Lifting my hand, I stared blankly at the table while the book I’d just finished returned to its place. Knowing about the magic of light and dark elves was interesting since I was now certain Adira was a light elf, but I didn’t see how the knowledge could help me.
Eliana’s words floated around in my mind. Adira had given me access to the library for a reason. Sure, she made it sound like it was for my liaison duties, but other than checking the wickedness of new recruits, I hadn’t done much of anything. Adira had also admitted there was nothing useful about furies in the library. Why, then, give me access? What was I supposed to learn in here? That I was just one of the many creatures that the gods had created? That the gods created us on a whim to fulfil a myriad of purposes to fit whatever agendas had filled their minds? All I was doing was questioning the validity of our existence. If the gods were no longer here to fight over the humans, why were any of us needed?
Someone knocked on the door. Shaking my head to clear the questions, I stood and answered the knock. Eliana grinned at me from out in the hall.
“Where’s Oanen?” I asked. Since we’d agreed on taking things slow without me avoiding him, I’d assumed he wouldn’t avoid me either.
“Flying already. We’re meeting up at the Roost in thirty. That includes you.”
I groaned.
“None of that,” she said. “I know how you get when you’re cooped up in that house too long. Being cooped up in this library is no different. You’re my ride. Let’s go.”
Most of the cars were already gone by the time we reached the lot.
“How long ago did the bell ring?” I asked, getting in.
“Not long,” she said, joining me. “I figured I’d wait a few extra minutes so you didn’t have to deal with the crowds and me at the same time.”
“Getting tired of tackling me?” I asked with a grin as I backed out.
“Not at all. Those moments are always the highlight of my day. I just thought you might be a little mad with me after…” She shrugged and looked down at her hands.
“I get why you didn’t tell me, Eliana. It was the smart thing to do. I wasn’t ready, and you were protecting me.”
She snorted.
“No way. I wasn’t protecting you; I was protecting my soul. I’d made a promise before I knew you and couldn’t break it. Especially now that I know hell’s real. For what it’s worth, I think Oanen should have told you from the beginning. Keeping that kind of secret can ruin a relationship before it starts. I hope it doesn’t ruin yours, though. I want you both to be happy.”
Her words only made me feel a smidge of guilt about the secret I was keeping from her. No matter what she said, Fenris was right. Eliana wasn’t ready to know about his interest in her.
“Me too,” I said, staying on topic. “But I don’t see how that will be possible if I keep cooking Oanen every time he’s around me.”
“Have you asked yourself why it’s just him? I mean, you’re fine around Fenris.”
“Probably because I have zero interest in Fenris romantically.”
She made a non-committal sound.
“I’m serious. And I’m positive he has no real interest in me.” Before she asked how I knew that, I quickly changed the subject.
“Now, is it really necessary to go to the Roost? Given my instability, and how easy it is for my temper to go off lately, wouldn’t a girl’s night at home be better?”
“No. This is Oanen’s idea. You’re going to practice control. Oh, and he wants you to wear the dress.”
I opened my mouth to tell her that wouldn’t happen, but she spoke first.
“He thinks wearing it will be a helpful distraction. You’ll be too aware of the dress to be overly aware of any wickedness.” She shrugged as I pulled into my driveway. “He might be on to something. You were okay last time.”
“Do you not remember the incubus I punched in the face? I was far from okay last time. No. No dress tonight. It’ll put me more on edge, and I don’t need that.”
However, twenty minutes later, I tugged at my hemline as I sat in the car and wondered what the hell had happened to my determination.
“Thank you so much, Megan. It’s a lot easier to dress like this when you’re dressed the same.”
I glanced at her dress, glad we weren’t. She wore a floor-length lavender number with a side slit up to the top of her thigh and a v-neckline that exposed the valley between her breasts.
“I would trip if I ever had to wear that thing,” I said, pulling out of the driveway.
“It’s making me nervous that Adira’s picking out my dresses now. This one isn’t bad, but what about the next one?”
“Most girls would kill to have someone delivering dresses like that to their door.”
“Not if the gifts were from Adira. There’s always strings attached.”
“What do you have to do tonight?”
“Just dance. I pulled a page out of your book and threw down an ultimatum when she told me she wanted me to feed on the crowd’s sexual energy.”
“Oh? What was the ultimatum?”
She gave me a sheepish grin.
“If they don’t stop pushing, I’d call my mom and take her up on her offer.”
“What offer? I didn’t know you were still talking to your mom.”
“Yeah. That’s the only thing keeping her out of Uttira.”
“Hold up. I thought she left you here. Abandoned you.”
“Yes and no. Succubi don’t have maternal instincts by nature. That’s why she left me with my dad. When she came for me, it was to bring me here where I wouldn’t hurt anyone while she taught me how to fend for myself.”
“Weren’t you twelve when you got here?”
“You see the problem. She didn’t. The Quills didn’t, at first either. Twelve is old enough for most succubi. But it wasn’t for me. Oanen saw that right away. He’s the one who stepped in when my mom brought me to the Roost and told me to pick a boy to give my virginity to. Because of him, she let me stay with the Quills. Because of my phone calls and updates from Adira regarding my progress, my mom’s staying away. If I ask, she’ll come back and show me how a Succubus is meant to live, using every man, woman, and child in Uttira as her teaching instruments.”
“I can see why the Council would want to keep her away.”
“Exactly. I guess Mom’s one of the best. She doesn’t understand that I don’t want to have a horde of willing servants to satisfy my every whim. Her words not mine.”
“So instead of feeding on horny teenage boys since you were twelve, you’ve been starving yourself?”
“No. My mom wouldn’t have stayed away if I’d done that. I do feed when I have to.”
“How?”
“I’d rather not talk about it,” she said, blushing.
Since we were almost to the Roost anyway, I didn’t press for more.
“So how are you going to monkey-tackle me with that dress on?” I asked instead.
“With grace, hopefully,” she said as I parked.
I grinned at her, and we got out of the car. The cold air had us hurrying toward the door and the familiar thump of music.
Inside, people danced as usual while others congregated in conversation around the couches or on the second-floor balcony around the bar. Familiar faces glanced our way as the gust of cold air swept in behind us. Thankfully, I didn’t feel any strong threads of wickedness in the crowd. I did, however, spot Fenris with his her-herd in the center of the floor. He winked at me and kept dancing.
“I see Ashlyn, Kelsey, and Zoe. Let’s go say hi,” Eliana said. She grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the back of the room. I didn’t mind skipping the dance floor for now.
“Hey, guys,” Eliana chirped happily. “Any problems?”
All three sat at the table. Each appeared to be reading a book. I knew better.
“None,” Kelsey said without looking up. “Ashlyn’s coaching has made a world of difference.”
Ashlyn snorted.
“Coaching? What coaching? All I told you was to ignore everyone. And that it works better if you have something to pretend you're distracted.”
“There was more than that,” Zoe said with a roll of her eyes. “But she made us promise not to tell.”
“Fair enough,” I said. “Whatever keeps you guys safe.”
Zoe’s gaze shifted from me to someone over my shoulder. I turned and found Jenna standing there, looking much better than she had the last time I'd seen her.
“I just wanted to say thank you, Megan.”