chapter twelve
Ethan and I waited in Kimber’s apartment until she’d been gone about five minutes. My every nerve was aware of him, but he paid almost no attention to me, his eyes fixed on the slight gap between the drapes that covered Kimber’s window. I sat on the edge of Kimber’s bed, my hands clasped in my lap, my heart beating just a bit too fast. I wasn’t even sure if my nerves were because of Ethan, or because of our escape attempt.
“Let’s go,” Ethan said briskly when he felt sure Kimber had successfully lured her watcher away.
I followed him through the apartment toward the front door, having to almost run to keep up. “Where are we going?” I finally found the guts to ask.
He held the door for me so I could step out first, then closed it and made a subtle hand motion. I heard the lock click shut.
“You’ll have to trust me on this,” Ethan said, taking my hand and leading me down the stairs to the courtyard.
The feel of his hand on mine was enough to strike me speechless, and I barely heard what he said. Of course, he was just holding my hand because he was leading me. It wasn’t an intimate gesture, and it was wishful thinking for me to read anything into it. At least, that’s what I told myself.
His words didn’t register until we stopped right by the section of flagstones that covered the opening into the tunnels.
“Oh, hell no!” I said, and tried to yank my hand out of his.
Of course, he didn’t let go. “We’re not going back to the cave,” he assured me. He mumbled something under his breath, and the flagstones moved aside.
I glanced up at the windows all around us. There were lights on in many of them, since it wasn’t the dead of night like it was the last time we’d gone into the tunnels. “How many people do you suppose are watching us right now?” I asked, giving my hand another experimental tug, but he held on.
“It doesn’t matter. The tunnels are something of an open secret. They’re also vast, so if someone tells Grace we’ve gone into the tunnels, it won’t be enough to go on.”
“What about the Spriggans?” I asked.
“We took care of the problem last night,” he assured me. “They may not have as much trouble sneaking into Avalon as humans do, but I seriously doubt someone would send them in two nights in a row. Now come on! Unless you want us still to be standing here arguing when Kimber and her tail come back.”
To say I didn’t like it was an understatement, but I had to admit I was feeling awfully vulnerable standing out here in the open. Gritting my teeth, I nodded, and Ethan finally let go of my hand so I could climb down the ladder.
The flagstones had sealed off the opening above us by the time my feet hit the floor of the tunnel. It was pitch dark, except for the thin beam coming from the flashlight Ethan held in one hand. I moved out of the way, and Ethan jumped from about halfway down the ladder, landing lightly. A human probably would have at least sprained an ankle trying a maneuver like that.
I had a sudden flash to today’s magic lesson with Kimber, and it didn’t add up with what I’d just seen.
“Last night, you didn’t say any kind of spell to open the hatch,” I said. “Why did you have to tonight?”
“I’m still working on doing nonverbal spells,” he said. “It’s a lot harder, and it takes a lot out of me.” He looked uncommonly serious. “That’s why I couldn’t do a better job of healing last night. If I’d just opened the hatch the easy way…” He shrugged, not finishing his sentence.
I think I was supposed to say something to let him off the hook, but I remembered how he’d rubbed Kimber’s face in it when he was showboating last night, and I figured he deserved to stew a bit. No matter how hot he was.
When I didn’t say anything, there was an awkward silence, but Ethan broke the awkwardness soon enough by leading the way into the heart of the mountain once more.
Yesterday, we’d gone straight for a long way before we’d veered off toward the cave. Today, we took a side tunnel almost immediately, then took another, and another, until I was so thoroughly turned around I didn’t have a clue where I was. I couldn’t help wondering if that was by design. Was Ethan trying to make sure I couldn’t get out of here without help?
So far, the only sign I’d seen that the tunnels weren’t completely deserted had been the Underground’s cave, but Ethan’s and my path tonight led to a very different part of the tunnel system. We rounded a corner, and suddenly the tunnel widened significantly and was illuminated by electric lights. A broad stairway led up to what I presumed was the surface, and a steady stream of people went up and down that stairway. Their voices echoed in the enclosed space, but I could hear the muffled sound of loud music over those voices, and I could feel the beat vibrating the floor under my feet.
“There’s a great nightclub down there,” Ethan said, pointing to another stairway leading down. A neon sign over the stairway declared This Way to the deep, with a flashing arrow. “I’ll have to take you there someday when things settle down.”
I wasn’t sure what to say about that. It sounded almost like he was asking me on a date. I frowned. Actually, there wasn’t really any asking going on.
