Gates of Paradise (a Blue Bloods Novel)

Schuyler nodded. She hadn’t quite managed to stop crying yet, but she took a sip of iced tea and tried to hold it together.

“After the wedding, they lived in Napa for a while, but Allegra missed New York. They moved to the city and disappeared shortly afterward, and we didn’t hear from them for a long time. I tried getting in touch—I called your mother, your grandmother, I wrote letters, but nothing. It wasn’t like Ben, but we respected his privacy. Your mother had always been…different, but perhaps I was too cautious, too willing to step aside, and then it was too late.”

Schuyler wondered if Decca could tell that she was “different” too. Most likely. She had the sense that not much got by this new grandmother of hers. The vampires must have had to work overtime to keep her from figuring out what was going on. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” she said. “I’m here now, and we’re finally meeting each other.”

“Yes, it’s wonderful, isn’t it?” Decca beamed. “I want you to tell me all about yourself. We have so much catching up to do! Are you in school now? Is there a young man in your life? Tell me everything!”

Tell her everything? That was impossible. But she could edit, she supposed. She told Decca about growing up with Cordelia, living on the Upper West Side, and going to Duchesne. She told her about her brief stint modeling, how she hadn’t figured out what she wanted to do with her life yet (not exactly true, but at least it explained why she wasn’t going to college). And then she took a deep breath and told her about Jack.

How to explain Jack?

“There was someone in my life,” she said. “I was in love. It was hard—there were challenges for us, being together—but it was wonderful.”

“You’re using the past tense,” Decca said. “What happened?”

“I’m still not entirely sure,” Schuyler said. “All I know is that he’s gone, and I don’t think he’s ever coming back.”

“I lost my husband too,” Decca said, reaching out to again clasp Schuyler’s hand. “I understand that feeling of loss, that sense that a part of you has been physically taken away. That you’re diminished, less than you once were.”

“That’s exactly it,” Schuyler said. “There’s something missing in me now, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back.”

“You’re young,” Decca said. “I know that’s what people say, and it seems impossible now, but your heart will mend, and perhaps in the future…”

But Schuyler wasn’t ready to think about what her life could be like after Jack. And she had far more important concerns than herself; although the thought of Jack really and truly being gone forever was too much, and she found herself starting to cry again. Get it together, she thought.

“I can see that it’s too soon for you to think about it,” Decca said. “I understand—even at my age I have friends who try to arrange dates for me. I don’t have the heart to tell them I’m not ready and I may never be, though it’s been years.”

“But you have other family,” Schuyler said. “Your granddaughter…”

“Yes, Finn!” Decca brightened. “You really must meet her. She’ll be so thrilled to hear that she has a sister.”

Schuyler hoped that would turn out to be true, but she could easily imagine a reality in which it wasn’t.

“Do you have other children?” Schuyler asked.

“No, I’m afraid Bendix was our only child,” Decca said. “Of course we tried, for years and years, but we didn’t have all the marvelous technological advances you young people have these days. If you couldn’t manage it naturally, there was only so much the doctors could do.

“It’s a blessing that we’ve found each other, isn’t it?” Decca said. “Where are you staying? I insist that you move your things here and stay with me for a while, if you’re not otherwise occupied.”

“I wish that I could,” Schuyler said, and she really meant it. “But…” She had no idea how to explain why she couldn’t stay. She’d have to come up with something. “Some friends of mine are in trouble. I’m in the middle of helping them out—I came down here to help—and I need to get back to them.”

“I see,” Decca said, clearly disappointed. “Well, I won’t keep you, then.”

“No, it’s not like that!” Schuyler said. “I want to stay, really I do. And I hope that if you’ll have me, I can come back someday.”

Decca smiled. “Of course you can. You do what you need to do. I’ll be here when you return.”

“There’s just one more thing I have to ask before I go,” Schuyler said.

“About your father?”

Schuyler nodded.

“I figured you would,” Decca said.

“He did come back to you, eventually, didn’t he?” Schuyler said.

“Yes, he did.” She smiled sadly.

“I need to find him. Do you know where he is?”

“I do,” Decca said, giving her a concerned look.

“Where is he?”

“He’s here.”





TWENTYEIGHT


Mimi