chapter 19
I was ready to go back to school the next day. I got a lot of stares in my direction, but I clutched my books to my chest and did my best to ignore them. In Gym class, Coach insisted that I sit out even though I told her I was fine. I peered across the floor to the spot where I had fallen. The blood was all cleaned up, of course, but I could almost see it, a shiny crimson puddle.
I didn't even look at Lainey and she ignored me in kind.
At lunch, even though Theo had to serve her unfair lunch detention, I still sat in our spot against the wall, enjoying my Spooky Spaghetti in peace. Theo had gathered up my homework from the day before and I was trying to blow through it as fast as possible, not wanting to fall behind.
Henry suddenly crouched down in front of me. Oh no. I hadn't wanted him to see me like this. Calling was one thing, but seeing the actual nose brokenness...
"Hi," I said, embarrassed and trying to duck my head.
He remained where he was, shaking his head back and forth slowly. That didn't instill a lot of confidence. "They weren't kidding."
I wished he would stop looking at my face.
"What did the doctor say?" he asked.
"I'm fine. It's not even broken. Just looks ugly," I muttered.
"Oh shut up," he scoffed lightly. "You're always beautiful, this doesn't change that fact."
A thrill rushed through my blood. He patted my nose with gentle fingers. I thought I had imagined him saying it. My heart was dancing out a contorted rhythm underneath my shirt.
"Did they give you painkillers?"
I nodded.
"Sweet," he said, grinning. "Gotta look at the benefits, right?"
"Right," I said. I wanted urgently to kiss him again, even if it was in the middle of the noisy commons. But that seemed like a long time ago. Even though it was the most recent of many times that I thought our relationship, as it were, had finally progressed into something more than friends, I wondered if I had imagined that, too.
Although Lainey and Madison carried on relentlessly with their missing girl's committee, stopping people in the hallways and handing out information cards, not much came from it. I wished that I had seen more when I saw the ghost of the girl, and now it nagged at me. Was she the one who had been following me? There had been no more noises in my room...did the séance actually dispel the spirit? And why was she appearing to me, anyway?
In homeroom, a girl who sat behind me was talking about how her father ran the police department tip site.
"The missing child inquiry is clogged," she said. I listened intently without turning around. "They've been getting a bunch of false leads and prank submissions, hundreds that they have to sort through a day."
I knew that Jenna's own fanpage had blown up with posts from various people with clues and bogus "tips". At first I had been extremely excited, until I started scrolling through them and saw that it was a bunch of garbage. The page had been cleared out and shut down, with a note to contact the Hell Police Department directly.
I tried not to look at the flyers, but I gravitated towards them. Jenna's face seemed to follow me everywhere. On the paper, her eyes reminded me of how black they were in my vision.
The lights began flickering often in school, and no one could figure out the cause of it. Which drove everyone nuts, especially the teachers. The electricians still hadn't been called, and even though we kept hearing it would happen during the morning announcements, there was always an excuse as to why it didn't happen.
"This is no way to conduct school," Warwick muttered after another blackout. The only teacher who didn't seem to be affected was Ms. Fellows. Her projector would shut off, and she would merely stare at the roll down screen, blinking, until the power came back on.
After class late in the week, Mr. Warwick pulled me aside. My nose was healing pretty fast, although it was so still so bruised that concealer hardly made a difference.
"Great job on the test, Ariel, really," he said. I had gotten an A on practically every assignment I'd done in History, but it still gave me an accomplished feeling. Seeing the big red letter on the page brought me back to first grade, when we would get check marks or minuses. I always felt smart when I'd get those little checks.
He sat on the edge of his desk, looking at me expectantly. Warwick was the same age as my dad, which made sense considering they went to school together forever ago. His cautious gray eyes analyzed my face. He was familiar to me, but at the same time cut off, sort of in the same way Aunt Corinne was.
"It must be hard for you," he said finally, crossing his arms. The pale blue stripes on his shirt contorted and twisted at odd angles.
"What's hard for me?" I asked. My eyes found the globe behind his shoulder and focused there, picking out England, Spain, China.
"Seeing your friend's face all over school," he said. "You've been doing great in my class, but I can tell that you're upset. You don't interact much with the other students. You don't ever raise your hand even though I know you know the answers."
"I don't have anything to say," I said, shifting my binder from one arm to the other. I was very uncomfortable with heartfelt talks. My heart could stay right off my sleeve and inside my chest. "I prefer to write my answers down."
"I just wanted to let you know if you ever need anything, there are people you can trust here. I'm one of them. Your dad and I have been friends for many years," he said. "You could tell me anything that was bothering you."
I mumbled my appreciation, looking at the floor. I was suddenly feeling weirded out, and I didn't know why.
"Thanks," I said.
