Penny nodded. “You’re right. And yet I still keep thinking gray.”
I tried to think of something kind to say, but the only thing that came was, “I imagine they give you lots of medicine here. And tests and whatnot.”
Penny let out a strange sound, something between a sob and a laugh. “Tests!” she cried, and made the sound again, this time looking at the sky, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Tests and medicine!” Penny exclaimed. “You’re right about that. I’ve had every test that ever was and then some! And you know what they say, Genuine Sweet? They say that I’m dying. That a cancer cell is more powerful than a person.” Penny made a fist so tight it shook. “More powerful than all the prayers and wishes in the world. More powerful than all the saints and G—” She fell apart, bawling.
I finally understood why Penny had caused that big ruckus back in Sass. She was sick in her body, and heartbroken on top of it.
I reached out to pat her hair, but she didn’t seem to like that, so I stopped.
“It wouldn’t have been right, my ma forcing a wish your sister didn’t want,” I said.
She nodded. “I know.”
“But you wish my ma had put a wish on Loreen, anyway?” I asked.
“No.” Penny wiped her eyes. “I mean, in a way, I do. But not really. Do you know what it is? What I think it really is?”
I gave her an encouraging headshake.
“Loreen and I were more than sisters,” she told me. “Of all my kin, she was the one who was kind to me. When I told her I wanted to sell houses someday, she didn’t laugh or scoff even once. I bet you’ll be real good at that, she said. And you know what? I am.”
Penny was so proud right then, I couldn’t help smiling.
“But then she was gone. Dead. And there I was, a young girl alone in a house full of—well. Suddenly, what I wanted more than anything was to follow where Loreen had gone. But a body fights against that. It conjures up reasons to live; any old reason will do. Oh, yes, I kept on, though it took a heartful of conjured hate to do it.
“But who could I hate? Loreen, for dying? The Big Man, for taking her? I wasn’t near brave enough for that! So I got mad at your ma. And real mad at myself for hoping. I bound myself up in a ball of hate, bitter as poison. But a lifetime of rage has a price.”
Penny shook her head in wonder. “It was me all along. I did it to myself! All those months and years, kindling and rekindling my ire. I was so, so angry.” She licked her lips with a dry tongue. “I thought the hate was keeping me alive—most times I thought that, anyway. But the truth is, the rage was killing me.
“I . . . do believe that’s how I ended up here, ill.
“And then comes little Genuine Sweet,” she went on, “making people feel good, and saying wishes can come true! What good is a wish when it can’t save a beloved sister? Tell me that!” She swallowed her pain again. “So there I was, a grown woman hating a child of twelve, stirring up strife.” She looked my way. “I am sorry about that, Genuine.”
I understood now. It was all right.
“I have got to stop this hating. I’ve got to let it go!” Penny grabbed my hand. “I need help.”
That wasn’t all she said. We talked for a time about Loreen, and about my own ma. It seemed Penny had known Ma nearly as well as Ham had. So the two of us sat on a rooftop in the middle of a strange city, her recalling two women I’d never known, and me bursting with giggles at hearing how Penny and Ma and Loreen had once worked up the courage to skip school and go down to the gorge. What with all their worrying that they’d be caught truant, they’d hardly had any fun, and even came back early. It wasn’t until they got home that they found out it had been a teacher planning day. They hadn’t been skipping at all!
Even when my ma had tried to break the rules, she couldn’t quite manage it. I decided I liked that about her. Very much.
After a time, Penny ran out of stories.
“But it was nice to remember,” she whispered.
A peaceful quiet fell between us.
I reached into my bag for a wish biscuit—it seemed like the time—and found I hadn’t brought a single one with me! That beautiful batch I’d made at the Tromps’—I’d taken the whole thing to Jura’s!
We’d come all that way! Penny had poured her heart out and asked for help! And now, here I was, about to tell her, It’s great that you’re ready to change, and all, but you’ll have to wait for me to run back to Sass and get you a biscuit?
I was still floundering when music danced in my ear. The single star overhead shimmered silver. It was my shine calling to me, and I knew what to do.
“What’s your wish, Miz Walton? Your exact wish?” I asked.
She dipped her chin while she thought. “I wish . . . to be happy. And to let go. Is that all right? Can I make two wishes?”
“It’s all right by me,” I replied. “But what about your cancer?”
She let out a soft sigh. “I don’t know whether it’s my time or not. But I do know it’s time for me to be the person Loreen would have wished me to be. That’s what I want.”
And so, like my ma before me, I respected a Walton woman’s unconventional wish. Though I didn’t have a cup to collect starlight, I whistled anyhow.
“Y’all come,” I crooned.
In the way-up distance, the star blossomed with silver light, brighter and brighter, till it was the only thing I could see. Then, all at once, the starlight flowed, spilling down through the darkness, so radiant that Ardenville’s electric glow turned faint as a flashlight at noon.
“It’s beautiful!” Penny cried.
The quicksilver was just within reach when I realized it wasn’t pouring down. Instead, it fell like silver snowflakes. Thousands. Millions of them.
“You ever catch snowflakes on your tongue, Miz Walton?” I asked.
She laughed. “Not for ages.”