Before I finished over-analyzing that one simple sentence, Ethan guided me down yet another branch of the tunnel, and we were back into dark, creepy, claustrophobic territory. I tried my best to keep track of our route after that so I could make my way back to the stairway to the surface if necessary.
We walked for about fifteen more minutes, only making two turns—few enough that even I might have a chance of navigating my way out.
Eventually, we came to a stop in the middle of a tunnel that looked like every other deserted tunnel I’d seen so far. I looked in both directions, but couldn’t see anything special about this spot.
Then Ethan muttered something. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn he said “Open sesame,” but that must just have been the unsettling echoes.
A door-shaped opening appeared in the wall out of nowhere. I blinked.
“It’s an illusion spell,” Ethan said, a hint of pride in his voice. “No one traveling down this tunnel would have any idea the doorway was here.”
He gestured me in with a dramatic sweep of his arm, and I gingerly stepped through the space where moments ago there had been a wall. I half expected the wall to reappear when I was partway through, but it didn’t.
The room behind the illusionary wall didn’t exactly make me jump for joy. It was about the size of Kimber’s bedroom, and the only furniture was a pair of cots, a card table, and a pair of folding chairs, unless you counted the large steamer trunk in the corner as furniture. Other than the meager furniture, there was a kerosene lamp on the table and a couple of ceramic pots, one under each bed.
“Tell me those aren’t chamber pots!” I said as Ethan lit the lamp.
He gave me a sheepish smile over his shoulder. “This is only temporary,” he promised. “As you’ve seen, there are places underground that have electricity and running water, but those aren’t as well hidden.”
“What is this place?” I asked.
Ethan finished lighting the lamp and turned off his flashlight. “One of the things the Underground does is try to help people who have certain, er, political problems. Sometimes, they need a place to hide out awhile. It’s not luxurious, but no one—and nothing—is going to find you here.”
My eyes started to sting, and I bit my lip hard to keep it from quivering. This little hideout could have doubled for a dungeon in some old historical movie. The bleakness of the space hammered home the bleakness of my situation. I’d always coped with stress by putting off my reactions until after the crisis was over, but since I’d set foot in Avalon, there’d been one crisis after another, and my control was seriously slipping.
Ethan crossed the distance between us in one long stride, and before I had any idea what he was going to do, he had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.
“Don’t cry,” he murmured into my hair. “It’s just until your father gets out of jail. It won’t be more than a night or two, tops. And I’m not going to abandon you down here. We’re in this together.”
I thought about what it would be like if Ethan left me alone here, and that was enough to break through my resistance to crying. As much as I didn’t like to admit it, it felt good to have him hold me. Tears slid down my cheeks, and I clung to Ethan almost desperately. He scooped me up into his arms, then set me down on one of the cots, practically on his lap. He was still holding me, one hand cupping the side of my head so that my face was pressed up against his chest, the other rubbing up and down my back.
His caresses were distracting enough that I slowly forgot my distress at my surroundings. The air in the tunnels was chilly, but Ethan’s body was warm and cozy. And he smelled yummy. He was wearing some kind of cologne. Subtle, but with a spicy, earthy scent. I inhaled deeply, partly to help dispel the tears, partly because I wanted another sniff of his scent.
He pulled me all the way onto his lap, and I didn’t think this was a “please don’t cry” hug anymore. I swallowed hard, my pulse racing as I wondered what was going to happen next. Should I just be sitting here with my face buried in his chest? Should I raise my head so he could kiss me?
Or should I already be halfway across the room telling him to keep his hands to himself?
I’ve never been an indecisive person before in my life, but Ethan had my brain cells so scrambled that I couldn’t do anything but sit there, the wheels of my mind spinning uselessly. His chin rubbed back and forth across the top of my head, his hands kneading the muscles of my back. Under different circumstances, I might have thought he was trying to be soothing, but with my head against his chest like that, I could hear the acceleration of his heartbeat. I practically held my breath in anticipation, my pulse ratcheting up to match his. I pressed closer to his warmth.
I guess I was pretty tense, because Ethan chuckled softly, the sound making my insides go squishy.
“Relax, Dana,” he said. “I don’t bite. And I promise not to ravish you.”
The heat in my cheeks was practically enough to burn through his shirt. Bad enough that I was so nervous, but even worse that he knew it. And he was laughing at me.
