Meetings always took place in the main building of the gated community. It was a huge mansion that had once been solely Antonio’s home. Although he’d offered it to Sam and Jared when he stepped down from his position, the pair declined. In their minds, it was too much Antonio’s home. They felt it wouldn’t feel right to ask him to move.
As such, Antonio built them a beach house and divided the mansion into two sections. Half was his ‘living quarters’, which he shared with his mate. The other half was work space for Sam and Jared, including an office and several conference rooms. Antonio’s opinion was that their space should be in the centre of the community to place significance on their role and status.
Entering the building, I passed Sam and Jared’s office. Their personal assistant, Fletcher, paused in his typing and peered at me over his spectacles. “You’re a broth of emotions this evening.” Like Sam, the Brit had a strong London accent. He was also an Empath. “Frustrated. Anxious. A little dazed.”
Well, yeah. Feeling exposed, I fought a blush. “Good evening to you too,” I said, pressing the number for the elevator.
“Does this have anything to do with Dean? I hope not. You can do better.”
I’d figured that out when I heard he’d let another vampire drink from him. Biting was very intimate for my kind. His act was a form of cheating. And Dean knew it. “How’s Norm?” I asked, referring to Fletcher’s adorable boyfriend.
“Annoyed and upset that you missed two movie nights in a row. But he’ll forgive you, because he loves you.”
I smiled, stepping into the empty elevator. “See you later.”
The conference room was only half-full when I entered. Noticing that Butch wasn’t yet present, I greeted everyone before taking the seat between Paige and Denny, who had the cutest baby face.
I chatted with the people around me, but my mind was on Butch. I was still having trouble accepting the things he’d said. It all still seemed much too surreal. It had to be the Keja allure messing with his mind and playing his body. Had to be.
‘I had to watch you with that human for seven months. Seven. Long. Fucking. Months. The only thing that stopped me from hurting him was that he made you happy.’
The words had rang with a pain I wouldn’t have expected. A pain that suggested this was about more than just cravings. A pain he hadn’t acted on because he’d wanted me to be happy. But it was also a pain that I’d never once sensed. Wouldn’t I have noticed it if it was truly there?
Maybe. Maybe not. Butch was emotionally stoic and very good at projecting an outward calm. I had the feeling that he hid a lot behind that calm, but I didn’t know him well enough to be sure.
Still, did I want to try a relationship with him? A part of me did—the same part that wanted to believe he wasn’t simply roped in by the Keja allure. It was probably a bad idea, given that he was very distant and detached. But he had a lot of good points; he was loyal, trustworthy, and he always had my back. Even when I’d been with Dean, Butch had never been any less protective or supportive. And if he genuinely had found it hard to watch me with someone else, he’d never taken that pain out on me.
However, I wasn’t at all comfortable with giving him everything that I was. Not at all. There was knowing someone, and there was knowing someone. I didn’t know Butch well enough to put my soul in the palm of his hand like that. I trusted him with my life, but not with everything. I couldn’t give him what he wanted.
Since he wasn’t the type to take no for an answer, I doubted he would accept that. He wouldn’t behave, tip his hat, and walk away if this was truly important to him. And if he did accept that answer and walk away, well I’d know that I still wasn’t enough for him. That thought kind of depressed me.
Paige nudged me. “Cheer up, sunshine.”
I forced a smile. “I’m just tired.”
“Hasn’t the induced sleep completely worn off yet?” asked Alora, her expression thoughtful. “It struck you fast. One second, you were struggling like a wildcat. The next thing, you were limp in Butch’s arms.”
“I tried to take you,” said Paige, “but he wouldn’t have any of it. He said he’d take you home himself.”
Did he now? “He took me to his apartment.”
Alora’s lips pressed together. “You promised yourself you wouldn’t—”