"So is there anything you want to share?" he asked. There was an unusual twinkle in his yes I'd never seen before. I didn't want to say anything.
"No, not right now," I said.
"Okay," he said, jumping off of his desk. "Just wanted to let you know that I was there. Go on off to class now, I'll write you a hall pass."
I took the pass and walked out of his classroom. In all honesty, I couldn't stand being treated like that, even if it was from someone who cared. I wondered if that made me a bad person.
Would it always be this way? Would I be getting print outs in the mail in ten years, age progressed to make Jenna look like she was twenty-five? Maybe I would never know what happened to her.
Before school on Friday, I waited at a table for Theo in the commons before first bell. We were going to quiz each other for math since we both had Geometry, and there was another big test today. Mr. Vanderlip seemed fonder of tests and quizzes than he was of his chalk.
But Theo didn't show. I flipped through my flashcards absently, hoping I was prepared enough. I had been up on the phone for an hour last night with Henry, his soothing voice asking me questions and nearly lulling me into a trance.
A few minutes before the bell rang, my phone beeped a text alert. It was Theo, saying I'm not coming to school, I'm sick. Doctor's office. Sorry! Hope test goes okay. Theo texted novels the same way I did. She had been complaining of the sniffles and a sore throat yesterday, I recalled. I sent her a get well text back and went to class.
I was happy I had Geometry first hour, only because I could get the test out of the way so it wouldn't be on my mind all day. I was confident I more than passed, but didn't want to speculate. More than anything I just felt relieved. I didn't celebrate until I received the paper back with the grade on it.
I missed Theo in gym, although luckily we were only doing yoga poses led by a college instructor, so we kept busy. The lesson was complete with new age music. I was jealous of Lainey's flexibility as I wobbled from one pose to another. She was still pretending I didn't exist, which was a relief as well. I wondered if her parents had coached her on ways to avoid retaliation for my still-bruised nose.
In Art, the empty seat that Theo usually occupied made me lonely. I felt selfish depending on another person so much for companionship, but it had helped so much to pull me out of my introverted state. Theo was so different from Jenna in so many ways, but we had already become quite close friends when I wasn't paying attention. Part of me felt like I was betraying Jenna by moving on. But part of me argued that perhaps she had betrayed me.
Art class itself had taken on a relaxing atmosphere. We were still deep in free painting, and now that I didn’t take my attempts at art so seriously, I was actually enjoying myself.
I picked up my brush and dipped the end in brown paint, working on a ropey-looking horse's tail. In actuality it looked more like a camel than a horse.
Henry seemed tense, shifting around in his seat. Without Theo there, I didn't check myself in looking at him. Twenty minutes into the hour-long class, he got up and asked Ms. Vore for hallway permission. Since I pretty much always involuntarily looked at him whenever he moved, I gazed up at him and was surprised to see him staring intently at me. Either me, or the poster behind me of the talking pencil. He didn't smile like he normally did when our eyes met. What was going on with him?
He left the room, and didn't come back. I couldn't help checking the clock as the minutes ticked by. Ms. Vore was too busy helping other students with their paintings to notice.
Out of nowhere, the fire alarm started blaring. It was so loud my ears hurt. I dropped the paintbrush in my rush to cover my ears. The muddy paint made a splotch on the floor.
"Okay, everybody, let's go," Ms. Vore said calmly, already standing at the door. Everyone lined up, shuffling out into the hall. Our teacher remained as unruffled as could be, although I saw her push her glasses up her nose and it reminded me of Theo.
I followed the quiet procession of kids, strangely somber. I was the last in line since I sat in the back corner. But as we were heading down the hall towards the exit, I imagined I heard someone calling to me from down the hall. It wasn't the same voice that had called me when I saw the little girl, but it was almost an echo of that. The same strange urge that I was being pulled manifested again.
I suddenly had to find Henry. He could be in danger.
I ran down the hallway. Ms. Vore didn't notice me because she was already at the exit. I walked quickly, swinging my arms to propel me forward, hoping I could find him fast and get out. I had no idea what had caused the fire alarm to go off, but it couldn't be good.
Further into the school, the electricity suddenly went out. I froze, skidding to a stop and almost falling over. Of course today would be the day I didn't wear sneakers, the impracticality of the heeled boots on my feet never occurring to me.
The red emergency backups came on, but then they shorted out, as well, and I was left in soupy, gray darkness. I cursed the school's cheap budget for not fixing their real problems, especially when it seemed so easy for them to add more volleyball courts or basketball hoops.
Even though I had spent many months in these halls, I became lost. I didn't know which way to follow. Everything felt too real, my vision wobbly and at the same time too sharp in the dark. Like watching a documentary.
