“No, really. You two sit together. I’m not feeling much like company anyway.”
Which is why, of course, at that exact moment, as I was moving my things to a desk in the back of the room, Travis appeared in the doorway.
He walked over and gave my wrist a squeeze. “Heard you was coming to school today.”
“Here I am,” I replied.
“I been worried about you, but my ma said I should let you alone for a while.”
“That’s fine.”
I didn’t know what to say to him. Suddenly, everything seemed so stupid. Could it really be that the world was still spinning? Didn’t everyone realize how hollow all their comings and goings were?
“I brought two lunches. I thought you might have forgot yours,” he said.
“I’m on free lunch.” Yup. I can cure cancer, but I still can’t buy my own food.
“Oh, right.”
He stood there, looking at me like he expected something. Just like everybody expects something. For themselves, of course. Not for me. Why worry about little Genuine? She’s got her free lunch, don’t she? What more does a poor Sweet need?
“You should go to class now,” I told him.
“Are you really sure you should be here today? I can—” He reached for my books.
“Please go,” I said.
Sonny walked up, his chest all puffed out. “I believe she asked you to leave, Tromp.”
“Sonny—” Jura darted over. Her wide eyes were the color of sweetgum honey. Even riled up, she was beautiful. No wonder Sonny wanted to be with her.
“Just go, Travis,” I said, suddenly feeling so, so tired at the prospect that there might be a fight.
But Travis’s attention was all on Sonny.
“Step off, Wentz,” Travis snarled.
“Can’t you even just leave her alone this one day? Don’t you get it? You’re not wanted.” Sonny shoved Travis’s shoulder.
“Sonny! Stop!” Jura said, gripping Sonny’s sleeve.
“She doesn’t even like you,” Sonny continued. “Do you?” This last question was directed at me.
I looked up at Sonny, then at Travis. More than anything, I just wanted them to go away.
I think what I’d intended to say was, “I don’t much like either of you right now.”
I only got as far as “I don’t—” when Sonny cut me off and said, “See!”
Travis’s face went slack. Before I could make sense of the fact that I’d been misunderstood, he fled the room and slammed the door behind him.
The second bell rang. Immediately, the door opened again and Mister Strickland stood in the doorway.
“I’m sorry. I thought that was the bell. Why aren’t you in your seats?” he demanded.
We had three hours till lunch. Three hours for Travis to steep good and dark, thinking I’d denied him.
I put my head down on my desk. I wanted so desperately to cry—over Gram, over Travis, over everything—but the tears just wouldn’t come.
Finally, lunchtime arrived. Though I didn’t feel like talking to anyone, I knew I should find Travis in the cafeteria and explain myself. But when I walked in and the smell of food hit me, I was suddenly so pukish I could barely stand.
“Are you okay?” Jura appeared and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
Her closeness seemed to shut out the fresh air. I breathed those awful deep breaths you take when you’re trying not to sick up.
“Can’t—” I said, and raced out the door, down the hall, and into the bathroom.
Once I was in there alone, with my forehead on the cool blue tiles of the privy wall, the queasiness started to pass.
The bathroom door opened.
“Oh, good. I thought I saw you come in here.”
I looked up. A girl strode in.
“Have you thought about my wish at all?” she demanded. “Because I’m sort of running out of time. If I don’t—”
It took me a second to place her. Ruby Hughes. She’d asked me twice about wishing up some new tack for her horse. Some big hooray of a show coming up.
“Go away,” I said.
“Look, Sweet, I know for a fact you granted Chastity Port’s wish—”
“Go. Away.”
With a goofy sort of roar, she ripped a handful of paper towels from the dispenser and threw them down on the floor. “You’re not the first kid whose granny ever died, you know!”
She waited, as if she actually thought her foul words might have changed my mind! When it became plain they hadn’t, she hissed, “Any fool can wish on a stupid star!” and stormed out.
After a sliver of a pause, I ran after her into the hall. Even though I was six inches shorter than she was and only two-thirds as wide, I grabbed her by the back of the shirt and spun her around.
“How about this, you cheese-eater?” I put my finger in her face. “How about you take your asinine horse show and stick it where the sun don’t shine? Or! Or! Even better! Any fool can wish on a star, you say? How about you wish up your stupid tack for yourself? Oh, wait! You can’t! Because you’re useless, you prima donna, gonna-be-married-and-barefoot-this-time-next-year, and I’ll tell you what, not a single person in this town is gonna give a care for your stupid horse or its tack! Or for you!”
I’m ashamed to admit, for about thirty seconds, I felt much better.
It was the thirty seconds after that that cast me into the breach. But even then, I didn’t cry. It was more like a howl that somebody tore out of me, a sound so full of rage it wasn’t even human. I slammed my open hand on one of the metal lockers and relished the racket as the sound rang through the hallway. I did it once more, bellowed, and took off at a run. I didn’t stop until I was halfway down Main Street, at which point I realized there was nowhere I wanted to go, nothing I wanted to do, and no one I wanted to do it with.