Oh, hell, no, she wasn’t falling into that trap. “Better than how he currently lives.”
When Azagoth smiled, she let out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Fine. He can have whatever he wants for his home.”
She almost pointed out that his home was a damned crypt, but she figured that would be pushing it. So for today, she accepted the victory.
But she wasn’t done. Hades had fought for her, and now it was time for her to do the same for him.
First, though, she had someone to see.
Chapter Seventeen
“Can I talk to you?”
Cat stood in the doorway of Zhubaal’s office in the Unfallen dorms, her stomach churning a little. She really didn’t want to be having this conversation, but curiosity had always been her downfall. Like a real cat.
Zhubaal had been gazing out the window at the courtyard below where several Unfallen were playing a game of volleyball, but now he turned to her, his handsome face a mask of indifference. “About what?”
“I want to know why, ah...” Man, this was awkward. “That day, in your chambers...”
Leaning against the windowsill, he crossed his booted feet at the ankles and hooked his thumbs in his jeans’ pockets. “You want to know why I refused sex with you.”
Her cheeks heated. That had been a seriously humiliating thing. “Yes. Did I do something wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I had my reasons.”
She probably shouldn’t ask, but... “Can you tell me those reasons?”
He stood there for a long time, his expression stony, his mouth little more than a grim slash. Finally, when it became clear that he wasn’t going to say anything, she shook her head and started to turn away.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I had no right to ask.”
She headed down the hall, made it about ten steps when he said, “I’m waiting for someone.”
Oh. She pivoted around to him as he stood just outside his office door. “Someone you know? You have a lover? A mate?”
He averted his gaze, and she realized that in all the months she’d known him, this was the first time he’d shown any vulnerability. “Not exactly.”
Not wanting to ruin the moment, she took a few slow, careful steps toward him, approaching the way she might a feral dog. “Did...did Azagoth warn you to stay away from me?”
“No.”
That seemed strange, given that he’d read Hades the riot act. “Why not?”
Gaze still locked on the floor, he replied, “Because he knows about my vow.”
“What vow?”
“That,” he said, his head snapping up, “is none of your business.
Touchy. But now she was curious. What kind of vow? She recalled his interactions with the resident Unfallen and all the visitors to the realm and realized that she’d never once seen Zhubaal with a female.
“Are you gay?”
He snorted. “Hardly.”
Come to think of it, she’d never seen him with a male, either. So what was his deal? He was waiting for someone...someone specific? Was his vow––
She inhaled sharply. “You...you’re a virgin, aren’t you? You rejected me out of honor.”
His gaze narrowed, and his lips twisted into a nasty sneer. “Do not confuse my lack of sexual experience with innocence or kindness, and especially not honor. Not when you tried to use me to rid yourself of your own virginity.”
“I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I’ll just go now. But Zhubaal...I hope you find whoever it is you’re waiting for.”
As she hurried away, she swore she heard a soft, “I hope so, too.”
Zhubaal watched Cat disappear around a corner, his heart heavy, his body numb. She had been his single moment of weakness, the only one in nearly a century.
It had been ninety-eight years since his beloved angel, Laura, had been cast out of Heaven. Ninety-eight years of searching for her in Sheoul and getting his own Heavenly boot in the ass in the process.
Cat had come to him in a moment of weakness, on a day when he’d despaired that he’d never find Laura. But even as he’d kissed Cat, touched her, started to undress her, Laura had filled his thoughts.
As young angels, he and Laura had made a blood-pact to be each other’s firsts, and he’d kept that vow, even after she lost her wings. He’d searched for her, eventually losing his own wings, but still, he remained faithful. And then, even after he discovered that she’d been slaughtered by an angel, he’d held onto that pact like a toddler with his comfy blankie. After all, her soul had been sent to Sheoul-gra, and he’d figured he could find her there, even if he had to get himself killed to do it.
At least they’d have been together in the Inner Sanctum.
But fate had intervened in the form of Azagoth, who had needed a new assistant, which gave Zhubaal access to privileged information about the residents of the Inner Sanctum.
Then fate threw him a curve ball.
He was too late.