I spun around, not knowing where I was. Why did I insist on being so impulsive? I patted my pockets for my phone, realizing I had left it back in my bag in the art room. Panic seized me, my heart beating wildly, and felt as though I would jump out of my skin.
I crept down the hall, even as I had the urge to run. Shadows had taken on form, like living things. It was as if the insides of the school had changed, warped. Hallways seemed different. Common landmarks had lost their meaning.
I turned a corner, and bumped hard into someone. I started to fall. Whoever it was grabbed my forearms and lifted me up before I hit the ground.
"Careful," a familiar male voice said, and I recognized with immediate relief who it was.
"Henry," I moaned. It came out more passionate than I intended.
"Ariel?" he asked with concern, looking into my face. I had no idea how he could see me in the dark. But then I realized I could see his face now, too, more familiar than my own. The red emergency lights were back on. I frowned.
"You're not supposed to be here," he said softly. Neither are you, I thought immediately, but did not say.
A blast of fire erupted from my left. It was the basement access door; I could see the sign above the orange flames. He grabbed my hand and we rushed past it, running down the hallway. I quickly knew where I was again as we passed my homeroom, and couldn't believe I would have ever gotten so lost. There was another fire in a classroom to our right, smoke pouring out into the hall and stinging my eyes.
We burst out through the vestibule and outside. The afternoon sun stabbed my eyes. The lawn was covered with students, a chorus of voices talking on cell phones and with each other. A fire truck was parked in front and firemen in yellow reflective jackets lined up to go inside. They staked out the area, communicating with one another on walkie-talkies.
McPherson spotted us and began stomping up the stairs, face purple with fury. Henry dropped my hand without looking down. It felt so empty.
"And so the trouble begins," he whispered under his breath.
"What the hell were you doing still inside?" McPherson hissed, looking at Henry. Then he turned at me and glared. I resisted the urge to cower. McPherson's moustache was trying to meet his eyebrows. I didn't know that it was actually possibly for a person's face to be that color. "What a surprise that you of all people would be caught where she shouldn't be."
I didn't like the implication.
Henry stepped forward. "If you really need to discuss this further, you can speak to my father. You have his number, correct? Or do you need his card?" He had affected an almost snotty tone that I'd never heard out of his mouth before. It both impressed and confused me.
McPherson stood still as a statue, at a loss for words. Henry placed his hands on my shoulders, leading me down the stairs and into the crowd.
"Walk over by that tree, there's an empty spot," he whispered in my ear. I melted a little, feeling his breath on my neck.
"I didn't need you to save me," I said finally when we were out in the crowd. But he wasn't looking at me. He was distracted by something. I looked at his face, the one I had secretly studied countless times as he sat on the den couch in my house. I knew his right nostril was a fraction bigger than his left one, and one of his canine teeth had a small chip. And I could tell he was keeping something from me.
"So what did you have to do with the fire?" The words were out of my mouth before I knew I was thinking them. Of course it made perfectly logical sense now that I said it. He had plenty of time to set them when he left the classroom.
"Why would you think I have anything to do with this?" he asked, his voice too innocent. He wasn't as good of an actor as he thought he was, and it didn't help that he couldn't look at me, still gazing off into the sea of students. It was as if the rules had reversed, and he was the avoidant one. That part he performed expertly. The openness that was normally all him had disappeared.
"What's the matter with you?" I asked, peering again at his face, trying to catch his eyes.
"There's nothing," was his only answer. The way he was avoiding me reminded me painfully of Jenna's transformation, and panic flared illogically inside me. It was no big deal, I assured myself. He was just freaked out. Regular Henry would return soon, the one that I knew, the one that cared about me.
"I have to go," he said, and prepared to jog off, when he finally looked at me. He paused, and tilted his head.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
Now that he mentioned it, I was starting to feel really sick. My throat was sore and I could hardly breathe through my still-sensitive nose. My eyes were watering like I had hay fever. In the sun, I could barely keep my eyes open.
"Actually, I feel sort of crappy," I admitted. "I didn't think I inhaled that much smoke. I still have trouble with my nose."
He looked conflicted for a moment, emotions playing on his features. "Well...take care of yourself," he said cryptically, and left me behind as he walked away.
The firemen had headed inside while I was trying to decode Henry. Smoke was billowing out of some of the front windows where we had been a few minutes earlier. I watched as the spray from their hoses doused the impending blaze.
I wandered around and found Ms. Vore's class fairly easily, hiding near the back. I hoped my absence had not been noticed, but I couldn't tell for sure.
After the fire had been put out, we were allowed ten minutes to go in and get our things, as long as we stayed with our teachers. School was supposed to be dismissed a few minutes earlier, but in the confusion no one had said anything. Parents were showing up scared, worried about bomb threats and phantom explosions.
