”
“I worry about you.” Meg interlocked their fingers, using her other hand to rub Amaia’s arm as they walked.
“Don’t. I’m going to be fine.”
“The fact that you think so is what worries me. How can you be so na?ve?”
“I’m not na?ve.”
“Yes, you are. First, by thinking he’s going to be content with friendship. Second, by thinking for a moment that this isn’t a grave situation for both you and Michael. If Zenas finds out, he’ll do anything to put a stop to it, including killing you and him. He will not let you live.”
“He’s let Lawrence live, and he’s broken the rules plenty of times.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“One, Lawrence is his son. Two, Lawrence has never done anything that is such an abomination to our way of life. Zenas won’t tolerate it from you. He wouldn’t tolerate it from Lawrence either. Ask Lawrence if you have any doubt about that.”
“Why are you assuming he’s going to find out? Are you going to tell him?”
“Of course not. But if you lose control, the truth may come out. If Lawrence becomes suspicious, it wouldn’t take much for him to discover what’s happening. He’d be furious.”
Meg was right, as she often was. “I could transform him.”
“Without permission from Lawrence or Zenas? It would be better than your current situation, but not by much. Besides, he must be willing, otherwise he won’t drink the venom-blood. If you lay out our existence to him and he declines, you’ll have to kill him. Can you do that?”
No. It wasn’t even a question. Amaia could never again try to end Michael. He likely wouldn’t be receptive to transforming. He had too much faith in God. If he knew what she really was, he wouldn’t even want to be near her. There was no easy solution. Too many unknown variables.
Amaia shook her head. “You’re right, Meg. I don’t know what I’ve been thinking. I can’t see him again. Please forget I ever thought otherwise.”
“Of course. You’re practically my sister, Amaia.”
Arm in arm, they walked home. Just before they parted ways, Meg spoke.
“Out of curiosity, what was your mortal name?”
“Jocelyn. I was his Jocelyn.”
Chapter 26
Cluj, January 1723, 4 years, 5 months later
Warm blood painted the snow, melting divots into the perfect smoothness of the landscape. Amaia wasn’t usually so messy, but she had drunk her fill hours ago and didn’t mind a little waste. The way the sun shone down on the snow made the blood sparkle. It was lovely.
She had done it. She had stayed away, killing to distract herself from Michael’s energy. The three bodies sprawled in front of her were a group of friends, young men daring each other to stay in the haunted wood as long as possible. They should have listened to the townsfolk’s stories. Normally it didn’t take so many, especially so close together, but today was different. Her heart still felt the pull, but she couldn’t think about Michael, tending his goats, searching the horizon for her form. Those thoughts would move her feet south. She needed blood, the thrill of the kill to drown out anything else.
Michael’s eyes appeared, their gray depths full of sorrow, calling her to come to him, to fulfill her promise. Ever since he had recognized her, she saw herself reflected back in his eyes. She shook her head. It still wasn’t enough. Her ears focused on the sound of another human in the forest.