Okay, he was laughing at me while he still had his arms around me, but still …
I forced myself to release the breath I was holding. “I, um … I’m only sixteen,” I said. “This is kinda new to me.” And I wasn’t sure how much an eighteen-year-old guy would expect out of me. I mean, he was basically an adult, and I was … not.
“No worries,” he assured me. “Sixteen isn’t that far in my past. I remember what it’s like.”
I sincerely doubted he’d been anything like me when he was sixteen. He had too much easy confidence for me ever to believe he’d been shy around girls. But it was nice of him to try to make me feel better.
“I take it you don’t have a boyfriend?” he asked.
I was afraid to speak because I might say something stupid, so I just shook my head. He put a finger under my chin and tilted my head up toward him. My breath caught in my throat, and a pleasant shiver trailed down my spine. His eyes, usually so light in color, were made dark by his enlarged pupils, and he was looking at me like I was a piece of candy he was just dying to eat.
He lowered his head and pressed his lips against mine.
My brain went into complete overload. Ethan’s lips were warm and moist as they caressed mine, and he tasted oddly of cherries. I tried to mirror his movements, but I felt completely awkward, sure I wasn’t doing this right.
His tongue brushed against the seam of my lips until I opened my mouth. He deepened our kiss, and I practically drowned in the taste and the feel and the smell of him. But hot as he was, as attracted as I was to him, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be going down this road. I was alone with him in a secluded cave, and I was kissing him, and I felt how much he was enjoying himself, and I didn’t know him well enough to be sure he’d stop when I wanted him to.
Ethan broke off the kiss and gently stroked some hair away from my face. I was so confused and embarrassed I didn’t want to meet his gaze, but I found I couldn’t look away. He smiled at me.
“You need to stop thinking so much,” he said in a hypnotic murmur as he leaned in for another kiss.
I don’t know where I found the courage to speak, but I did. “My mom decided not to think too much when she was with my dad, and that didn’t turn out so well.”
Ethan chuckled and pulled back. “I beg to differ,” he said, his hand tracing the contours of my face, then brushing lightly down the column of my neck. “I think it turned out very well indeed.”
It was a good line, and I felt myself flush with pleasure. A part of me was jumping up and down and screaming “don’t be such a baby!” It was, after all, just a kiss.
But I couldn’t help remembering Kimber’s warnings. Ethan was a player, and no matter how hot he was, I didn’t want to be his toy.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said, and I tried to slide off his lap.
I wasn’t completely shocked when his hold on me tightened. “You don’t have to be afraid of me,” he said.
It was another good line. Striking at my vanity, daring me to prove I wasn’t afraid. But it was much too obviously a line, and I wasn’t about to fall for it.
“Let go of me.” I said it calmly, though there was a hint of panic in my core. If he wanted to press the issue, I’d be in no position to stop him. So I guess technically, yeah, I was a bit afraid of him.
I was all tensed up for battle, so I was pleasantly surprised when Ethan slid me off his lap and put some distance between us. He didn’t even look annoyed with me.
“Better?” he asked, with one of his lopsided grins.
I doubted he was used to being turned down by anyone, but it sure seemed like he was taking it in stride. Which made me feel guilty for being so suspicious. If he were really playing me, surely he wouldn’t have let me go so easily.
I let out a frustrated huff. Maybe he was right that I should stop thinking so much. But I didn’t know how to turn it off. I clasped my hands in my lap and stared at them, wondering what was wrong with me. When a guy like Ethan kissed me, I should turn into a puddle of goo, not analyze it half to death. Maybe I was frigid.
“Don’t look so miserable,” Ethan said. “You’re allowed to say no.”
I risked a glance at him, and still saw no sign of annoyance or frustration on his face.
Then—totally against my will, I swear—my eyes darted downward, and I could see that, while he wasn’t acting angry or anything, he was still real eager for my no to change to a yes. Naturally, I looked away quickly, but my face heated with yet another blush.
In one of her sober moments, when my mom had insisted we have “the talk” despite the fact that I’d known about the birds and the bees practically forever, she’d warned me that boys like to claim they are in dire pain when they are that excited and you don’t put out. Since I was sure Ethan had noticed the direction of my gaze, and he’d have to be blind not to see how hard I was blushing, I thought now would be the perfect time for him to start laying on a guilt trip. But he didn’t.
Ethan laughed, but it was a warm, friendly sound with no hint of mockery in it. “It won’t kill me,” he said. “And remember, I promised I wasn’t going to take advantage of you. I keep my promises. All I wanted was to kiss you.”