I went inside to get my backpack. Henry was nowhere to be found; his books were already gone. I was feeling progressively worse, both physically and mentally, with all the questions running through my head. McPherson was wandering around doing damage control out in the hall; the sound of his voice made me anxious, like I was about to be captured.
As I slung my bag over my shoulders and tried to leave the classroom, Lainey stuck her arm out, blocking the exit. I hadn't even realized she was still in the room.
"I'm only going to tell you this once," she said. "It's silly that I have to tell you, because I thought I already made myself clear. Leave Henry alone."
"What?" I asked, stupefied.
"You heard me," she spat, showing every perfect, shiny-enameled white tooth in her mouth as she snarled. "You are not one of us. You don't belong. Obviously, even Jenna realized it when she dumped you."
I could have slapped her. I clenched my fists instead. "What if he doesn't want you?" My mind screamed. But I was not that brave, and feeling sick made it even worse. I just nodded meekly and let it go, ashamed of myself.
For a moment, it almost looked as if Lainey was going to spit on me, but she turned and walked away, her heels clicking loudly down the hall.
The sobs trapped in my chest made it harder to breathe. I realized that Lainey scared me, something I had never really put together before. She had already broken my nose and gotten away with it. What else would she do?
Ms. Vore came back into the classroom then, and saw me. I must not have looked well.
"You look like you're about to pass out Ariel," she said, steadying my limp shoulders with her hands.
"Just the smoke," I said, looking away and sniffling as my nose started to run. It must have looked like I was tearing up, even though it was due to whatever was wreaking havoc with my sinuses.
"How about I walk you out?" she suggested softly. I nodded. She grabbed a patterned bag full of sketchbooks from the back of her chair and slung it on her hip, flipping off the classroom light.
"How is Theo doing?" I asked as we walked.
"She's alright. She has the flu, and her dad's taking care of her since he works from home," she explained, tucking her short brown hair behind her ears.
"Theo told me about him," I said. "How he lives right down the street, right? What does he do?"
"He makes wooden sculptures and sells them online," she said, shrugging. "It's a living. Anyway, I think you might want to head to the doctor yourself, honey. You look like you've got the flu, too."
I groaned and palmed my face. Of course, I was coming down with the flu. "I don't know why I didn't think about that. We spend so much time together now..."
"I've noticed that," she said. "I wanted to tell you I'm really grateful that you took her under your wing." It didn't seem that way to me, at all. As far as I was concerned, Theo helped save me.
"She was really depressed for a while, especially before we moved out here," she explained. "And in the meantime I thought I was moving here for her benefit. I'm just really glad she made such a good friend."
We continued walking through the hall silently. I just wanted to be at home and sleep, but I tried to keep up. It meant a lot to have a friend's parent actually like me, and not think I was either a bad influence or roadkill.
"I know it wasn't very fair of me to call you out for looking at your boyfriend," she said out of the blue. I had nearly forgotten the incident in the months since, but I looked at her, neglecting to correct the "boyfriend" part.
Her face was solemn. "It's just that you have vision, and if you only stop yourself from being distracted by silly school stuff, you'll go far. I know that's silly for me to say, that it all will pass, but it will, even though the easiest thing to do sometimes is to get caught up in it."
"My art isn't exactly good," I countered shyly. "Or really, even art."
"Maybe you won't win any awards any time soon," she conceded. "But you do have an eye for seeing things in a new perspective."
We had reached the front doors of the school, where the fire truck was still waiting outside. I was not in the mood to have to walk home, but I braced myself anyway.
"Do you need a ride?" she offered. I nodded, grateful. I was already sweating through my coat and I shifted uncomfortably.
I didn't remember much of the ride home, trying my best to stay alert. When we pulled into my driveway, I stepped out of Ms. Vore's car.
"Tell Theo I said feel better," I told her. "I've already said it a few times, but more won't hurt. And...thank you." She nodded, smiling, and pulled into her own driveway.
I walked in through the front door, not able to make myself go around the back, and chucked my backpack by the doorway. I rubbed my temples, which were throbbing in time to music on TV.
Hugh came out of the den with a stack of books in his hand. "What's up?" he asked. "No more sports incidents, I hope."
"I think I have the flu," I groaned. I swayed on my feet and headed for the couch, pulling the quilt on top of me and yanking it up to my chin. I still had my shoes on.
Hugh came back in with the thermometer. I started to tell him about the fire at school, but it came out like gibberish. He was even more concerned when he saw the 103.1 fever. Next I was aware, he was on the phone with the pediatrician. He told me if my fever didn't go down significantly tonight, we should head to urgent care, and gave me some Tylenol. Hugh always got very nervous when I was even the least bit sick, ever since I was a little girl. I closed my eyes and fell asleep, burrowing under the blankets, my mind a peaceful blank sheet.