“Really?” I asked, and I’m sure I sounded as incredulous as I felt. I glanced at him through my eyelashes.
“Why would you find that so hard to believe?”
“Well, uh. You’re … uh, older than me. And, uh…” Oh God, please kill me now. I didn’t want to be having this conversation, and I surely didn’t want to be making such a fool of myself. But my brain hadn’t recovered from its earlier shutdown, and I couldn’t seem to get a coherent sentence out of my mouth.
Ethan put me out of my misery by saying what I’d been too prudish to say. “Just because I’m not a virgin doesn’t mean kissing has become only a means to an end. Believe it or not, I actually find it’s nice all by itself.” He gave me one of those sexy, quirky grins of his, and it made my insides flutter.
“So all you want is a kiss?” I asked. A little voice in my head said I was heading for one of those slippery slopes. I told the little voice to shut up.
“Well, maybe more than one. But basically, yeah.”
Still, I hesitated.
“Look,” he said, “if I try to push you to do something you don’t want, you’ll balk, and then you’ll never trust me again. I’m not going to risk that.”
My shoulders sagged a bit. It got real tiring, being on the defensive all the time, always keeping my eyes open for potential threats. I’d had to do it for as long as I could remember, because there was no way I could trust my mom to protect us. I was sick of it, and part of the reason I’d come to Avalon was to try to get away from that constant, ponderous weight of responsibility. So to hell with Kimber’s warnings, and to hell with my own misgivings!
I raised my chin and made myself look straight into Ethan’s eyes as if I had all the courage in the world. “All right.”
I didn’t sit on Ethan’s lap this time, just sidled up beside him and offered up my mouth. When his lips touched mine, I felt a jolt, kind of like an electric shock that ran all through my body, from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair, and suddenly it was surprisingly easy to stop thinking and just feel.
He teased me with gentle kisses, and I gasped with pleasure. He didn’t have to urge me to open my mouth this time, and his tongue darted in for a taste. Another jolt of that delicious electricity flowed through me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, delighting in the taste and feel of him. My limbs felt all tingly, and it was like a layer of fog shrouded my head.
I breathed in Ethan’s scent, relished the warmth of his body, devoured his cherry-tasting kisses, and my common sense didn’t have a thing to say about it. Somehow, I ended up lying down on the cot, my head on the pillow while Ethan bent over me, his chest against mine. In a distant corner of my mind, I noticed his weight was pressing the cameo into my skin, and that it was once again strangely warm. Then he started stroking up and down my side over my shirt, and I stopped thinking at all. He was keeping his distance from anything … sensitive, but my body was fully aware of the possibilities. If my mouth hadn’t been otherwise occupied, I might have asked him to break his word.
His tongue began to slide in and out of my mouth in a suggestive rhythm that actually made me groan. My every nerve ending tingled, and warmth gathered in my center, and it felt so, so good. …
Like I said, I wasn’t really thinking, and my head was foggy at best, but I guess on some subconscious level, my guard never goes down completely. The tingling, the warmth, the foggy head … they all reminded me of something. They reminded me of how I’d felt when I’d drunk Kimber’s extra-strong posset.
The realization was like a splash of cold water, and the fog dissipated like it had never been there. There was most definitely something wrong with this picture. I couldn’t have gone from the bundle of raw nerves I’d been a few moments ago to this relaxed, comfortable, sensual woman I was now. Not without some outside help, that is. I pushed on Ethan’s chest, and was relieved that he actually stopped. My breath came short, and my pulse was still rocketing, but I knew for sure Ethan had done something. Other than kiss me, that is.
“What did you do to me?” I demanded, struggling to sit up.
Ethan didn’t even try to pretend he didn’t know what I meant. “Take it easy,” he said. “It was just a little spell to help you relax.”
I was on my feet moments later, staring at Ethan in absolute horror. “You mean you have some kind of a roofie spell?” I cried. Humiliation heated my face, made me want to curl up in a ball and die. Could I be any more naive? Why hadn’t I listened to Kimber?
He frowned, like he was actually surprised by my reaction. “No. Nothing like that.” He stood up and took a step toward me.
I didn’t think then. I just reacted with all the hurt and fury and, yes, fear in my body. When he reached for me, I jerked my knee up, and I got him just where it hurt most. He doubled over, clutching his privates. Shaking with delayed reaction, I grabbed the kerosene lamp and dashed out into the tunnel, hoping against hope that my sense of direction for once wouldn’t fail me.